Digizoid Chef Showdown [MPC#36]
Feb 1, 2017 2:52:41 GMT
Post by Colin, Luke & Bellamy on Feb 1, 2017 2:52:41 GMT
This last MPC#36 of mine is going to be about Cooking. And here we go.
Well... this certainly wasn't the most unusual thing to happen to Luke and Bellamy when they entered a dark room. But the next thing they remembered after a period in the darkness is being blinded by bright lights and canned applause.
Both thought they were dreaming as they appeared to be on the set of some kind of TV show, with two separate kitchens set up.
"What the hell is this place?" Luke asked, suddenly seeing that he was wearing some kind of apron and a dirty blonde wig.
"Ah, let's just roll with it, darling~" Bellamy said, somehow dressed in a black wig. "Besides, this looks like some kind of contest!"
Sure enough, the theme tune blared, and a glorious refrain sounded. The host descended from the ceiling wearing a jetpack, appearing as an OmegaShoutmon. While Bellamy wondered what the point of the spike on his crotch was about, Luke scowled, silently demanding an answer.
"Greetings!" he said. "Welcome to the latest episode of Digizoid Chef!"
"Oi, Crotch-Sting Matilda!" Luke snapped. "What the hell is this and why are we ripping off Iron Chef?! I thought someone else already bloody well did this!"
"Ah don't worry about him, host-senpai" Bellamy said, smiling. "Luke here just needs to get laid".
If Luke wasn't already colored red, he would have been now. OmegaShoutmon ignored them and continued on.
"Our two contestants today are apparently twins, somehow", OmegaShoutmon said, speaking into a microphone. "The winner of this contest will win... this Holy Bell Pepper" he held aloft a golden vegetable, eating it dramatically.
"...If it's holy WHY THE HELL DID YOU EAT IT!" Luke snapped, so grumpy that Bellamy thought he was probably going through that thing that human girls went through once a month.
"Because, dear brother" Bellamy said, grinning. "It now has a hole in it so it's even holier now"
Luke fought the urge to hurl a meat tenderizer at him. OmegaShoutmon then grew very showmanlike, walking to a central bench. "And tonight's special ingredient is..." he drew back the cover with a flourish. "Sweet Potatoes!"
He revealed a table full of long orange-red vegetables. Bellamy picked a particularly long and thick one up. "Hmm. I kinda miss Coronamon~" he sighed, wistfully.
"You may now... Begin!" OmegaShoutmon said, and supposing they had nothing better to do, Bellamy and Luke began to cook. As Bellamy danced around the kitchen and Luke yelled at his subordinates, the two commentators introduced themselves.
"Yes, that's right, Sweet Potatoes, an interesting ingredient tonight" Colin said. "Also hello, I'm Colin James and I'm stuck in this commentary box with... something hairy"
"Colin-san!" said another voice.
"Yes?" Colin asked, thinking that sounded familiar.
"It's me, Owen" said the canine digimon.
"Ah, hey, Owen" Colin said, looking down at the setting. "Sweet Potatoes are of course a vegetable related to the Yam-".
"Colin-san!"
"Yes?"
"Actually, it's a common misconception that Sweet Potatoes are yams, they're in fact from a completely different genus" Owen said.
"Thank you, Owen" Colin said. "Well then, the different styles of the two chefs is immediately being demonstrated. Bellamy appears to be... groping some figs for some reason".
"Colin-san!"
"Owen will you please stop doing that?" Colin asked, annoyed. Yes, even though they did it in the real Iron Chef, it was just jarring here. "Just say what you want, yeesh"
"Okay, so, Colin, I believe Bellamy is attempting to tenderize the figs" Owen said.
"Hm. Alright then. Meanwhile Luke appears to be... bullying the assistants" Colin continued, awkwardly, as Luke seemed more concerned with putting a slice of bread on either side of a Sukamon assistant and making him call himself a "Shit Sandwich".
"And now Luke seems to have noticed that Bellamy is actually cooking now" Owen said, as Luke rushed about the kitchen. "And... ooh, that's interesting, Luke appears to be making Sweet Potato Fries, that should be delicious indeed".
"Bellamy meanwhile appears to be having the potatoes mostly intact and... oh wow, he's creating a stuffing for them. That should be quite delicious" Owen continued, the Gaomon licking his lips.
"I should also add that this commentary box is tiny, and Owen doesn't appear to have washed for a few days" Colin said, a bit unhappy about having to share it with a smelly dog.
"And I find it ironic that a human has the temerity to complain about my scent when my sense of smell is fifty times stronger than his and he has no idea how bad a sweaty human teenager smells" Owen said, the two getting a bit passive aggressive in their tiny cell.
