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Blank Slate [Mei] [Invite]
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Post by Malik on Jul 30, 2019 2:59:12 GMT
Alone. It's very quiet, as usual, save for the happy sounds of the other Digimon playing in the distance. A lone Chocomon stared into space with a blank expression, barely moving at all save for the rare blink. It was impossible to tell what the little one was thinking, which is possibly what unnerved so many of the others. The Chocomon didn't seem to mind it too much, though it was hard to tell. They made no real attempts at communicating with the others and simply watched from afar.
A ball slowly rolled over to him, which made him turn his head towards it. He stared down at it, then at a couple of nervous Digimon approach cautiously. The Chocomon tilted his head a bit and gently nudged the ball back to the Digimon, who picked it up and looked at him for a moment before running back to join the others.
A very small, but clear sigh escaped Chocomon's silent visage. Why did they seem so wary of him? He could not comprehend what was going on. As far as he knew, he's done nothing to earn the distrust of the others. Was he just...strange? Maybe he should attempt to learn how to play whatever it was the others were. But would they explain it to him if they wouldn't even say hello to him?
There was a lot he didn't understand. The loneliness, however, he did understand. It was hurtful and stifling. Though he did not desire to change anything about himself simply to fit in. If they wouldn't accept him for who he was, then what was the point of it?
A lot of the Digimon playing seemed to be Rookie levels, anyway. Maybe it would be too much for him right now, and he didn't want to bother them while they were playing, so he simply sat back and continued watching and learning what he could from where he was.
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Post by Mei on Jul 30, 2019 18:07:34 GMT
Part time job, aren't that part of why she's here? Well, it's mostly on Mei's 'how to make Meicoomons more liked' small project though... The Meicoomon have heard several reasons why the Meicoomons are hated in Digital World and apparently... it was because some dreadful action of one in Village of Beginning? For that reason she suddenly said 'Let's do some social works!' and asked Mei to bring her to an interview with Swanmons. She can tell from their gazes they're not sure what to makes of a Meicoomon who wanted to work on Village of Beginning but here she is...
"Ah, don't pull Mei's feelers please! Mei know they're soft--aw, please don't suck on it--eguh... this is harder than dealing with kittens!"
...Surrounded by babies.
It would have been a warm sight if not for the cautious gazes of the other babysitters. Mei understood this very well... not everyone can accept Meicoomons as easily even if they're as innocent as her partner. Even then that doesn't break her spirit. It's their third day in this place. Of course they gone back to Rosewood when the sun has gone down and returned next morning before the shift started. In these three days, Mei has been quite well known by the babies but the gaze that watched her has yet to soften even a bit.
Well, what can she do anyway? She can't exactly tell these Swanmons to cut it out already... they had all the reasons to be wary of the Meicoomon...
...It's at that time that Mei saw her partner approached a lone Chocomon.
"Hey, are you OK?" Mei the Meicoomon asked. "Are you sick? Hungry? Or is there is something that bothering you? You can tell Mei~"
Well that's a start. Perhaps this child is like her, too? Feared because something that was beyond their control... If that's the case then aren't they some sort of kindred souls?
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Post by Malik on Jul 31, 2019 10:24:24 GMT
While not visibly so, the Chocomon was rather surprised that someone had approached him. Due to his relative isolation and his habit of looking at nothing in particular, he hadn't noticed her before. Though, as soon as he did see her and heard the strangely familiar name, his expressionless facade cracked for the first time. Total fear washed over him as he stammered out what could have possibly been his first words "M-M-Mae...? Mae?" He shivered and shook his head "Mae! Sorry! Sorry! I am...sorry!"
He backed away slightly, but the fear would eventually fade as his breathing returned to normal. There was something different. This wasn't her. "...not her..." he said, voice dull, a complete change from his initial reaction. He tilted his head slightly and got up again "...Don't know...why afraid." He circled around her, not saying much of anything as he tried to figure out what to say. Well, first thing's first, he needed to give her his name. What was it...? For a moment he silently spelled something out to himself, arranging the letters in various ways before he nodded "Name...Malik."
To finally answer Mei's question, he looked over at the other Digimon "...I scare them. Do not know...why. I'm...strange? Don't like...being near me. Don't know...how to be friends." He looked over at Mei again "You approached...why? Others don't."
A hint of regret crossed his features "...maybe I am bad...did something bad. Very very bad." He repeated it under his breath a little bit, looking around a little. "...saw you...remembered someone...don't know who...don't know why. Scared me. Did something wrong."
