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Salla Ozuka and Artemis
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Post by Salla and Artemis on Feb 27, 2014 20:53:13 GMT
Name: Salla Ozuka Alias: Lady Sal Age: 18 Gender: Female Height: 5’8” Weight:150 Alignment: unresolved Birth Date: 10/23 Birth Place: Lousiana MO Western Horoscope: Libra Eastern Zodiac: Dog Skills/Talents: Salla is a black belt in Karate (Can't use it on Digimon, even if I don't see what the big deal is.) and a valedictorian. Her strength and stamina (and I suppose speed) are above average due to years of dedication. She’s also talented when comes to comedy. Personality: Salla hates being the one who’s protected, but does make exceptions. In addition to hating being a damsel in distress, she’s also a slight chocoholic. She’s stubborn and an overall tomboy. She hates being protected because she can hardly go anywhere without her brother hovering close by. She likes to read while sitting down in Miyashita Park. She is perhaps just slightly carefree. She is also sarcastic and aggressive. Despite being aggressive, she is also kind hearted. She dislikes lazy people, stating “If you want it done right, do it yourself.” She also dislikes stupidity and likes shirts that say things like “Your Face: 3,000,000 People dislike this”. Appearance: She has blue shoulder length hair and blue eyes. She wears a denim jacket, though it takes the form of a vest whenever she’s in the Digital World. She also wears blue jeans. She wears a wide variety of snarky t-shirts. One of which says “C.S.I. Can’t Stand Idiots” and another is Face Book themed saying “Your Face: 3,000,000 People dislike this”. She also wears combat boots and a brown leather belt. Whenever she practices karate, she wears a white gi complete with a black belt. Her skin slightly tan. She carries around a black and white bag with its strap over her opposite shoulder. She also wears a dog tag necklace. Personal History: When she was five she broke her leg and her brother felt a phantom pain. When she was 10, her father had supposedly died in a car crash. His body was never recovered. Her mom works for a gaming company, so she moved along with her twin brother to Shibuya when their mom got transferred. While she was in Shibuya, she took Karate classes because she didn’t ever want anyone having to protect her. She kept pushing herself mentally and physically until she graduated high school a year early. She currently spends most of her time practicing Karate or stomping her brother at checkers, though it’s the other way around when it comes to chess. When she’s not doing either of those, she walks around Miyashita Park. Sometimes she’ll just sit there and read a book. On one of her outing with out Nova, she found a crescent moon pendant which she carries with her to this very day. Backpack Contents: - Mysterious Crescent Moon Pendant
- Cell Phone
- Hair brush
- Books from the "For Dummies" series
Digivice:  D-Terminal: 
Partner’s Name: Artemis Default Form: Lunamon Gender: Female Alignment: unresolved Skills/Talents: Artemis is a skilled dancer. She also specializes in Scythe and Archery weapons. Abilities: Night Shroud: Artemis can turn invisible in every form after In-Training for 1 post plus 1* the number of levels above Rookie along with anything she’s holding, but only once a thread. Lunar Tracking: Artemis can see through the crescent pendant Salla carries. Personality: Artemis is usually very gentle and caring. While Yukimi Botamon she’s also timid, often shying away from people she doesn’t know. As Moonmon, she’s energetic and loses her shyness. As Lunamon her caring personality shines through, plain as day. She tends to stop attacking to heal allies, leaving her wide open. She also shows an interest in dancing. As Lekismon, she becomes less gentle and more protective. The loss of her gentle attitude and increase in protectiveness continues to Dianamon, who retains only a sliver of being gentle and no longer shows sympathy for her enemies. Due to the remainder of her gentleness and her caring personality, she is still merciful. As her level rises, she also makes fewer mistakes as far as when to heal allies.
