Spire's Old Writings
Sept 6, 2018 4:22:45 GMT
Post by Colin, Luke & Bellamy on Sept 6, 2018 4:22:45 GMT
So heya. I was just browsing an old site and came across some old MPC's that I did long ago. So I thought I might share some of them here, since the forum they're on has been shut down.
This first one was from a parody themed MPC, titled "Tadao Asahina and the Thingy of Whatever". Please note that some characters, while named the same, may appear different to how they are on here.
Tadao was staring outside the window of his compartment, the train he was riding on snaking its way through the countryside. The events that had preceded this... he still could barely comprehend it.
Since he was a boy, he felt... somewhat different to others. He had abilities that nobody else in his class had... such as... having a digivice. And well, that was it really. But apparently that meant something extremely vital.
And he soon found out exactly what. For one stormy night as he was studying for a university entrance exam, a giant hairy figure burst into his room. Tadao yelled with horror as it approached... and then, amazing flashing lights and glitter shone everywhere as the figure revealed himself to be a giant lion man wearing a Sailor Senshi outfit.
"Yer a wizard, Tadao!" he said.
"...EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" Tadao shouted.
"Oh. Well... I just uh was here to give a message to yeh from Professor Jyureimon is all" the lion man said in a gruff voice, still sparkling with stardust. "Anyway, I'm Raion, Keeper o' keys at File Island School of Digimoncraft and Child Soldiery- I MEAN- Magical Adventury"
He tried to distract him with glitter and rainbows. Tadao wasn't buying it.
"You want me to be a child soldier" he repeated blankly.
"Well, I don't personally, I'm just here following orders is all" Raion huffed. "So do you wanna come or not?"
"You know this would have been a much funnier joke if you came in and pretended to be the tooth fairy" said Tadao, blankly.
"You get yer free digimon partner" Raion said, sweatdropping as he realized he was probably failing. "Come on, it's better than mopin' around 'ere all day"
Tadao sighed, relenting, supposing the idea of a 'digimon partner' might not be too bad. It wasn't like he enjoyed life here at home with his demanding parents and no siblings or friends.
"Sure, why not?" he had said, and following that, was whisked off to the train station and boarded this train to wherever File Island was.
Tadao was distracted by a knock at the door. And he blinked as he saw what looked like a child-sized grey and white teddy bear wearing a baseball cap blinking at him.
"Uh, hey, can I sit in here, man?" he asked, speaking in a casual friendly sort of ebonics-like voice.
"Yeah, you can" Tadao said, curious about the creature. He looked kind of cute. Not as startling as Raion was at all. The teddybear kid grinned and sat down opposite him.
"Thanks, yo" he said. "My name's Brad. What's yours dawg?"
Tadao was at first a little unnerved at how he was being so friendly. It wasn't something he was used to at home, that was for sure.
"It's, uh, Tadao" he said. "Tadao Asahina"
For some reason, these words caused Brad's eyes to widen. Tadao wondered why. Did Brad know him? Then the teddy bear kid leaned forward.
"Say, uh, Tadao... do you have a digivice?"
Tadao reached into his pocket. Indeed he did, a little trinket he'd had for quite a while. And, as he did so, it seemed to glow. Slightly at first, then brighter and brighter, until finally, the digivice seemed to transform from its original form of a weird blank magenta thing into a bright blue-white device with strange runes on it.
"Oho! What's this?! Little Braddon's got a partner?!"
Tadao jumped slightly as the door opened. And into the compartment appeared two other creatures. One was a red rabbit and the other was a white lion. Brad looked a bit uncomfortable.
"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Braddon's Partner" said the red rabbit, extending his paw. "I'm Luke and this is Lan Beazley. We're Brad's older brothers see?"
"I can see the family resemblance" said Tadao. The three of them were talking animals after all. Luke laughed. "I'm Tadao. Wait, what do you mean partners? I only showed him my digivice..."
"And the digivice reacted didn't it?" Lan said, brightly. "Nice going, Brad, before you even arrived on the island, mate"
"Er... right..." Brad said, a little withdrawn from this sudden event. Tadao was getting a little exasperated when another talking animal poked his head in.
"Lan, Luke, here you are" said a blue and white dog creature that was taller than the lot of them. "Were you the ones that set off the 2013 Meme Bomb in the third carriage? You have every single person in there doing the Harlem Shake"
"Ohoho, dear brother, what in the world makes you think we're capable of that?" asked Luke. "We don't know the meaning of the word meme"
"This is our elder brother, Owen" Lan explained to Tadao. "He's a Prefect level as you can see, well, in theory anyway".
Tadao saw that the badge on Owen's jacket read "Pencilhead" instead of "Prefect". He seemed a little unaware of this.
"I'll believe you don't know the meaning of the word 'meme' when the Pope converts to Pastafarian" said Owen, dryly. "Now you two come and clean up your mess or else mom's going to have a fit"
Lan and Luke sighed, supposing their shenanigans were over.
"Alrighty, boys, we'll leave you alone for a while so you can bond for a bit" Luke said. "See ya round" and he and Lan left the compartment. "Say, Lan, do you think we'll get partners this year?"
"Well, I certainly am" said Lan. "You know what? Bugger it. I'm gonna ask Kon-Chan to be my partner"
"...Digimon can't be partners with each other, Lan, you dingleberry-" their voices finally faded as they moved away. Brad looked slowly at Tadao with an apologetic expression. Tadao smiled a little back.
"So... we're partners are we?" Tadao asked. "Is that digimon speak for friends?"
"Well... yeah. I guess so, man" Brad said, giving a little smile in return. "You, me and that digivice. I bet somethin' good will happen out of that, maybe?"
Tadao nodded. Well, Raion did say he'd get a digimon partner if he came here. Perhaps this was what it was all about? He brought some snacks for the two of them as their journey went onward.
Since he was a boy, he felt... somewhat different to others. He had abilities that nobody else in his class had... such as... having a digivice. And well, that was it really. But apparently that meant something extremely vital.
And he soon found out exactly what. For one stormy night as he was studying for a university entrance exam, a giant hairy figure burst into his room. Tadao yelled with horror as it approached... and then, amazing flashing lights and glitter shone everywhere as the figure revealed himself to be a giant lion man wearing a Sailor Senshi outfit.
"Yer a wizard, Tadao!" he said.
"...EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" Tadao shouted.
"Oh. Well... I just uh was here to give a message to yeh from Professor Jyureimon is all" the lion man said in a gruff voice, still sparkling with stardust. "Anyway, I'm Raion, Keeper o' keys at File Island School of Digimoncraft and Child Soldiery- I MEAN- Magical Adventury"
He tried to distract him with glitter and rainbows. Tadao wasn't buying it.
"You want me to be a child soldier" he repeated blankly.
"Well, I don't personally, I'm just here following orders is all" Raion huffed. "So do you wanna come or not?"
"You know this would have been a much funnier joke if you came in and pretended to be the tooth fairy" said Tadao, blankly.
"You get yer free digimon partner" Raion said, sweatdropping as he realized he was probably failing. "Come on, it's better than mopin' around 'ere all day"
Tadao sighed, relenting, supposing the idea of a 'digimon partner' might not be too bad. It wasn't like he enjoyed life here at home with his demanding parents and no siblings or friends.
"Sure, why not?" he had said, and following that, was whisked off to the train station and boarded this train to wherever File Island was.
Tadao was distracted by a knock at the door. And he blinked as he saw what looked like a child-sized grey and white teddy bear wearing a baseball cap blinking at him.
"Uh, hey, can I sit in here, man?" he asked, speaking in a casual friendly sort of ebonics-like voice.
"Yeah, you can" Tadao said, curious about the creature. He looked kind of cute. Not as startling as Raion was at all. The teddybear kid grinned and sat down opposite him.
"Thanks, yo" he said. "My name's Brad. What's yours dawg?"
Tadao was at first a little unnerved at how he was being so friendly. It wasn't something he was used to at home, that was for sure.
"It's, uh, Tadao" he said. "Tadao Asahina"
For some reason, these words caused Brad's eyes to widen. Tadao wondered why. Did Brad know him? Then the teddy bear kid leaned forward.
