The Contest of AGES [Bread|MPC36|If You Can't Take the Heat]

"Good for you." Replied the dragon bluntly. It was becoming common for him to get dragged into this kind of silly nonsense. At this point, he wasn't even bothering to protest. Or resist, for that matter. He would be dragged in eventually. Either by throughout convincing on the nun's part or just the incredible annoyance. He sighed, looking around the set for the dumb show. They weren't even cooks! What did she think she would accomplish here?

"I'm as ready as I can be. After getting kidnapped, that is." He replied blandly. And of course, not even a minute in and it already looked like this was all rigged. Seriously? If you didn't bring a partner, you got a professional? How was that fair? "... Oh come on! This is bullcrap!"

He groaned, dropping his chest over the kitchen counter set for them. They had thankfully gone on a break before the shitfest could start. Kyo didn't seem to share his relief at this. But of course, she was Kyo. She had probably already thought of a thousand (weird) recipes she could try with whatever possible ingredients she would get. 

"You realize I'm not a cook, don't you?" Suddenly spoke the younger one of the two, still laying flat on the kitchen counter. "I've never done anything other than putting a couple of fishes or meat over a fire." He told her frankly. "That's as far as my cooking knowledge goes." 

Not exactly impressive, but hey, it kept him fed. If he wanted an actually well-cooked meal, he could visit his master's home. This probably did little to help them at the moment, though. Then again, what did he care? If they won or lost it didn't really affect him. No matter how embarrassing it would be to lose to these people.

Who all likely had years of experience cooking, and where confident in their skills.

"Crap."

Yeah yeah, standard insult to Master Dukemon. Honestly, for a lunatic, she could be fairly predictable. Next, she would likely assure him she didn't even need his help. Heck, she probably chose him knowing he couldn't do crap. Probably just didn't want some other chef getting in her way.

"Whatever. Just do what you have to do." If she needed something chopped to pieces, he could help. Otherwise, she was basically on her own. Looking at the wide selection of professional chefs, Kyo must have been a highly skilled chef herself.

Or she had a lot of unjustified confidence. Considering this was her, this was rather likely too. He dearly hoped not. He didn't need to be humiliated on Digimon tv. 

The commercial pause gave him the time he needed to really gather his wits. He was there, and there was likely no escaping. So he may as well enjoy himself. He liked good food, even if he couldn't really make it. He could stomach a burnt fish, sure, but he greatly delighted on a well cooked Salmon, too. Or a grilled steak. 

Honestly, he just loved food. It was too bad he just couldn't put away time to learn to cook at the moment. Becoming stronger had never been too important until he joined PROFIT. Everyone there had been at a much higher level. It had made him just rush out to attain power. Being a small fry among giants was not a good feeling.

"Okay, forget what I said before. What do I do?" He asked, just as the commercial pause finished. The announcer came back, and gave the... rather dreadful news. They really were expected to compete against professional chefs? What kind of competition was that?

And why did Kyo look like she had something to do with it?!

"... What did you do." He asked point blank, his eye twitching slightly. Because he just knew she had something to do with it. "You know what, forget it. We gotta get cooking. Um, let's see..." Why did she ask him? He only knew food by its simple names! "Er... Rib-Eye Steak, I guess?"

Squire was halfway through swallowing down what appeared to be the skin of three perfectly peeled onions when Kyo finished talking. He glanced at her, then back at the onion skins in his hand and mouth. Then back at her again. 

Then he just shrugged, swallowing down the skins. As far as he was concerned, throwing them away would have been the same as throwing away a potato's peel. Just a darn waste!

"So... Cucumbers too then?" He asked casually as he grasped one of the kitchen knives on the counter, clicking his tongue at the edges. So sloppy. He could barely cleave through the entire marble kitchen island with this. How was he supposed to kill something with these?

Wait, he was cooking. 

"That would still require me to kill something sometimes..." He mumbled to himself as he chopped the Cucumbers into thin pieces, the knife in his hand blurred as it soundlessly cut through the vegetables without touching the wooden table underneath them. Onions followed soon after, chopped down to tiny pieces before being swiped to the side towards the cooking pot.

Working with Kyo was easy enough. He didn't know a lick of cooking, so he wasn't sure if they were doing anything right. She sure seemed like she knew what she was doing though! So long as she didn't ask him to do anything else, they would do fine.

Fine they did, apparently. The marshal took a sip of her own creation and seemed quite pleased with herself. Ever curious about meals in general, the little dragon would have been quite happy to try it out.

Naturally, the world was against his happiness. Before he could even get a sip, an explosion went off from across the other side of the cooking hall, with such massive force debris flew everywhere. Their particular cooking pot flew off to the side as if it were made of paper, its contents spilling over the floor in an almost tragic manner. Many food fanatics would have been broken by this most horrifying sight.

But for Squire, this was just another monday. He simply sighed.

"Figures." He mumbled, shaking his head while patting Kyo. She probably wasn't too amused by any of this. Luckily, few rolled with life's punches as well as Kyo did. "Ice cream sounds nice." He responded softly.

---

Cash pls.