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Post by Salla and Artemis on Feb 27, 2014 20:53:54 GMT
DIGIMON'S INITIAL EVOLUTION LINE
Appearance:  Fresh: Yukimi Botamon Attribute: Free Family/ies: None Type: Slime Attacks: Moondust: Short range distraction. Digivolves To: Moonmon
Appearance:  In-Training: Moonmon Attribute: None Family/ies: None Type: None Attacks: Dark Burst: Weak Range attack using a ball of darkness. Frost Breath: Range attack meant to slow attackers. 1 Post Cooldown Digivolves To: Lunamon
Appearance:  Rookie: Lunamon Attribute: Data Family/ies: Deep Savers Type: Mammal Attacks: Crescent Moon: Basic Melee attack using a scythe made of ice. Scythe lasts 3 posts. Lunar Tear: Uses a ball of water as a range attack. 10-15 ft. Range. Moonlight's Blessing: Heals a target a standard amount with a tower of light. 3 post cooldown. Digivolves To: Lekismon
Appearance:  Champion: Lekismon Attribute: Data Family/ies: Deep Savers Type: Beast Man Attacks: Moon Night Kick: She jumps up a bit, spins on a horizontal axis, forms an illusory moon around her, and then kicks down on the opponent with her foot, which is wrapped in silver and dark energy. Tear Arrow: Summons a bow of ice and fires a single arrow of water. The arrow is accurate up to 50 ft, but flies through the at speed of a typical arrow. Moon Night Bombs: Throws orbs of water that explode. Damaged target(s) falls asleep for 3 posts or until hit again and 2 can be thrown at once. 2 post cool down. Healing Spring: Conjures healing rain above up to 3 targets and does basic healing. 3 post cooldown. Digivolves To: Crescemon
Appearance:  Ultimate: Crescemon Attribute: Data Family/ies: Deep Savers Type: Demon Man Attacks: Lunatic Dance: Dances and creates three clones. She along with clones dance to confuse others before attacking all at once during each post the clones are around. Clones have Champion level strength and last 3 posts. 5 post cooldown Dark Archery: Fires crescent shaped blasts of dark energy from her scythe Up to 2 can be fired in one post. Ice Archery: Slashes crescent shaped shockwaves of ice at opponents. Up to 2 can be fired in one post. Lunar Shield: Conjures a barrier of light large enough to protect herself and one champion ally from her shield. This can be used to protect multiple allies as long as their total size does not exceed the max for champion level Digimon. Lasts 2 posts, 4 post cooldown. Lunar Spring: A combination of healing rain and light rain down on up to four targets for basic healing. 5 post cooldown. |
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Post by Salla and Artemis on Feb 27, 2014 20:59:27 GMT
OPTIONAL EVOLUTIONARY STAGES Appearance:  Armor Champion: Rabbitmon, the Blade of Honor Attribute: Vaccine Family/ies: Nature Spirit Type: Mammal Digimental:  Abilities: Sharp Ears: Artemis's has sensitive ears, allowing her a sharper sense of hearing. They also are sharp enough to cut through metal. Attacks: Ear Lancer: Extends her ears forward like blades to spear a target Iron Defense: Her ears gain a metal coating as they are used to deflect attacks. Carrot Bomb: Two carrots appear in her hands, which she lobs at foes like grenades.1 post cool down Rabbit Blitz: She repeatedly strikes a target with her ears using them like blades. 5 post cool down. Digivolves To:
Appearance:  Armor Ultimate: Rapidmon, the Freezing Justice Attribute: Vaccine Family/ies: Metal Empire/Wind Guardian/Deep Saver Type: Cyborg Digimental:  Abilities: Swift Flight: Like most Rapidmon, this icy Rapidmon can fly at extremely high speeds. Aquatic Tactics: Unlike most Rapidmon, this one can fight well underwater as well as breathe underwater thanks to her mask-like neck protector, which usually closes during battle. Radar: Her gigantic ears are used as a radar. Because of this, she can act even in the dark and detect distant enemies. Attacks: Freezing Burst: Fires several homing missiles from her back. The missiles encase whatever they hit in ice. Digimon are freed after a maximum of 3 posts. 4 Post cool down. Best suited for multiple and larger targets. Tri Beam: Fires a triangular beam of concentrated freezing energy that emanate from the cannons in her arms and her horn. The beam encases whatever it hits in ice. Digimon are freed after a maximum of 4 posts. 4 post cool down. Best suited for single targets. Tri Shield: A pink triangular shield deploys itself in front of Artemis from the pink triangle on her chest. Shield has Armor champ strength and lasts three posts with a 3 post cool down. Icicle Arrow: Fires a large icicle from her arm cannon. One can be fired from each arm cannon Rapid Fire: Fires 3 ice shards from each arm cannon in quick succession. Digivolves To: N/A
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Post by Salla and Artemis on Feb 27, 2014 21:05:47 GMT
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Post by soveliss on Feb 27, 2014 21:17:51 GMT
Appearance needs more content.