"Say, uh, Tadao... do you have a digivice?"
Tadao reached into his pocket. Indeed he did, a little trinket he'd had for quite a while. And, as he did so, it seemed to glow. Slightly at first, then brighter and brighter, until finally, the digivice seemed to transform from its original form of a weird blank magenta thing into a bright blue-white device with strange runes on it.
"Oho! What's this?! Little Braddon's got a partner?!"
Tadao jumped slightly as the door opened. And into the compartment appeared two other creatures. One was a red rabbit and the other was a white lion. Brad looked a bit uncomfortable.
"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Braddon's Partner" said the red rabbit, extending his paw. "I'm Luke and this is Lan Beazley. We're Brad's older brothers see?"
"I can see the family resemblance" said Tadao. The three of them were talking animals after all. Luke laughed. "I'm Tadao. Wait, what do you mean partners? I only showed him my digivice..."
"And the digivice reacted didn't it?" Lan said, brightly. "Nice going, Brad, before you even arrived on the island, mate"
"Er... right..." Brad said, a little withdrawn from this sudden event. Tadao was getting a little exasperated when another talking animal poked his head in.
"Lan, Luke, here you are" said a blue and white dog creature that was taller than the lot of them. "Were you the ones that set off the 2013 Meme Bomb in the third carriage? You have every single person in there doing the Harlem Shake"
"Ohoho, dear brother, what in the world makes you think we're capable of that?" asked Luke. "We don't know the meaning of the word meme"
"This is our elder brother, Owen" Lan explained to Tadao. "He's a Prefect level as you can see, well, in theory anyway".
Tadao saw that the badge on Owen's jacket read "Pencilhead" instead of "Prefect". He seemed a little unaware of this.
"I'll believe you don't know the meaning of the word 'meme' when the Pope converts to Pastafarian" said Owen, dryly. "Now you two come and clean up your mess or else mom's going to have a fit"
Lan and Luke sighed, supposing their shenanigans were over.
"Alrighty, boys, we'll leave you alone for a while so you can bond for a bit" Luke said. "See ya round" and he and Lan left the compartment. "Say, Lan, do you think we'll get partners this year?"
"Well, I certainly am" said Lan. "You know what? Bugger it. I'm gonna ask Kon-Chan to be my partner"
"...Digimon can't be partners with each other, Lan, you dingleberry-" their voices finally faded as they moved away. Brad looked slowly at Tadao with an apologetic expression. Tadao smiled a little back.
"So... we're partners are we?" Tadao asked. "Is that digimon speak for friends?"
"Well... yeah. I guess so, man" Brad said, giving a little smile in return. "You, me and that digivice. I bet somethin' good will happen out of that, maybe?"
Tadao nodded. Well, Raion did say he'd get a digimon partner if he came here. Perhaps this was what it was all about? He brought some snacks for the two of them as their journey went onward.
Oh boy, however did Colin get into this mess? One moment he was about to show his digivice to the others in his train compartment, and the next... it turned out he was missing it. Great. Just great. However would he explain it when Professor Jyureimon would send him back home for not having it?
He could picture it now, the disappointment in Aunt Irma's face as she berated him for bringing dishonour to the family, probably yelling at the hatstand because she was too drunk on whiskey to distinguish it from him. But oh it would be just terrible. He had been so looking forward to becoming a chosen, but alas, it seemed it would be all for nothing.
Fortunately, he met a helpful girl quite quickly who asked him what's wrong?
"I... I lost my digivice" Colin said, in a trembling voice.
"Well then, let's go around and ask if anyone's found it" she said. "Are you sure you had it when you boarded the train?"
Colin nodded. And so he followed her while she peeked inside other compartments and asked their occupants, mainly because he was a little too nervous to do it himself. Eventually, they came to one occupied by two.
"Excuse me, has anyone seen a spare digivice?" Rei asked the boy and the teddybear kid in the compartment. She then saw that the boy was holding one. "Oh? You two have already bonded?" she asked, brightly. "Well done, it's great to see you managed it on the train. I'm Reika but you can call me Rei. Anyway, I've got my partner. His name is Kappy and he's currently, er, stuck doing memes, telling people to 'inhale' or whatever. He seems nice otherwise. So I see your partner is a Bearmon, very nice. I've already read the information on all digimon in my digivice database. Do you know how to digivolve him?"
"...Hello" said Colin, thinking it might be best to put that word in somewhere now that she had stopped for breath. "I'm, Colin James... I think I've lost my digivice"
"Yes, hello" said Rei, impatiently.
"I'm Brad, this is Tadao, yeah" the teddybear kid said, in a friendly manner. "Anyway, uh, sorry, just the one digivice in here by the looks of it. And uh... no I don't think I can digivolve yet"
"Ah, drat, I was hoping someone could demonstrate it to me" said Rei. "Oh well. I'll continue looking"
She left the compartment. Colin thought to follow her, but the boy called Tadao spoke.
"Hey, you can sit down in here if you want. Maybe someone's going around looking for who it belongs to?" he suggested.
"Um, thanks" said Colin, smiling, glad to oblige. If he was going to be sent home, at least he might try to make some friends. "So... you both are new to File Island too are you?"
"Seems like it, man" said Brad, munching on a stupidly impractical snack. "Wonder what house we'll end up in?"
"...there's houses?" Tadao asked, surprised at that knowledge.
"Yep, there's Braveheart, Nerdypants, Evilgits and Jigglypuff" said Brad. "All my family ended up in Braveheart. I bet I'll be picked for that. Basically what happens, you sit on a chair, then some big test happens where something looks deep into your soul. And depending on if you're brave, nerdy or evil, you get sorted into those houses"
"Right" Tadao said, gulping. "...And what about Jigglypuff?"
"That happens if the sorter looks deep into your soul... and is not impressed" said Colin, hearing this from Aunt Irma. She was a Jigglypuff after all. "I bet I'll end up in there"
"Aw don't worry, man, I'm sure you'll be okay" Brad said, patting his knee. They then looked up as another individual entered the apartment.
"Well well well, if it isn't Potter the famous bastard" said a green monkey digimon, who had a sneer on his face and was wearing a t-shirt that read "Designated Evil Git Rival #1". Colin wondered if that was a prank by the same individual that had turned the Prefect level's badge into "Pencilhead".
"No, it isn't" said Tadao, evenly.
"...oh" said the Monkey, evidently the wind falling from his sails a little. "Well! I'm Rhys Mailboy, and I'm breaking character to be this because I'm blonde in my champion forms. Now, Tadao. I am... racist, I despise Braveheart, and beastmen-" Brad scowled at this. "And my parents worked for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?"
"Er..." Tadao said, hesitantly. Colin then noticed something in the monkey's paw.
"Hey, that's my digivice" he said. "Can you please give it back?"
"Hm? Oh, right. I was just borrowing it to test if I could digivolve myself. Evidently not..." he tossed it through the air to Colin. He thought he was being a bit of a jerk, but was glad he did that. "Anyway, I'll just see if there's any Evilgit peeps I can lodge in on-"
"Hey, hang on" Brad said, quickly. "The digivice is glowing!"
"What?" the monkey digimon asked. And before their eyes, the digivice shone brightly. The monkey gasped and flinched, shielding his face from the light as though it was hurting him.
"Noo-! My evil smugness! I'm becoming... nothing! Noo!" and before long, it was over. His evilness had been replaced with a blank expression. "Hello yes I am Rhys. It seems we are partners"
"Well... that was weird" said Brad, munching more on his snack.
"That's what she said" said Rhys. Brad snickered. Whatever the digivice had done to him, he liked it evidently.
Soon the train pulled into a station in the middle of nowhere, and the four of them disembarked.
He could picture it now, the disappointment in Aunt Irma's face as she berated him for bringing dishonour to the family, probably yelling at the hatstand because she was too drunk on whiskey to distinguish it from him. But oh it would be just terrible. He had been so looking forward to becoming a chosen, but alas, it seemed it would be all for nothing.
Fortunately, he met a helpful girl quite quickly who asked him what's wrong?
"I... I lost my digivice" Colin said, in a trembling voice.