"Meanwhile Luke seems to be doing something experimental here - Sweet Potato Ravioli" Colin said, deciding that arguing was probably not going to do them any good. "And... oh dear, he seems to have got angry at the Sukamon for touching it and he's thrown it in the bin, currently yelling at the producer for giving him an assistant that was literally walking crap".
As Luke was doing this, Bellamy appeared to be making very phallic looking dishes with the most suspect looking vegetables.
"Can we show those on TV?" Colin asked.
"I don't know, what are those meant to look like?" Owen asked, the Gaomon unfamiliar with reproductive organs.
"Well, just blur it just in case" Colin advised. It was done. "No, the vegetables, not Bellamy's face!" he clarified, as the blur filter was applied correctly.
As time went down, the competition appeared to be heating up. Both of them were frantically trying to complete their dishes as the seconds ticked down.
"And... oh my god, Bellamy, why would you make such a thing?" Colin asked, facepalming about how Bellamy was now using carrots and tomatos to emphasize his dishes.
"And it looks like Luke's assistants have revolted and have knocked him out with a skillet" Owen added. "And there's 5 seconds left... 4... 3... 2... 1... and finish!"
A siren blared through the studio and OmegaShoutmon reappeared. "We will now pass judgement on these dishes!" he announced. And the dishes were carried away to 4 prominent taste-judges, who had their voices mockingly translated into english.
After they made the judgement, the winner was dramatically declared. Would it be the Smexy Chef Bellamy with his Phallic Potatory or the Rude Chef Luke with a bandage around his head?
"...Rude Chef Luke!" OmegaShoutmon shouted. Luke pumped his fists with delight.
"Oh my that's a shock" Colin commented. "It seems that because Bellamy's dishes were blurred, they couldn't be properly seen by the judges and thus scored minimum points for presentation! This is a disaster for Bellamy!"
"And yes it seems that he can be just as rude as his brother as he's now grasping some Potatoes and attempting to stuff them into the judges" Owen added. "Oh dear, he's not taking it well"
"And it seems that a judge has hit back and triggered Luke's passive ability and now he's joining in the fight too, oh dear" Colin sighed. "And in the confusion, the Sukamon assistant has come along and seized the Holy Bell Pepper! Well, isn't this an upset of the year!"
As the credits rolled and the food went flying, Colin and Owen were finally released from the commentary box. Both celebrated their freedom by Colin grabbing his partners and running away home.
[The End]
Bits for me please.
Well... this certainly wasn't the most unusual thing to happen to Luke and Bellamy when they entered a dark room. But the next thing they remembered after a period in the darkness is being blinded by bright lights and canned applause.
Both thought they were dreaming as they appeared to be on the set of some kind of TV show, with two separate kitchens set up.
"What the hell is this place?" Luke asked, suddenly seeing that he was wearing some kind of apron and a dirty blonde wig.
"Ah, let's just roll with it, darling~" Bellamy said, somehow dressed in a black wig. "Besides, this looks like some kind of contest!"
Sure enough, the theme tune blared, and a glorious refrain sounded. The host descended from the ceiling wearing a jetpack, appearing as an OmegaShoutmon. While Bellamy wondered what the point of the spike on his crotch was about, Luke scowled, silently demanding an answer.
"Greetings!" he said. "Welcome to the latest episode of Digizoid Chef!"
"Oi, Crotch-Sting Matilda!" Luke snapped. "What the hell is this and why are we ripping off Iron Chef?! I thought someone else already bloody well did this!"
"Ah don't worry about him, host-senpai" Bellamy said, smiling. "Luke here just needs to get laid".
If Luke wasn't already colored red, he would have been now. OmegaShoutmon ignored them and continued on.
"Our two contestants today are apparently twins, somehow", OmegaShoutmon said, speaking into a microphone. "The winner of this contest will win... this Holy Bell Pepper" he held aloft a golden vegetable, eating it dramatically.
"...If it's holy WHY THE HELL DID YOU EAT IT!" Luke snapped, so grumpy that Bellamy thought he was probably going through that thing that human girls went through once a month.
"Because, dear brother" Bellamy said, grinning. "It now has a hole in it so it's even holier now"
Luke fought the urge to hurl a meat tenderizer at him. OmegaShoutmon then grew very showmanlike, walking to a central bench. "And tonight's special ingredient is..." he drew back the cover with a flourish. "Sweet Potatoes!"
He revealed a table full of long orange-red vegetables. Bellamy picked a particularly long and thick one up. "Hmm. I kinda miss Coronamon~" he sighed, wistfully.