Histroy seems really choppy. Dead parents are generally a no, and especially when they don't add anything aside from an extra sentence (which this just seems to). Also the last two sentences where 100% appearance, and not history.
Night Shroud needs further explaining, and some kind of limit/drawback, otherwise it's completely broken.
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Post by Salla and Artemis on Feb 27, 2014 21:30:29 GMT
First, last I checked dead parents (as long as it's only one) are fine. Besides, he's just missing. That is also a key point for Salla. Thanks for pointing out the mix up though, I fixed history and appearance. Second, Night Shroud's duration depends on Artemis's form. For example, Lunamon would be one post, and a Mega form would be 4. But I did add the part where it only works once per thread back in.
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Post by NolChannel on Feb 28, 2014 0:41:31 GMT
Let's start off fresh here...
-Generally speaking, for skills and talents, we want you to pick one thing that your character is excellent at, instead of making someone with five or six perfect traits.
-Your character's personality is a bit choppy and disorganized... and doesn't sound like a kind-hearted person at all. More like a jerk, really.
-Clothes do not make appearance. I can wear a blue shirt tomorrow. A few lines about clothes are fine but not when it makes up 90% of the appearance.
-Does the history imply that your character is psychic? You also have extreme tragedies in her past that are not reflected in her personality. At all. So the parent doesn't really need to be dead and there doesn't really need to be a tragic accident.
-Ohai Nintendo.
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Post by Salla and Artemis on Feb 28, 2014 3:46:17 GMT
First, let's nail history. She's Nova's twin sister. Therefore similarities are required. Namely that one tragedy since it makes Nova over protective, which in turn influences his sister's personality and general dislike of being guarded. Also the part about being psychic? Only to the point that when she's seriously injured her brother feels it too.
Second, Personality. I already covered part of it already, but She's kindhearted in general, just not to where there's any point in describing how.
Third, appearance. Okay, these are just generally hard for me, but I honestly did not see anything implying how much I could describe clothing in comparison to the rest. I just took a small bit of how I actually dress. How often do you even see how a face is described completely anyway? Besides, most characters in anime and manga have only two or three alt. outfits at the most.
Finally, there isn't six perfect traits. I didn't put her in college (though if she really wanted to get away from Nova, she should've just gone). Really it's Nova trying to protect her that's pushing her away and causing her to constantly push herself. I also said that she's above average, not built for running and wrestling or anything like that. Lastly I merely said she was talented when it comes to comedy. I didn't say she's a comedic genius or actually gauge how talented she is. The only thing that could really be considered perfect is her blackbelt. Just a nitpick, but also people IRL often have more than one thing their good at. For example, I'm currently taking karate, a talented gamer, a math wiz, good at finding errors in writing when proofreading, and good at drawing even though I have never built on it.
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Post by Salla and Artemis on May 24, 2014 23:08:01 GMT
BUMP
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Post by Sinn on May 25, 2014 7:46:37 GMT
Let's start fresh fresh;
- You gave her a street fighter name, but not once mentioned street fighting, or anything like that. And while we're on fighting, 'black belt' in karate is vague, as a black belt in different age groups is different as night and day. Also, and speaking from experience here, Karate is one of the worst martial arts to defend yourself in 'street fights' because of its rules and such.
-Clothes can be ok, as long as you don't give specifically what she wears. I mean, do you wear the same shirt every day for a year? And anime only wears 1 to 2 outfits? Tell you what, you draw out every thread and then I'll be okay with it. This is to ease the animation process, something you don't have to worry about here.
- Blue hair best be dyed. If it's natural...