"Well then, let's go around and ask if anyone's found it" she said. "Are you sure you had it when you boarded the train?"
Colin nodded. And so he followed her while she peeked inside other compartments and asked their occupants, mainly because he was a little too nervous to do it himself. Eventually, they came to one occupied by two.
"Excuse me, has anyone seen a spare digivice?" Rei asked the boy and the teddybear kid in the compartment. She then saw that the boy was holding one. "Oh? You two have already bonded?" she asked, brightly. "Well done, it's great to see you managed it on the train. I'm Reika but you can call me Rei. Anyway, I've got my partner. His name is Kappy and he's currently, er, stuck doing memes, telling people to 'inhale' or whatever. He seems nice otherwise. So I see your partner is a Bearmon, very nice. I've already read the information on all digimon in my digivice database. Do you know how to digivolve him?"
"...Hello" said Colin, thinking it might be best to put that word in somewhere now that she had stopped for breath. "I'm, Colin James... I think I've lost my digivice"
"Yes, hello" said Rei, impatiently.
"I'm Brad, this is Tadao, yeah" the teddybear kid said, in a friendly manner. "Anyway, uh, sorry, just the one digivice in here by the looks of it. And uh... no I don't think I can digivolve yet"
"Ah, drat, I was hoping someone could demonstrate it to me" said Rei. "Oh well. I'll continue looking"
She left the compartment. Colin thought to follow her, but the boy called Tadao spoke.
"Hey, you can sit down in here if you want. Maybe someone's going around looking for who it belongs to?" he suggested.
"Um, thanks" said Colin, smiling, glad to oblige. If he was going to be sent home, at least he might try to make some friends. "So... you both are new to File Island too are you?"
"Seems like it, man" said Brad, munching on a stupidly impractical snack. "Wonder what house we'll end up in?"
"...there's houses?" Tadao asked, surprised at that knowledge.
"Yep, there's Braveheart, Nerdypants, Evilgits and Jigglypuff" said Brad. "All my family ended up in Braveheart. I bet I'll be picked for that. Basically what happens, you sit on a chair, then some big test happens where something looks deep into your soul. And depending on if you're brave, nerdy or evil, you get sorted into those houses"
"Right" Tadao said, gulping. "...And what about Jigglypuff?"
"That happens if the sorter looks deep into your soul... and is not impressed" said Colin, hearing this from Aunt Irma. She was a Jigglypuff after all. "I bet I'll end up in there"
"Aw don't worry, man, I'm sure you'll be okay" Brad said, patting his knee. They then looked up as another individual entered the apartment.
"Well well well, if it isn't Potter the famous bastard" said a green monkey digimon, who had a sneer on his face and was wearing a t-shirt that read "Designated Evil Git Rival #1". Colin wondered if that was a prank by the same individual that had turned the Prefect level's badge into "Pencilhead".
"No, it isn't" said Tadao, evenly.
"...oh" said the Monkey, evidently the wind falling from his sails a little. "Well! I'm Rhys Mailboy, and I'm breaking character to be this because I'm blonde in my champion forms. Now, Tadao. I am... racist, I despise Braveheart, and beastmen-" Brad scowled at this. "And my parents worked for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?"
"Er..." Tadao said, hesitantly. Colin then noticed something in the monkey's paw.
"Hey, that's my digivice" he said. "Can you please give it back?"
"Hm? Oh, right. I was just borrowing it to test if I could digivolve myself. Evidently not..." he tossed it through the air to Colin. He thought he was being a bit of a jerk, but was glad he did that. "Anyway, I'll just see if there's any Evilgit peeps I can lodge in on-"
"Hey, hang on" Brad said, quickly. "The digivice is glowing!"
"What?" the monkey digimon asked. And before their eyes, the digivice shone brightly. The monkey gasped and flinched, shielding his face from the light as though it was hurting him.
"Noo-! My evil smugness! I'm becoming... nothing! Noo!" and before long, it was over. His evilness had been replaced with a blank expression. "Hello yes I am Rhys. It seems we are partners"
"Well... that was weird" said Brad, munching more on his snack.
"That's what she said" said Rhys. Brad snickered. Whatever the digivice had done to him, he liked it evidently.
Soon the train pulled into a station in the middle of nowhere, and the four of them disembarked.
Tadao was wondering exactly what this new 'school' was going to be about. He was happy that he had made a few friends on the train. Brad was at his side, as was Colin and Rhys. But as he was about to follow Brad's brothers, a gruff voice rang out.
"Newbies this way!"
It sounded familiar. And sure enough, Tadao saw Raion once again. The lion man grinned at him.
"There you are, Tadao" he said. "Now come on, newbies this way, you're gonna go another way into the school"
"You know that guy?" Brad asked Tadao, blinking with a somewhat stupefied expression as he beheld the fabulously dressed SailorLeomon.
"Yeah, he told me I was a wizard or something" Tadao said. Brad blinked again, then shrugged.
"Yep, that's Raion alright" Brad's brother Luke said, grinning. "He's half giant actually"
"How do you know?" Brad asked him.
"...you don't want to know" said Lantis. "Anyway, see ya around, kids"
The newbies were led off toward the Lake, where an assortment of boats was waiting for them. They boarded and were soon making their way across, toward a large castle. Tadao and Brad gasped with amazement as they saw it, the many lights inside making for a spectacular sight in the night sky. Eventually, the boats landed within a large gate that appeared to lead to the castle dungeons.
"The boats are all powered by magic of course" said Rei to whoever was listening. "I read it in a book"
"Hmph. Books are weak" said a Hawkmon that Tadao knew as Ankh. "The strong beat the weak, that's a way of life you know"
"Inhale my wand enragement bird" said Rei's partner Kappy Kapboy.
"Make me" Ankh snapped back.
"Settle down there" Raion said. "Anyways, you're about to get sorted into yer houses! Now don't be worried. Wait until your name is called, then sit down at the table. With any luck you'll end up in my old house, Braveheart, eheh... but I suppose I shouldn't pick favourites"
"How exactly are we going to be sorted?" Rhys asked.
"A talking hat says so" said Rei.
"...seriously?" Brad asked, raising an eyebrow. Tadao agreed, but, eh, it wasn't the weirdest thing he had seen here. Eventually, they were led into the great hall, currently filled with humans and digimon. And sure enough, they were shown a hat. It was wholly unremarkable. And then, Tadao heard his name read out first.
"Huh? Me?" Tadao asked, startled. Then he remembered his surname ended with "A". Oh, okay, that made sense. He walked up to the hat and put it on. And was promptly sorted into Braveheart, along with all of the plot important characters. The line of newbies dwindled until everyone was seated at a table.
"What happens next?" Tadao asked Owen, who he and Brad were sitting next to.
"We eat of course" said Owen. His "Prefect" badge now read "Pingas". Lantis and Luke were tittering about it. And so they dug in to their feast.
"So where's old man Jyureimon?" Brad asked, curiously. He looked up at the staff table. There was Raion of course, a strange pale blue devil creature, a small purple individual wearing a red scarf, a blue and white dragon with a sword, and a white wolf digimon. Tadao wondered if any of them were him.
"Hmm. I'm not sure" Owen said. "He should be around..."
Just then, their attention was drawn to the door to the hall. And Tadao saw a giant walking tree seemingly attempting to come in. But unfortunately he was too big to fit through the doors.
"Oh dag nabbit! I told Filth to make these doors bigger!" he snapped.
"Do you need help, Professor?" Owen asked, offering his assistance.
"What's that, Billy?" the tree digimon asked.
"My name is Owen, professor" said Owen.
"Oh. Well, not much we can do here, Billy, so I'll just do the wretched speech here. Attention, students!"
Everyone turned to the entrance, paying attention. Tadao thought it was kind of a silly sight. But oh well, he'd roll with it.
"Welcome to another year on the island!" said the tree. "I am Jyureimon, your headmaster, and here we're going to teach the hell out of you kids in how to fight the villainous forces of CaptainHookmon!"
"Who's that?" Tadao asked Owen.
"You seriously don't know?" Owen asked, eyebrows raised. "He's the worst digimon ever... apparently. He's evil and such. There's not much that we know about him though"
Tadao nodded. That individual did sound ominous. Jyureimon continued his talk.