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Post by Mei on Jul 31, 2019 22:00:03 GMT
...Well this is surprising. Did he mistook her for someone else? Turned out he did. Mei just tilted her head in worried manner as her ears plopped. "Mmmm, Mei is not Mae, whoever that is," she commented. "But Mei is sure if you're that scared and regretful, this Mae will forgive you..."
Either way, she listened to this Chocomon--Malik. He's a curious one for sure, and she had no idea what he have in mind either... How enigmatic. All that Mei would do is to simply to answer his commentaries. "Mmm, well, Mei thinks that it's important to communicate to someone to know them more! Just because we're different it doesn't mean that Mei should avoid someone immediately just for that...
well... it would be hypocritical of Mei to said that this happened every single time though... Mei isn't that saintly to not avoid certain person... But Mei think that you're... lonely? All children in this world born with desire to be loved, you know..." the Meicoomon would say.
"...Mei understand in certain way... Mei... there's a Meicoomon that came to this place before. Apparently they done something bad that causes a lot of grief. For that crime,all Meicoomon have to shoulder that sin... it cannot be helped, but exactly because it cannot be helped that Mei is here to fix that image. If Malik feel Malik did bad, why don't we apologize together?"
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Post by Malik on Aug 1, 2019 4:29:09 GMT
Malik listened to Mei talk and seemed puzzled for a moment, but there was also a hint of relief "...forgive...maybe..." he mulled over that for a little while, seemingly pleased but still worried deep down. Not remembering anything he did to have earned such feelings was extremely troubling. "...want to...be forgiven. Still...so scared." He sighed and looked away from Mei.
However, at her advice, he looked back up. She had a point. He never did attempt to properly talk to someone, so of course they wouldn't have anything to work with as far as his personality goes. However, there was one truth that Malik understood. Talking to people was scary. Though it was his own lack of trying that kept him from making at least some friends here. "...I'm different..." he muttered softly as he paced back and forth.
"Being...different is lonely. I am...lonely." he said, eyes looking only slightly sad. "But...want to be liked...even if I'm different." Despite his distant expression, he seemed to be pleading with Mei "...help? Want to...meet them." He admitted.
Some of the other Digimon children heard Malik actually speak for once and looked among each other, confused. Maybe even a little guilty for treating him like an outcast just because he acted a little strangely? Still, they were wary, but less so. Perhaps they'd be willing to talk to him.
Malik was very insecure despite his aloof demeanor "...not good...at showing emotions...does that mean...I'm creepy?" He asked. "I want to learn how...to make friends." He heard Mei's own worries and sadness about being judged for the actions of someone else, but was impressed and inspired by her pure dedication to make something of herself and push past the preconceptions others had of her. "Would...like to talk to them with you. And apologize..."
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Post by Mei on Aug 6, 2019 12:21:58 GMT
"Mei think being scared after doing something Malik feel bad is a good mindset to have. That means Malik is properly reflecting on Malik's mistakes... but remember to not punish yourself too much alright?" Mei gently pet the Chocomon Malik with her feeler. "It's important to reflect on your mistakes, but if Malik overdo it, you'll ended up torturing yourself, and that is bad! To ask forgiveness might be hard, but you know what's the biggest hurdle is? To forgive yourself. Mei thinks if Malik can forgive himself, it'll be easier to ask forgiveness from the other."
Well, being different is indeed hard. "Mei... Mei think there must be some sort of common interest first... like... For example, what brings Malik happiness? What sparks joy? What makes Malik interested on something? Talking shared interest might make people interested.... there must be something in you that can make people interested, so don't give up!"
Not good at showing expression means he's creepy? "...Mmmmm... Mei think frankly that doesn't matter, but that's probably because Mei has been raised among cats. Their facial expressions is not easily readable, and it's hard to actually know what they're thinking... but if you look at them, they actually gave hints to you based on their tail, and how they looks at you.
So Mei feel even if Malik consciously doesn't show much, Mei feel there must be some unconscious way for Malik to show it... like how Malik paced back and forth like this, isn't Malik actually impatient to certain degree?"
Mei would nod at his desire. "Un, Mei will help Malik!" she offered him what looked like a hug. "If you feel sad at the moment, why don't you just hug Mei? Mei's fluffy and warm, you know~?"
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Post by Malik on Aug 6, 2019 18:52:28 GMT
"If...I don't know what I did...how can...I forgive myself...?" He said solemnly. Was he truly torturing himself? If so, for what reason? Not knowing why he felt so guilty was such an awful feeling. A feeling he didn't know how to escape from. But...what Mei said to him was surprising. As long as he knows that he did something wrong and felt bad about it, he was on the path to becoming a better person? The path to forgiving himself? Forgiving himself would make it easier to ask others for it too...