-Wears combat boots, and dog tags. I'm not sure the context here. I mean, why those? She already wears snarky t-shirts and has blue hair. Oh an it's illegal fight using martial arts and wear combat grade boots, BTW. Unless it's official duties (Military/police) so she'd have to take them off each fight, lest she get arrested. And in a fight, taking off those boots would get you killed. Also, my biggest pet peeve is people wearing uniform items as a fashion statement. Dog tags are to ID people in case of Severe mutilation of the body, allergies to medicine, born diseases, how to bury the body, and to count the dead. Anyone military would see it a mile away. (If her father was military, then I could understand.)
Now to story;
-Dead parent. While generally a no, it can be ok if it actually applies to the story (Like her dad died and it made her more independent, like she thought learning to fight could save the ones she loved. That would make more sense.) this is just a one sentence filler that has zero context to the story, as does her pulling a Big Boss. (Phantom pain).
-Change Nintendo, this is to avoid copyright issues. Gaming company works fine.
-How exactly do you physically push yourself in high school? Again, context.
-Also, why did you name your character's partner Artemis when she has no real relevance to her? Artemis was the godess of hunting, animals, young girls, childbirth, and prone to give/take diesels. Again, I think it suffers from context.
Got a lot to fix, and a lot to change, but I do see some possible potential in her.
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Post by Salla and Artemis on May 25, 2014 15:14:52 GMT
First, Partner name. Artemis is the Greek Goddess of the moon. Lunamon's Mega is Dianamon.
She doesn't have dead parent, he's just missing (and presumed dead). She's Nova's twin brother as I've already said. Therefore since it influences Nova's personality (his protectiveness of his family), that influences Salla to be more independent. The phantom pain is a twin thing.
As for pushing yourself in school. How should I put this? Study study study. Basically she studies harder than most. Oh yeah, forgot about gym.
Now the dogtags, I'm willing to change that to the necklace mentioned in the history, but I have seen some people with dogtags that having to do with being in the military and stuff like that. Heck, I have a Yu-gi-oh GX one with Jaden on it.
Now the Karate part. It's the only martial art I feel comfortable practicing that I've ever practiced. Would take Jujitsu, but I'm more less afraid of hurting someone on accident. So I can RP the Karate from experience.
As for the anime only getting two or three outfits, I believe the only exception in Digimon is Davis, who has four, and Ash in Pokemon, who has changed outfits each region after Johto. But that's the kid friendly anime.
Now hair color. Natural considering any and all rp is fictional and that Digimon logic applies here...
Anything I forgot before I go fix stuff?
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Post by Sinn on May 26, 2014 0:36:17 GMT
"Afraid to hurt someone" that's kind of the point of taking martial arts. As for all of that you told me, why don't you just say that in your profile instead of making us point it out?
And "Dogtag STYLE necklace" works. No problem with that. And that phantom pain thing is...pointless but ok. And let me apply logic to the missing father.
If you get into a car wreck and you go missing for eight years...Again, you left no notion of really anything. So it's impossible to assume/imply anything. And plus, getting into a car wreck and going missing...Yeah, he's dead. Digimon logic or not. If not found in three days, your chances of survival drop five percent everyday. Do the math. People going missing by kidnapping is one thing, as is fugue states. But someone somewhere would have found him if he was alive. (Unless it was staged)
Give me one tamer with blue hair. I'll give you Mimi, but even her's is implied to be dyed.
Nintendo. Change this.
Again, you just say these things you keep justifying to us. Fix them in your profile and not through replies.
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Post by Salla and Artemis on May 26, 2014 1:12:00 GMT
I would, but currently I'm having issues with making the edits. Namely my comp. Oh and the tamer? Henry. There's also Ken I'm sure.
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Post by Sinn on May 26, 2014 3:23:48 GMT
Touché, regardless, that's a subtle blue.
Also, you're posting pretty easily. How exactly are you having trouble edits?
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Post by Salla and Artemis on May 26, 2014 13:05:33 GMT
I'm using the quick reply. My comp just won't load the edit page right. However, today is another day (and Memorial Day at that) so it's worth trying again today. And even if my comp won't do it, I have other devices I can use today seeing as how I won't be home.
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