"You may now... Begin!" OmegaShoutmon said, and supposing they had nothing better to do, Bellamy and Luke began to cook. As Bellamy danced around the kitchen and Luke yelled at his subordinates, the two commentators introduced themselves.
"Yes, that's right, Sweet Potatoes, an interesting ingredient tonight" Colin said. "Also hello, I'm Colin James and I'm stuck in this commentary box with... something hairy"
"Colin-san!" said another voice.
"Yes?" Colin asked, thinking that sounded familiar.
"It's me, Owen" said the canine digimon.
"Ah, hey, Owen" Colin said, looking down at the setting. "Sweet Potatoes are of course a vegetable related to the Yam-".
"Colin-san!"
"Yes?"
"Actually, it's a common misconception that Sweet Potatoes are yams, they're in fact from a completely different genus" Owen said.
"Thank you, Owen" Colin said. "Well then, the different styles of the two chefs is immediately being demonstrated. Bellamy appears to be... groping some figs for some reason".
"Colin-san!"
"Owen will you please stop doing that?" Colin asked, annoyed. Yes, even though they did it in the real Iron Chef, it was just jarring here. "Just say what you want, yeesh"
"Okay, so, Colin, I believe Bellamy is attempting to tenderize the figs" Owen said.
"Hm. Alright then. Meanwhile Luke appears to be... bullying the assistants" Colin continued, awkwardly, as Luke seemed more concerned with putting a slice of bread on either side of a Sukamon assistant and making him call himself a "Shit Sandwich".
"And now Luke seems to have noticed that Bellamy is actually cooking now" Owen said, as Luke rushed about the kitchen. "And... ooh, that's interesting, Luke appears to be making Sweet Potato Fries, that should be delicious indeed".
"Bellamy meanwhile appears to be having the potatoes mostly intact and... oh wow, he's creating a stuffing for them. That should be quite delicious" Owen continued, the Gaomon licking his lips.
"I should also add that this commentary box is tiny, and Owen doesn't appear to have washed for a few days" Colin said, a bit unhappy about having to share it with a smelly dog.
"And I find it ironic that a human has the temerity to complain about my scent when my sense of smell is fifty times stronger than his and he has no idea how bad a sweaty human teenager smells" Owen said, the two getting a bit passive aggressive in their tiny cell.
"Meanwhile Luke seems to be doing something experimental here - Sweet Potato Ravioli" Colin said, deciding that arguing was probably not going to do them any good. "And... oh dear, he seems to have got angry at the Sukamon for touching it and he's thrown it in the bin, currently yelling at the producer for giving him an assistant that was literally walking crap".
As Luke was doing this, Bellamy appeared to be making very phallic looking dishes with the most suspect looking vegetables.
"Can we show those on TV?" Colin asked.
"I don't know, what are those meant to look like?" Owen asked, the Gaomon unfamiliar with reproductive organs.
"Well, just blur it just in case" Colin advised. It was done. "No, the vegetables, not Bellamy's face!" he clarified, as the blur filter was applied correctly.
As time went down, the competition appeared to be heating up. Both of them were frantically trying to complete their dishes as the seconds ticked down.
"And... oh my god, Bellamy, why would you make such a thing?" Colin asked, facepalming about how Bellamy was now using carrots and tomatos to emphasize his dishes.
"And it looks like Luke's assistants have revolted and have knocked him out with a skillet" Owen added. "And there's 5 seconds left... 4... 3... 2... 1... and finish!"
A siren blared through the studio and OmegaShoutmon reappeared. "We will now pass judgement on these dishes!" he announced. And the dishes were carried away to 4 prominent taste-judges, who had their voices mockingly translated into english.
After they made the judgement, the winner was dramatically declared. Would it be the Smexy Chef Bellamy with his Phallic Potatory or the Rude Chef Luke with a bandage around his head?
"...Rude Chef Luke!" OmegaShoutmon shouted. Luke pumped his fists with delight.
"Oh my that's a shock" Colin commented. "It seems that because Bellamy's dishes were blurred, they couldn't be properly seen by the judges and thus scored minimum points for presentation! This is a disaster for Bellamy!"
"And yes it seems that he can be just as rude as his brother as he's now grasping some Potatoes and attempting to stuff them into the judges" Owen added. "Oh dear, he's not taking it well"
"And it seems that a judge has hit back and triggered Luke's passive ability and now he's joining in the fight too, oh dear" Colin sighed. "And in the confusion, the Sukamon assistant has come along and seized the Holy Bell Pepper! Well, isn't this an upset of the year!"
As the credits rolled and the food went flying, Colin and Owen were finally released from the commentary box. Both celebrated their freedom by Colin grabbing his partners and running away home.
[The End]
Bits for me please.