"But it's not all work and no play for you kids! Why not try out for the Bidditch teams? It's a great way to get yourselves maimed, I mean, points for your houses! And let's hope that the bunch of CaptainHookmon sympathisers in Evilgit house get wrecked this year! Yes you heard me. I swear if the board of directors on this island didn't force me not to I'd incinerate the lot of you!" he told Evilgit house. They sneered, making evil faces.
"How come that house is allowed?" Tadao asked Owen. "Also, what's Bidditch?"
"Eh, it's just easier to see who the evil ones are" Owen shrugged.
"And Bidditch is the best thing ever!" Luke said, cheerfully. "It involves two teams of seven players that fly around on broomsticks. Three players on each try to get this big ball through rings, trying to get past the goalkeeper. Meanwhile they have to fly to avoid these cast iron balls that chase the players and try to knock them out of the air, they're mostly sent around by two more players"
"And of course there's the last player who has to chase the little flying golden ball" Lan added. "If they do that, they win the game"
"...what's the point of all the other players if just one ends up winning the game?" Tadao asked, blankly.
"Well... it's..." Luke seemed at a loss for words. "Huh. You have a point there. It does seem a bit stupid"
"So anyway, let's all head off to bed and get ready for classes tomorrow!" Jyureimon said. And with that, everyone headed off toward bed. Tadao and Brad watched with bemused expressions as Jyureimon grumbled and struggled up the stairs, saying he was too old for this crap. But eventually, they made their way up to the tower where their dormitory was, and prepared for sleep.
"Newbies this way!"
It sounded familiar. And sure enough, Tadao saw Raion once again. The lion man grinned at him.
"There you are, Tadao" he said. "Now come on, newbies this way, you're gonna go another way into the school"
"You know that guy?" Brad asked Tadao, blinking with a somewhat stupefied expression as he beheld the fabulously dressed SailorLeomon.
"Yeah, he told me I was a wizard or something" Tadao said. Brad blinked again, then shrugged.
"Yep, that's Raion alright" Brad's brother Luke said, grinning. "He's half giant actually"
"How do you know?" Brad asked him.
"...you don't want to know" said Lantis. "Anyway, see ya around, kids"
The newbies were led off toward the Lake, where an assortment of boats was waiting for them. They boarded and were soon making their way across, toward a large castle. Tadao and Brad gasped with amazement as they saw it, the many lights inside making for a spectacular sight in the night sky. Eventually, the boats landed within a large gate that appeared to lead to the castle dungeons.
"The boats are all powered by magic of course" said Rei to whoever was listening. "I read it in a book"
"Hmph. Books are weak" said a Hawkmon that Tadao knew as Ankh. "The strong beat the weak, that's a way of life you know"
"Inhale my wand enragement bird" said Rei's partner Kappy Kapboy.
"Make me" Ankh snapped back.
"Settle down there" Raion said. "Anyways, you're about to get sorted into yer houses! Now don't be worried. Wait until your name is called, then sit down at the table. With any luck you'll end up in my old house, Braveheart, eheh... but I suppose I shouldn't pick favourites"
"How exactly are we going to be sorted?" Rhys asked.
"A talking hat says so" said Rei.
"...seriously?" Brad asked, raising an eyebrow. Tadao agreed, but, eh, it wasn't the weirdest thing he had seen here. Eventually, they were led into the great hall, currently filled with humans and digimon. And sure enough, they were shown a hat. It was wholly unremarkable. And then, Tadao heard his name read out first.
"Huh? Me?" Tadao asked, startled. Then he remembered his surname ended with "A". Oh, okay, that made sense. He walked up to the hat and put it on. And was promptly sorted into Braveheart, along with all of the plot important characters. The line of newbies dwindled until everyone was seated at a table.
"What happens next?" Tadao asked Owen, who he and Brad were sitting next to.
"We eat of course" said Owen. His "Prefect" badge now read "Pingas". Lantis and Luke were tittering about it. And so they dug in to their feast.
"So where's old man Jyureimon?" Brad asked, curiously. He looked up at the staff table. There was Raion of course, a strange pale blue devil creature, a small purple individual wearing a red scarf, a blue and white dragon with a sword, and a white wolf digimon. Tadao wondered if any of them were him.
"Hmm. I'm not sure" Owen said. "He should be around..."
Just then, their attention was drawn to the door to the hall. And Tadao saw a giant walking tree seemingly attempting to come in. But unfortunately he was too big to fit through the doors.
"Oh dag nabbit! I told Filth to make these doors bigger!" he snapped.
"Do you need help, Professor?" Owen asked, offering his assistance.
"What's that, Billy?" the tree digimon asked.
"My name is Owen, professor" said Owen.
"Oh. Well, not much we can do here, Billy, so I'll just do the wretched speech here. Attention, students!"
Everyone turned to the entrance, paying attention. Tadao thought it was kind of a silly sight. But oh well, he'd roll with it.
"Welcome to another year on the island!" said the tree. "I am Jyureimon, your headmaster, and here we're going to teach the hell out of you kids in how to fight the villainous forces of CaptainHookmon!"
"Who's that?" Tadao asked Owen.
"You seriously don't know?" Owen asked, eyebrows raised. "He's the worst digimon ever... apparently. He's evil and such. There's not much that we know about him though"
Tadao nodded. That individual did sound ominous. Jyureimon continued his talk.
"But it's not all work and no play for you kids! Why not try out for the Bidditch teams? It's a great way to get yourselves maimed, I mean, points for your houses! And let's hope that the bunch of CaptainHookmon sympathisers in Evilgit house get wrecked this year! Yes you heard me. I swear if the board of directors on this island didn't force me not to I'd incinerate the lot of you!" he told Evilgit house. They sneered, making evil faces.
"How come that house is allowed?" Tadao asked Owen. "Also, what's Bidditch?"
"Eh, it's just easier to see who the evil ones are" Owen shrugged.
"And Bidditch is the best thing ever!" Luke said, cheerfully. "It involves two teams of seven players that fly around on broomsticks. Three players on each try to get this big ball through rings, trying to get past the goalkeeper. Meanwhile they have to fly to avoid these cast iron balls that chase the players and try to knock them out of the air, they're mostly sent around by two more players"
"And of course there's the last player who has to chase the little flying golden ball" Lan added. "If they do that, they win the game"
"...what's the point of all the other players if just one ends up winning the game?" Tadao asked, blankly.
"Well... it's..." Luke seemed at a loss for words. "Huh. You have a point there. It does seem a bit stupid"
"So anyway, let's all head off to bed and get ready for classes tomorrow!" Jyureimon said. And with that, everyone headed off toward bed. Tadao and Brad watched with bemused expressions as Jyureimon grumbled and struggled up the stairs, saying he was too old for this crap. But eventually, they made their way up to the tower where their dormitory was, and prepared for sleep.
Well, what an interesting turn of events that was. Colin wasn't expecting to be sorted into Braveheart house. Nor was he expecting that his digimon partner would be a recently purified little git that had stolen his digivice on the train.
Fortunately, Rhys was turning out to be a neat sort of partner. Yes he did seem a little braindead now that the hamminess and over the top villainy had been purified out from him. But he worked hard in their classes and was for the most part nice to have around.
Colin's first day of classes was rather interesting. First up was the study of Support Abilities, headed by little Professor Voughn.
"Now pay attention everyone" the Impmon said, standing on top of a pile of books. "We're going to be attempting to use simple supporting abilities today. Now. We're going to attempt to use Levitation. Not everyone can do it, but, it's the effort that counts. So, everyone get your digimon partners ready, and have them say their technique names. Begin"
There was a little bit of confusion about how this was going to go about. Colin looked at Rhys, who blinked back at him.
"I am unsure of how I am meant to levitate" Rhys said. All the Koemon had on him was his crossbow and toga.
"Well, try a support technique anyway?" Colin asked. Rhys shrugged and attempted so. Meanwhile Colin overheard Rei standing behind him, trying to educate her digimon partner.
"No, Kappy, it's Levioooosa, not Leviosaaa" she said impatiently.