At her question of what Malik likes, it took him a moment to think about it "Reading. I...like reading. I like hearing stories...n-never miss story time..." he said with the slightest hint of a blush on his face. "D-don't know...w-what else."
Mei's thoughts that Malik did in fact show subtle hints of emotion through body language and other tells confused him a little. Could one truly be emotional without outwardly showing it? Pacing to symbolize being lost in thought, or impatient. "Hm..." he huffed slightly.
Then, another unexpected thing. Mei offered him a hug. He flinched and moved back a bit. He didn't understand. Yet, he approached and accepted the hug. The warmth was comforting and he shut his eyes for a moment. Peace. He felt at peace. More importantly, he felt wanted. A glow emanated from his body as he began to Digivolve from the emotion of acceptance. In place of the Chocomon was now Lopmon embracing Mei. "Eh...?" He pulled away and looked at himself, stumbling on his new feet and looking at his hands "...different..." he muttered, new hand resting on his chin. He lifted his ears and lowered them, curious.
The commotion didn't go unnoticed by the others, who start whispering about Malik's digivolution. Still the same dull expression, but he was talking to the nice Meicoomon...so maybe he wasn't bad at all? Malik looked at Mei and gave only the vaguest of smiles "Thank you." He stated as he looked out towards the other Digimon. Still nervous, he idly rubbed his ears "Still...worried...I-I only know reading...don't know...how to play with others..."
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Post by Mei on Aug 7, 2019 10:40:27 GMT
"Mmm, indeed, it all goes back to in the end, the need to face the people Malik felt he has wronged, huh," Mei commented thoughtfully. "Well, I guess that's what some people would say 'you shouldn't worry too much' for the meantime. After all, if you stresses it too much, it'll only drags your mood down. Preparing for the meeting is fine and all, but Mei think it's fine if you just let it sit on the back of your mind until you're ready."
Reading huh? After the hug, the Meicoomon suddenly waved at someone. "Mei-chan? Did you make a friend?" the human girl asked. "Malik, this is Mei!" Mei the Meicoomon told him. That... that probably going to confuse the hell outta him, wouldn't it?
"Ah, ano, my name is Tsukigami Mei. I'm Mei-chan's partner you see... Your name's Malik? That's an interesting name..."
"Mei, Mei, Malik said he loves to read!"
"Oh? Aren't that a great hobby? What sort of book do you like to read? I like to read books too, although it's mostly DIY, or things about new medicine... ah, but I'm interested in novels too!"
"Don't worry and just talk with Mei whatever Malik likes! Mei is a good girl!" the Meicoomon reassured him.
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Post by Malik on Aug 8, 2019 13:51:17 GMT
He looked away a bit and grumbled, but there was truth to her words. "Ah...not worry...? Will try..." It was a tall order, but he would try to put those thoughts away for the time being so he could focus on being a better person right now. "Don't know when...I'll be ready. Have...a feeling they want me...to be a better person...don't want to disappoint."
Malik yelped as soon as another Mei was introduced "Mae?!" He covered his eyes with his ears, only to soon realize it's another person named Mei. Even he was starting to feel like it was ridiculous that so many had similar sounding names. He sighed heavily and hugged his ears to his body shyly. A human...had he ever met one before? He didn't know. "Name...interesting? It is...huh..." He tilted his head "Don't know...how I thought of it."
Then, the Digimon Mei started shouting that he liked to read, which made him blush a little bit. At the other Mei's questions, he stammered slightly "A-any...story. Like...adventures. Like...nice stories...n-not good at...reading books for learning..." He admitted.
The Meicoomon kept reassuring him to keep talking to her, but what else was there to talk about...? "What is...it like outside of the village...? Will they...think I'm strange? What do humans...think about Digimon?" he asked, curious about so many things, but things that likely don't have easy answers. "I'm sorry...I'm not good at talking. Don't have lots of things to talk...about. Not good at...a lot of things..."
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Post by Mei on Aug 16, 2019 14:52:44 GMT
"Then just let it flow naturally, and be a good person! 'Being a good person' is just matter of common sense and feeling that came from the heart, that's what Mei think at least. If you try to help, but doesn't consider someone's feeling, you might either actually helps but make people upset, or isn't helping at all or making people upset... so Mei think first and foremost, to learn what's good and what's bad, you should start empathizing with people, and go out there, talk with people more! But it's OK to take your time! It's OK to be nervous! These feelings are normal... Mei also felt all butterfly-y when Mei talks with new people, and it felt like the ground could swallow Mei whole, but... first thing first is you should greet someone positively!" Mei spoke again
As for Mei the human, she tilted her head when it looked like Malik was panicking for a bit, but calling out... different name from her own? Poor guy... sounds like there are some trauma involved here... "Well, according to what I read, the name 'Malik' can be Arabic which means 'Owner' or 'King'. Although I heard it's also Greenlandic name which means 'Wave'. Names are interesting isn't it?"