"Jesmon christ mode woman, I am meant to be the digimon partner of this duo" Kappy said, angrily. "I can name my own attacks thank you very much"
"She's wearing the pants though, yo" Brad said, grinning.
"I had pants. Once" said Kappy, irritably. "And I don't see why I should levitate when generally engaging my stick shall suffice"
Colin paid attention back to Rhys. The Koemon seemed to at last figure out something.
"Tactical Recuperation" he said, and at once, a bright green and blue light spiralled around him. "I feel esoteric" he said, managing a small smile.
"Well, eh, it's something" Professor Voughn shrugged.
Following this class, was one that Colin was somewhat excited about. He had heard nice things about the Defense against Evil teacher, Professor Strabs. How he was generally fun, although he seemed to have a trigger for all things evil. Thankfully he didn't teach House Evilgit.
Colin and Rhys followed everyone else into the classroom, wondering what their first class would be like. Eventually, when everyone was seated, an individual strode into the room, closing the shutters on the windows with waves of his hand. He eventually stood in front of the class, revealing his form as the pale blue, tall, skinny devil digimon that Colin had seen at the welcoming feast.
"Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four" said the devil digimon, coldly. Colin exchanged glances with Tadao. This was unusual. Colin felt the need to ask what was going on.
"Excuse me, sir, where's Professer Strabs?" Colin asked. "I thought he was going to be our teacher for this class"
"That does not concern you, Mr. James. And if you must know, Professor Strabs is unable to attend this class, so therefore it falls upon me, Professor Dio Bowie to attempt to instruct you naive simpletons on the exact science of Defense against Evil"
Colin noticed that the Professor seemed to sparkle a little as he spoke. Which was... odd. Only Raion had done that so far. Perhaps more than one staff member did that here? The Professor strode down the middle of the classroom, speaking to the wall, but made sure that none of them missed a word.
"It is not you that I blame for this woeful state of affairs with whom I am to teach in here" he said. "But it only seems to be the policy of our esteemed Professor Jyureimon that we simply cart children and baby digimon onto a train here and fill their minds with the ways of war, I said turn to page three hundred and ninety four, Mr. Beazley!" he suddenly flicked his hand, and Brad gave a yelp as his book suddenly turned to the correct page.
"Why does he do that, Professor?" Colin asked.
"Firstly, I do not presume to know the reasoning that occurs within our Cherrywood headmaster's sad mind, and secondly, five thousand points will be taken from Braveheart house for your interruptions, Mr. James, do not tempt me to deduct more" said IceDevimon. Everyone gave noises of disgust at how unfair this was.
Next to raise their hand was Rei. IceDevimon looked at her wearily. "Yes, what is it Miss Aizawa?"
"Professor... the page on the textbook. It says... humans are the ultimate evil. Is this what we're supposed to be studying?"
"Are you refuting this fact, Miss Aizawa?" IceDevimon asked, his lips curling into a smile.
"Well... not all humans are evil, professor" Tadao said. There were murmurs of agreement throughout the classroom.
"Oh yes, I'm certain there's a shard of goodness within you humans somewhere..." the Professor drawled sarcastically. "I imagine in your maldeveloped little minds that writing your names and a few words in a card occasionally and going through the considerable "effort" to make an emoji on a distant acquaintance's facebook account makes up for the fact that the thing that drives you as a race the most is the pursuit of finding new and exciting ways to kill each other or exploit the world around you"
Colin thought this was a very unfair lecture. But he didn't want to lose more house points, so he remained in a sullen silence.
"It's bad enough the things you have done to your own world, now it seems your influence is spreading to this world. Hmph, no matter, I'm sure our esteemed headmaster has reasons to have you all here"
"But professor, digimon can be pretty evil too can't they?" Tadao asked. "I mean, what about CaptainHookmon?"
"Continue to speak out of turns about things which you know nothing about, Mr. Asahina and you will receive detention" said IceDevimon. "For homework, you will all write a two page essay on the extent of human warfare in the 20th century to be handed in on Thursday"
There were noises of outrage about this. Professor Bowie quickly silenced them and began his lecture on how humans were all horrible.
Class couldn't have ended soon enough. Colin felt relieved when he left it.
"Hm. I don't really like the way that guy spoke" he said to his friends as he left.
"Yeah, man, I don't like the vibes of that guy" Brad said, agreeing.
"Perhaps there is more to him than there seems?" Rhys suggested. "There may be something about him that we can report? He definitely has the air of one who has a few mangled digicores in his closet"
"Yeah, that glitter around him gives a real closet vibe" Brad agreed. Colin snickered but hushed him, that wasn't the sort of thing that they wanted him to overhear. And speaking of the devil himself, IceDevimon emerged from the classroom, glowering at them.
"Page three hundred and ninety four" he said, curtly, then strode off.
With that, they continued onward through their curriculum to more pleasant classes.
Fortunately, Rhys was turning out to be a neat sort of partner. Yes he did seem a little braindead now that the hamminess and over the top villainy had been purified out from him. But he worked hard in their classes and was for the most part nice to have around.
Colin's first day of classes was rather interesting. First up was the study of Support Abilities, headed by little Professor Voughn.
"Now pay attention everyone" the Impmon said, standing on top of a pile of books. "We're going to be attempting to use simple supporting abilities today. Now. We're going to attempt to use Levitation. Not everyone can do it, but, it's the effort that counts. So, everyone get your digimon partners ready, and have them say their technique names. Begin"
There was a little bit of confusion about how this was going to go about. Colin looked at Rhys, who blinked back at him.
"I am unsure of how I am meant to levitate" Rhys said. All the Koemon had on him was his crossbow and toga.
"Well, try a support technique anyway?" Colin asked. Rhys shrugged and attempted so. Meanwhile Colin overheard Rei standing behind him, trying to educate her digimon partner.
"No, Kappy, it's Levioooosa, not Leviosaaa" she said impatiently.
"Jesmon christ mode woman, I am meant to be the digimon partner of this duo" Kappy said, angrily. "I can name my own attacks thank you very much"
"She's wearing the pants though, yo" Brad said, grinning.
"I had pants. Once" said Kappy, irritably. "And I don't see why I should levitate when generally engaging my stick shall suffice"
Colin paid attention back to Rhys. The Koemon seemed to at last figure out something.
"Tactical Recuperation" he said, and at once, a bright green and blue light spiralled around him. "I feel esoteric" he said, managing a small smile.
"Well, eh, it's something" Professor Voughn shrugged.
Following this class, was one that Colin was somewhat excited about. He had heard nice things about the Defense against Evil teacher, Professor Strabs. How he was generally fun, although he seemed to have a trigger for all things evil. Thankfully he didn't teach House Evilgit.
Colin and Rhys followed everyone else into the classroom, wondering what their first class would be like. Eventually, when everyone was seated, an individual strode into the room, closing the shutters on the windows with waves of his hand. He eventually stood in front of the class, revealing his form as the pale blue, tall, skinny devil digimon that Colin had seen at the welcoming feast.
"Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four" said the devil digimon, coldly. Colin exchanged glances with Tadao. This was unusual. Colin felt the need to ask what was going on.
"Excuse me, sir, where's Professer Strabs?" Colin asked. "I thought he was going to be our teacher for this class"
"That does not concern you, Mr. James. And if you must know, Professor Strabs is unable to attend this class, so therefore it falls upon me, Professor Dio Bowie to attempt to instruct you naive simpletons on the exact science of Defense against Evil"
Colin noticed that the Professor seemed to sparkle a little as he spoke. Which was... odd. Only Raion had done that so far. Perhaps more than one staff member did that here? The Professor strode down the middle of the classroom, speaking to the wall, but made sure that none of them missed a word.
"It is not you that I blame for this woeful state of affairs with whom I am to teach in here" he said. "But it only seems to be the policy of our esteemed Professor Jyureimon that we simply cart children and baby digimon onto a train here and fill their minds with the ways of war, I said turn to page three hundred and ninety four, Mr. Beazley!" he suddenly flicked his hand, and Brad gave a yelp as his book suddenly turned to the correct page.
"Why does he do that, Professor?" Colin asked.