Adventure stories huh... "That's interesting... Would you like me to bring some of such stories next time I visit? We'll be here for quite some times, I think. We're part timing here, so we'll be here for a while..."
Hmmm, what is it outside the village? "There is Rosewood City nearby... it's peaceful there. It's similar to here. When the child stages are big enough, they often would decide to move to Rosewood to start their baby steps toward living in society. There are also many other cities out there... and I think it's best to see for yourselves if you want to actually see... Words of mouth tends to not do enough justice for what available to see out there," Mei softly answered. "You see... as for if whether they think you're strange or not... that's subjective isn't it? I don't think you're strange. I just think you're shy and just a bit not good at expressing yourself externally... but that's fine. It's not like you should completely change yourself to be liked. People just have different opinions, that's all...
Humans... humans in real world unfortunately aren't fond of Digimons, but I'm sure there are many humans in Digital World that both just started being bonded with Digimon and veterans alike that have quite the positive feeling toward Digimons... but newbies might not yet understand some social cues, so if they did wrong action, please forgive them alright? And it's OK to not have a lot of thing to talk about. Talk topic is something that flows naturally... and forcing conversation can be awkward... so you don't have to force yourself. You're doing good so far though!"
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Post by Malik on Aug 16, 2019 15:53:29 GMT
Was it true that Malik was just thinking about it too hard? Maybe it really was as easy as just being true to himself and simply attempting to talk to others. He'll never make proper connections with others if he just shut himself away. He looked down, lost in thought as he processed this. "...Yes...you are right...makes me...feel better that others feel shy too...that others worry..." He looked over at the other Digimon "...I understand...how others feel. When I see them sad...I feel sad...when they're happy...I feel warm. I want...to feel the same. I want to show the same feelings..."
The name Malik had such origins? The thought of being considered a king of any sort felt...wrong to him. Once again it there was a small feeling of guilt, but he pushed it aside. Wave. He liked that, though. At the promise of stories, he gave a small smile "Yes. I would like that. If it is...not too inconvenient..."
"Rosewood. The older Digimon talk about it...it sounds nice. A place to start...a place to discover yourself..." He said, fondly thinking about the place. "I don't...know when I will leave. There is...so much I want to learn...about the world and myself." His strange behavior wasn't so strange? He was simply his own person...shy...finds it difficult to emote. He shouldn't have to change himself to appease others. If he grows, it will be by his own will. "Hm..."
The thought that humans didn't like digimon saddened him somewhat, but for some reason he understood why they would. However, he still didn't like the thought "...we...can't control who we are...and we both exist...so...why should we fear each other...? We...are part of the same reality...we should...embrace that." He said, with a determination in his voice that wasn't present before. He blushed and looked away "...Sorry. I...I don't think I should say anything about that...what...do I know?"
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Post by Mei on Aug 24, 2019 19:42:01 GMT
Mmmm the Digimon have quite the sympathy it seems! Mei approved of that. "That's what called sympathy. Sympathizing someone is a key to be a good Digimon, Mei think! Of course there is a limit where something can be more harmful than good, but... Mei think it's good to be understanding of another person's feeling. Empathy and sympathy, and that buds understanding... Mei think Malik will be that 'good digimon' of his dream!"
Of course Mei mentally noted to bring such books. She probably also made note to snuck in some of her self made illustrated books. Maybe he'll like them?
"Take it easy," Mei the human would say to Malik about his desire to learn the world. Indeed, the philosophy is there... But... Mei wondered how should she answer this.
"...Dislike, hatred, distrust... was supposed to be something like a self defense mechanism... I feel. True, that we can't control as who we're born, nor we can control how we perceived the first time without actually interacting with someone, and solidify their opinion of us by showing our merits and demerits through actions... But like just feeling of like, love, affection, chemistry... we cannot help at times that there are indeed some things that we don't like... even when it's another person who did us no wrong. We cannot help but to fear 'uncertainty' and what we perceive as 'different'. Because in a sense, everyone who have feelings have subconscious desire to protect their 'self', whether this is ego or id, it's pretty much the same...