"Firstly, I do not presume to know the reasoning that occurs within our Cherrywood headmaster's sad mind, and secondly, five thousand points will be taken from Braveheart house for your interruptions, Mr. James, do not tempt me to deduct more" said IceDevimon. Everyone gave noises of disgust at how unfair this was.
Next to raise their hand was Rei. IceDevimon looked at her wearily. "Yes, what is it Miss Aizawa?"
"Professor... the page on the textbook. It says... humans are the ultimate evil. Is this what we're supposed to be studying?"
"Are you refuting this fact, Miss Aizawa?" IceDevimon asked, his lips curling into a smile.
"Well... not all humans are evil, professor" Tadao said. There were murmurs of agreement throughout the classroom.
"Oh yes, I'm certain there's a shard of goodness within you humans somewhere..." the Professor drawled sarcastically. "I imagine in your maldeveloped little minds that writing your names and a few words in a card occasionally and going through the considerable "effort" to make an emoji on a distant acquaintance's facebook account makes up for the fact that the thing that drives you as a race the most is the pursuit of finding new and exciting ways to kill each other or exploit the world around you"
Colin thought this was a very unfair lecture. But he didn't want to lose more house points, so he remained in a sullen silence.
"It's bad enough the things you have done to your own world, now it seems your influence is spreading to this world. Hmph, no matter, I'm sure our esteemed headmaster has reasons to have you all here"
"But professor, digimon can be pretty evil too can't they?" Tadao asked. "I mean, what about CaptainHookmon?"
"Continue to speak out of turns about things which you know nothing about, Mr. Asahina and you will receive detention" said IceDevimon. "For homework, you will all write a two page essay on the extent of human warfare in the 20th century to be handed in on Thursday"
There were noises of outrage about this. Professor Bowie quickly silenced them and began his lecture on how humans were all horrible.
Class couldn't have ended soon enough. Colin felt relieved when he left it.
"Hm. I don't really like the way that guy spoke" he said to his friends as he left.
"Yeah, man, I don't like the vibes of that guy" Brad said, agreeing.
"Perhaps there is more to him than there seems?" Rhys suggested. "There may be something about him that we can report? He definitely has the air of one who has a few mangled digicores in his closet"
"Yeah, that glitter around him gives a real closet vibe" Brad agreed. Colin snickered but hushed him, that wasn't the sort of thing that they wanted him to overhear. And speaking of the devil himself, IceDevimon emerged from the classroom, glowering at them.
"Page three hundred and ninety four" he said, curtly, then strode off.
With that, they continued onward through their curriculum to more pleasant classes.
It wasn't long before Tadao and Brad settled in to a routine at this... interesting place. Their teachers would show them a variety of skills to help them 'survive' in this world he had apparently volunteered to be in. Well, it wasn't too bad. Better than the boring garbage he normally had to write in his university preparation tests.
"Well done!" Professor Strabs commended as they had mastered the knowledge of how to combat a dark magical creature... by letting Brad shoot at it repeatedly. "Before long you might just be able to combat the nefarious forces of CaptainHookmon!"
"Professor..." Tadao said, quickly. "Who is CaptainHookmon exactly?"
"Ah, him..." Professor Strabs said, quietly. "Yes, his nefarious presence has loomed over this island for far too long. We've all struggled against him here... for 400 years, give or take. But don't worry, young Tadao. Just keep up at it, and you and your partner will pull through for us when it counts, I'm sure"
Tadao smiled. Strabs was one of his favourite teachers. Much moreso than Professor Bowie the Potions master, who lurked around in his dungeons like a giant frosted bat.
But there was more to life here than lessons. Brad turned out to be quite a talented musician, who spent nights celebrating Bidditch victories with his brothers, singing and playing songs well into the night. And then there were the Bidditch matches themselves. Somehow, they weren't as bad as Tadao thought they'd be. Particularly with the commentary of Lan and Luke's friend Hikaru, who often transferred this amusing commentary to other goings-on around the island.
"And coming up approaching Rei and Kappy is none other than resident island punching bag and all-round annoyance Ankh the Banana-themed... thingy. But it seems he's caught Kappy on a bad day as the dynamite little sword-lizard has just accepted his challenge and- oh my! Spells flying all around here. But what's this? Owen the Fluffiest Prefect in the lands... well, second to only me when I'm a Prefect level, coming along to break up the fighting. But what's this? Kon-Chan the Angry Commandramon coming along to chew everyone out for causing a disturbance in the corridor!"
"What is this rumpus?!" a voice rang out. It was none other than Professor Bowie. Tadao gulped.
"Aw sh*t bro!" Brad gasped.
"...Three hundred and ninety four points from Braveheart for that language, Mr. Bearmon" IceDevimon said, scowling. He turned to Kappy and Ankh. "As for you two, you shall be dragged by your tails to the dungeons, where-"
"Hem hem" said a new voice. All turned their heads to the entrance, where a smiling little blonde digimon in a nun's outfit stood, beaming around pleasantly.
"Can I help you, madam?" asked IceDevimon.
"Oh, no don't mind me" said the new individual, walking around the entrance hall, taking in all the new faces. "In fact, I was wondering if someone could take me to the headmaster? I believe I have an appointment with him. I'm Kyo Jane Sistermon, Ministry Inquisitor"
"Ministry?" asked Professor Fencer, who had just arrived on the scene. "What ministry?"
"Why the Ministry of Minding your own Business, dragon boy" said Sistermon. Fencer folded his arms, raising an eyebrow. "As I was saying I am here on urgent Ministry business-"
"I'm here, Inquisitor" said Jyureimon, appearing at the top of the stairs, looking down at her. "Exactly what is your business here?"
"Well, there you are" said Sistermon, pleasantly. "I am here merely to enforce the Ministry Decree No. 23, which is that, you are to cease your little child soldiery operations at once. And also hand over Professor Meramon Lockhart, as he is a filthy traitor"
"Wut?" Meramon asked, suddenly. Sistermon continued her terms.
"And also you are to die soon after, Professor Jyureimon" she finished.
"Oh yeah? And how are you going to enforce this?" Jyureimon scoffed down at her. Tadao, Brad, Colin and Rhys exchanged worried looks. This was not going to end well.
"Hem hem" said Sistermon again. And all of a sudden, an almighty doomship appeared over the castle.
"Welp, that's it, I'm outta here" said Jyureimon, disapparating.
"Ohoho, dear me" said Sistermon, still speaking in a sickly sweet voice. "It seems that due to Jyureimon's absence, I am now the headmistress of this school. Oh goody, who would have thought?"
At once, multiple staff faculty formed ranks. Professors Strabs, Raion, Val, Yvvy, Blake and Ryu all united forces against her.
"All of you! Run into the dungeons!" Professor Strabs shouted. "These are dark times ahead, so make sure you're ready for the fight when it comes! For great justice!" he digivolved and drew his light sabers.
There was no need for telling twice. As hell broke loose on the castle above, Tadao and his friends ran deep into the dungeons of the castle.
"Gee. It sure is meta around here" remarked Brad.
"Braddon my child, these references are what all true warriors strive for" said Kappy, who was accompanying them with his partner Rei, along with all of the other Braveheart newbies.
"I just wonder what Professor Dio Bowie's up to" Rhys said. Tadao and Brad were jarred out of their bemusement at this familiar routine from that valid question. As a voice screeched out in the darkness from a flying hamster that called them scrubnuggets for stealing her routine, Tadao wondered exactly where that Professor had run off to. Just when they were about to do some snooping around his office as well. Oh well.
Before long, they reached a safe sanctuary in the dungeons. It featured a large stone gate. And within, was a glowing blue shimmering object. It felt warm and... right, somehow. All the digimon felt like they had been here before.
"So what do we do now?" Colin asked, as everyone entered the gate, the stone doors sealing shut behind them.
"We should train while we're waiting" said Tadao, stepping up toward the blue crystal-like object. He didn't dare touch it though. "It's the only way we can hope to face CaptainHookmon. If the castle falls... we'll be wide open to an attack from him"
"Alright, yo" said Brad. "I'm happy to train. That's what a digimon partner's being all about, right?"
"I will be glad to educate you all" said Professor Fencer. "Now... FULL POWER BUFFING TECHNIQUE-"
"Er, don't you think that's a bit drastic for training?" Rhys asked as the dragon man seemed to be charging up an attack blazing with starfire.
"Oh very well then" Fencer said a bit poutily. "I will go easy on you for now"
And so they trained and grinded and readied themselves for the inevitable confrontation.
"Well done!" Professor Strabs commended as they had mastered the knowledge of how to combat a dark magical creature... by letting Brad shoot at it repeatedly. "Before long you might just be able to combat the nefarious forces of CaptainHookmon!"
"Professor..." Tadao said, quickly. "Who is CaptainHookmon exactly?"
"Ah, him..." Professor Strabs said, quietly. "Yes, his nefarious presence has loomed over this island for far too long. We've all struggled against him here... for 400 years, give or take. But don't worry, young Tadao. Just keep up at it, and you and your partner will pull through for us when it counts, I'm sure"
Tadao smiled. Strabs was one of his favourite teachers. Much moreso than Professor Bowie the Potions master, who lurked around in his dungeons like a giant frosted bat.
But there was more to life here than lessons. Brad turned out to be quite a talented musician, who spent nights celebrating Bidditch victories with his brothers, singing and playing songs well into the night. And then there were the Bidditch matches themselves. Somehow, they weren't as bad as Tadao thought they'd be. Particularly with the commentary of Lan and Luke's friend Hikaru, who often transferred this amusing commentary to other goings-on around the island.
"And coming up approaching Rei and Kappy is none other than resident island punching bag and all-round annoyance Ankh the Banana-themed... thingy. But it seems he's caught Kappy on a bad day as the dynamite little sword-lizard has just accepted his challenge and- oh my! Spells flying all around here. But what's this? Owen the Fluffiest Prefect in the lands... well, second to only me when I'm a Prefect level, coming along to break up the fighting. But what's this? Kon-Chan the Angry Commandramon coming along to chew everyone out for causing a disturbance in the corridor!"
"What is this rumpus?!" a voice rang out. It was none other than Professor Bowie. Tadao gulped.
"Aw sh*t bro!" Brad gasped.
"...Three hundred and ninety four points from Braveheart for that language, Mr. Bearmon" IceDevimon said, scowling. He turned to Kappy and Ankh. "As for you two, you shall be dragged by your tails to the dungeons, where-"
"Hem hem" said a new voice. All turned their heads to the entrance, where a smiling little blonde digimon in a nun's outfit stood, beaming around pleasantly.
"Can I help you, madam?" asked IceDevimon.
"Oh, no don't mind me" said the new individual, walking around the entrance hall, taking in all the new faces. "In fact, I was wondering if someone could take me to the headmaster? I believe I have an appointment with him. I'm Kyo Jane Sistermon, Ministry Inquisitor"
"Ministry?" asked Professor Fencer, who had just arrived on the scene. "What ministry?"
"Why the Ministry of Minding your own Business, dragon boy" said Sistermon. Fencer folded his arms, raising an eyebrow. "As I was saying I am here on urgent Ministry business-"
"I'm here, Inquisitor" said Jyureimon, appearing at the top of the stairs, looking down at her. "Exactly what is your business here?"
"Well, there you are" said Sistermon, pleasantly. "I am here merely to enforce the Ministry Decree No. 23, which is that, you are to cease your little child soldiery operations at once. And also hand over Professor Meramon Lockhart, as he is a filthy traitor"
"Wut?" Meramon asked, suddenly. Sistermon continued her terms.
"And also you are to die soon after, Professor Jyureimon" she finished.
"Oh yeah? And how are you going to enforce this?" Jyureimon scoffed down at her. Tadao, Brad, Colin and Rhys exchanged worried looks. This was not going to end well.
"Hem hem" said Sistermon again. And all of a sudden, an almighty doomship appeared over the castle.
"Welp, that's it, I'm outta here" said Jyureimon, disapparating.
"Ohoho, dear me" said Sistermon, still speaking in a sickly sweet voice. "It seems that due to Jyureimon's absence, I am now the headmistress of this school. Oh goody, who would have thought?"
At once, multiple staff faculty formed ranks. Professors Strabs, Raion, Val, Yvvy, Blake and Ryu all united forces against her.
"All of you! Run into the dungeons!" Professor Strabs shouted. "These are dark times ahead, so make sure you're ready for the fight when it comes! For great justice!" he digivolved and drew his light sabers.
There was no need for telling twice. As hell broke loose on the castle above, Tadao and his friends ran deep into the dungeons of the castle.
"Gee. It sure is meta around here" remarked Brad.
"Braddon my child, these references are what all true warriors strive for" said Kappy, who was accompanying them with his partner Rei, along with all of the other Braveheart newbies.
"I just wonder what Professor Dio Bowie's up to" Rhys said. Tadao and Brad were jarred out of their bemusement at this familiar routine from that valid question. As a voice screeched out in the darkness from a flying hamster that called them scrubnuggets for stealing her routine, Tadao wondered exactly where that Professor had run off to. Just when they were about to do some snooping around his office as well. Oh well.
Before long, they reached a safe sanctuary in the dungeons. It featured a large stone gate. And within, was a glowing blue shimmering object. It felt warm and... right, somehow. All the digimon felt like they had been here before.
"So what do we do now?" Colin asked, as everyone entered the gate, the stone doors sealing shut behind them.
"We should train while we're waiting" said Tadao, stepping up toward the blue crystal-like object. He didn't dare touch it though. "It's the only way we can hope to face CaptainHookmon. If the castle falls... we'll be wide open to an attack from him"
"Alright, yo" said Brad. "I'm happy to train. That's what a digimon partner's being all about, right?"
"I will be glad to educate you all" said Professor Fencer. "Now... FULL POWER BUFFING TECHNIQUE-"
"Er, don't you think that's a bit drastic for training?" Rhys asked as the dragon man seemed to be charging up an attack blazing with starfire.
"Oh very well then" Fencer said a bit poutily. "I will go easy on you for now"
And so they trained and grinded and readied themselves for the inevitable confrontation.
For what seemed like many months, the small group of children and digimon trained in the hidden room within the castle. As explosions erupted overhead, shaking stones from the ceiling, they fought hard and trained as hard as they could. Somehow, the blue crystal seemed to fill them with energy every time. They fed from food that seemed to appear from the walls themselves. Soon they lost track of time altogether, knowing little more than waking up, eating, then training until they were too tired to move again.
"Not long now until you're fully maxed out, kids" said Professor Fencer, proudly.
"Er, which professor are you meant to be?" Rhys asked him.
"Moody obviously, minus the eye" said Fencer.
"...the fake one or the real one?" asked Brad. Fencer looked at him silently with a "...really?" expression. Brad lowered his head, a bit embarrassed.
Then, all of a sudden, the gates behind them opened. At once, all of the digimon within the sanctuary stood at the ready, digivolving to their strongest forms while the humans took cover. But fortunately, it seemed that it was only Professor Jyureimon.
"Oh! Thank goodness you're all safe" he said, entering the sanctuary. "There isn't much time. To defeat CaptainHookmon, you must find the seven crests and tags!"
"The what?" Colin asked. "Professor Jyureimon, what's all this about?"
"The crests and tags! They will allow you to obtain the power to finish off CaptainHookmon once and for-" he was interrupted by the appearance of another individual in the sanctuary. None other... than...
"But it was me" said Professor Dio Bowie, the IceDevimon looming tall over them all. He lurked silently around them, looking carefully at Rhys. "I believe you had a mission here, Mr. Mailboy"
"Colin's digivice has purified me" said Rhys, evenly. "I now have no personality. Or mission. Just memes"
"You dirty doppelganger" said Kappy.
"Sheer incompetence. Ten points from House Braveheart" said IceDevimon. "Three hundred and ninety four years I have waited for this moment". He then rushed at Jyureimon. Everyong gasped as his claws smashed through bark and sap, the wooden professor splintering before their every eyes.
"You-" Jyureimon gasped.
"The Lannisters send their regards" said IceDevimon as Jyureimon shattered to data.