But you know? Bitter things exist to balance the sweet things. Sometimes if all you experience is happiness, you'd be sheltered... but when you feel bitterness of life, then the sweetness of life came afterward, it'll feel much better. It makes you hope for better future. Everything exist in equilibrium... and naturally, everyone is walking in their own paths to seek happiness. Don't you think you're doing that yourself?"
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Post by Malik on Aug 31, 2019 20:51:13 GMT
Sympathy...empathy. Part of Malik didn't really think much of it before, but were such things that came naturally to him that important? It surprised him, but he knew that it wasn't enough. He'd have to do something to act on those feelings and emotions. There was so much he still wanted to do and understand. He felt like he had to learn these things as soon as possible, but Mei encouraged him to take his time with it.
Though he listened to what Mei had to say, it made him a little sad. Some people can't help how they feel about certain things or how they view others. He winced slightly as this reminded him of...memories? He wasn't sure what they were, but thinking back on them made him uncomfortable. Someone using power to control thoughts and emotions to bring about a utopian ideal. Using symbols of ancient power to bring people to their side. That was not the right way to do it at all. He placed his hands to his chest and looked away "People...can think what they want. As long as it doesn't...hurt anyone else. If what another person thinks isn't hurtful...it seems a waste to be concerned with it...threatening your 'self.'" He argued. "We are all...different. So many will...never meet each other. We should live life by what makes us happy...as long as people aren't hurt."
Mei brought up a good point. Without the bitter things in the world, then there wouldn't be as much meaning to the good things that followed. "Am I...really doing that myself? I can't tell. I...want to walk my own path...and be happy. I want to learn how to be friends with others. And maybe one day...forgive myself and apologize to those people I hurt..."
He looked at the Meis and did his best to give them a smile. It was a little awkward, but he tried "You both have...really helped me, even though...I'm a stranger. You didn't have to...it...reminds me of someone. I-I don't know who...but I think it's...one of the people I want to apologize to..."
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Post by Mei on Sept 1, 2019 20:26:42 GMT
"Indeed," Mei (the human) smiled at Malik's assessment. "That sort of view is important. That's called being open minded, you see? But thing is... the amount of people who are open minded are very small. Sometimes people are afraid of changes, they're afraid of new things... they prefer status quo. Because that's what good about stability see? Nothing changes, it's all the same, and peace is what they want... People who can adapt to changes are strong. But not everyone are like that. Sometimes, taking the first step, and especially forced to do so... is the hardest thing ever.
But you're right. Everyone is entitled to their happiness. However, in their pursuit of happiness, they should try to minimize, as much as possible, the negative impact to another. Have you heard of egoistic altruism? Basically, in your pursuit of happiness, you aim to make everyone and their living condition become much better, and that will impact your livelihood. I think this is the good way to be egoistic... egoistic, but also improving people's life."
Be happy, huh... "Right, I think that's important to find what makes you happy. Don't worry. I think you should explore the world just to see how it goes!"
Hmmm, kind huh... "In a way, I guess we're just... meddling peoples," Mei admitted, sheepishly. "But we can't exactly just leave someone who looked like he need help to just sit by his lonesome, you know? We want you to at least understand... that kindness do breeds kindness... Spread the love, and the world will be better."
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Post by Malik on Sept 13, 2019 0:55:32 GMT
He nodded slowly "It's...scary to change. Because change is difficult and...needs people to understand another point of view. Can't...force it. Force just makes people...resent one another." He said, once again feeling a well of guilt inside of him over something. While he didn't have much to compare to, he had a feeling that he was more open-minded and accepting than before. Someone who was willing to listen and appreciate other world views aside from his own. There was a comfort in that change, if he was truly so close minded before.
One's happiness must never intrude on another's...was that what she was saying? It made sense to him. "Intruding on another person's happiness...would make my own feel hollow and undeserved. I would never do that to someone intentionally..." He pondered what she meant by egoistic altruism. At first he considered the two to be mutually exclusive, but how she said it made sense. Better your own life by helping others with their own. That wasn't a bad goal or philosophy to live by. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with getting a better lot in life through helping others. "I think I agree with you. It's...all so new to me. I'm not sure what I should think. Where I should go..."
At her suggestion of exploring the world, he looked out towards the wide open world that exists outside of the village. "I don't...know if I'm ready yet. I'll...stay here for a little while longer. Make friends with the others...then maybe a little later I'll try setting out."
He managed a little laugh at Mei referring to her and her Digimon as 'meddling peoples.' "Sometimes there is such a thing as...good meddling. If you didn't talk to me...I would just be sitting far away, watching others...not knowing what to do. Now I...I think I can finally talk to them and...be friends. I hope."
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