"Oh. My god. That's the wrong series quote!" Rei exclaimed. "Honestly it wasn't hard. It's Avada Kedavra! I read it in a book once!"
"He's getting away!" Tadao yelled, as IceDevimon merely turned around and left the sanctuary, flying at high speed. It was all they could do to keep up with him. Up through the twisting dungeon corridors, up into the ruins of the castle that was destroyed in the battle against Sistermon, and there... finally... IceDevimon turned around.
"Oh..." said Colin as he saw who he was with.
"Oh dear" Rhys agreed, counting the opponents.
"F*** my life" said Kappy. Standing in front of them, were Generals Flymon, IceDevimon, Shellmon, and the big bad himself, CaptainHookmon.
"Har! this is what remains of Jyureimon's Army" said CaptainHookmon, sounding quite piratey somewhat not unlike Mr. Krabs even though they were far from the sea. "And so... these are the boys said in the prophecy, eh?"
"Prophecy?" Rhys asked. "Since when was there a blasted prophecy?"
"Since Professor Irma James pulled it out of her behind" said Shellmon.
"I did not pull it out of my behind!" Ms. James the Divination teacher snapped, standing amongst the ruins of the castle. "I tapped into the divine aether and it spoke to me of the happenings yet to come"
"Rubbish, you were high on cooking sherry" said Raion, who miraculously was still around. Irma opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, giving a sigh.
"What's this prophecy about anyway, yo?" Brad asked.
"That I mark one of you boys as my enemy, and that I will never reach my true power as long as you're alive" said CaptainHookmon. "Either Tadao Asahina or Colin James, har har! And at last, all the pieces are aligned on the battlefield! Now, IceDevimon! You overhead the prophecy... who was it?!"
"It was... unclear, as I mentioned to you, sir" said IceDevimon.
"Oh. Well that's a great bugger there isn't it?!" CaptainHookmon said, irritably. "How about I just kill the lot of ye? Sound good?"
"Just hold on a minute there, Captain" said Tadao, raising his digivice. "While we were offscreen, we mastered the use of Liquid Time Travel... And we know your weakness!"
"Oho! Is that so?" asked CaptainHookmon. "And what be this weakness you speak of?!"
"These!" said Tadao, and the lot of them showed their crests and tags. CaptainHookmon laughed.
"Har har! Nice try there, but did you honestly expect to defeat me easily with those?!" he asked. "It'll take a lot more than those to cheapshot me, kiddos!"
And it seemed, that was the start of the great battle of File Island. There were to be no "chosen ones", or "prophecies". It seemed that on this day, everyone would have to earn their happy ending, through hardships and triumphs, death and loss, the final battle thus far remained inconclusive.
"But do not worry, dear reader" Rhys said, with a final thought. "We shall be sure to return to you with a disappointing epilogue that shall launch ship wars and the like afterward. See such endings as Tadao and Brad's identical twin sister getting married..."
"Ew. No" said Tadao, shuddering.
"And Colin marrying Random NPC No. 329, mentioned approximately twice per book" Rhys continued.
"Yay..." Colin said, hesitantly.
"And Kappy naming his children names such as Locutus Zarbon Agis"
"...Don't judge me, monkey" said Kappy.
"So from all of us here, we wish you an inconclusive ending to a half-arsed parody" Rhys said, and they all waved.
The End
"Not long now until you're fully maxed out, kids" said Professor Fencer, proudly.
"Er, which professor are you meant to be?" Rhys asked him.
"Moody obviously, minus the eye" said Fencer.
"...the fake one or the real one?" asked Brad. Fencer looked at him silently with a "...really?" expression. Brad lowered his head, a bit embarrassed.
Then, all of a sudden, the gates behind them opened. At once, all of the digimon within the sanctuary stood at the ready, digivolving to their strongest forms while the humans took cover. But fortunately, it seemed that it was only Professor Jyureimon.
"Oh! Thank goodness you're all safe" he said, entering the sanctuary. "There isn't much time. To defeat CaptainHookmon, you must find the seven crests and tags!"
"The what?" Colin asked. "Professor Jyureimon, what's all this about?"
"The crests and tags! They will allow you to obtain the power to finish off CaptainHookmon once and for-" he was interrupted by the appearance of another individual in the sanctuary. None other... than...
"But it was me" said Professor Dio Bowie, the IceDevimon looming tall over them all. He lurked silently around them, looking carefully at Rhys. "I believe you had a mission here, Mr. Mailboy"
"Colin's digivice has purified me" said Rhys, evenly. "I now have no personality. Or mission. Just memes"
"You dirty doppelganger" said Kappy.
"Sheer incompetence. Ten points from House Braveheart" said IceDevimon. "Three hundred and ninety four years I have waited for this moment". He then rushed at Jyureimon. Everyong gasped as his claws smashed through bark and sap, the wooden professor splintering before their every eyes.
"You-" Jyureimon gasped.
"The Lannisters send their regards" said IceDevimon as Jyureimon shattered to data.
"Oh. My god. That's the wrong series quote!" Rei exclaimed. "Honestly it wasn't hard. It's Avada Kedavra! I read it in a book once!"
"He's getting away!" Tadao yelled, as IceDevimon merely turned around and left the sanctuary, flying at high speed. It was all they could do to keep up with him. Up through the twisting dungeon corridors, up into the ruins of the castle that was destroyed in the battle against Sistermon, and there... finally... IceDevimon turned around.
"Oh..." said Colin as he saw who he was with.
"Oh dear" Rhys agreed, counting the opponents.
"F*** my life" said Kappy. Standing in front of them, were Generals Flymon, IceDevimon, Shellmon, and the big bad himself, CaptainHookmon.
"Har! this is what remains of Jyureimon's Army" said CaptainHookmon, sounding quite piratey somewhat not unlike Mr. Krabs even though they were far from the sea. "And so... these are the boys said in the prophecy, eh?"
"Prophecy?" Rhys asked. "Since when was there a blasted prophecy?"
"Since Professor Irma James pulled it out of her behind" said Shellmon.
"I did not pull it out of my behind!" Ms. James the Divination teacher snapped, standing amongst the ruins of the castle. "I tapped into the divine aether and it spoke to me of the happenings yet to come"
"Rubbish, you were high on cooking sherry" said Raion, who miraculously was still around. Irma opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, giving a sigh.
"What's this prophecy about anyway, yo?" Brad asked.
"That I mark one of you boys as my enemy, and that I will never reach my true power as long as you're alive" said CaptainHookmon. "Either Tadao Asahina or Colin James, har har! And at last, all the pieces are aligned on the battlefield! Now, IceDevimon! You overhead the prophecy... who was it?!"
"It was... unclear, as I mentioned to you, sir" said IceDevimon.
"Oh. Well that's a great bugger there isn't it?!" CaptainHookmon said, irritably. "How about I just kill the lot of ye? Sound good?"
"Just hold on a minute there, Captain" said Tadao, raising his digivice. "While we were offscreen, we mastered the use of Liquid Time Travel... And we know your weakness!"
"Oho! Is that so?" asked CaptainHookmon. "And what be this weakness you speak of?!"
"These!" said Tadao, and the lot of them showed their crests and tags. CaptainHookmon laughed.
"Har har! Nice try there, but did you honestly expect to defeat me easily with those?!" he asked. "It'll take a lot more than those to cheapshot me, kiddos!"
And it seemed, that was the start of the great battle of File Island. There were to be no "chosen ones", or "prophecies". It seemed that on this day, everyone would have to earn their happy ending, through hardships and triumphs, death and loss, the final battle thus far remained inconclusive.
"But do not worry, dear reader" Rhys said, with a final thought. "We shall be sure to return to you with a disappointing epilogue that shall launch ship wars and the like afterward. See such endings as Tadao and Brad's identical twin sister getting married..."
"Ew. No" said Tadao, shuddering.
"And Colin marrying Random NPC No. 329, mentioned approximately twice per book" Rhys continued.
"Yay..." Colin said, hesitantly.
"And Kappy naming his children names such as Locutus Zarbon Agis"
"...Don't judge me, monkey" said Kappy.
"So from all of us here, we wish you an inconclusive ending to a half-arsed parody" Rhys said, and they all waved.
The End
