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Picking up the Pieces [Silence]
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2019 21:43:21 GMT
”Can’t help but wonder why, don’t they usually share the synopsis of most missions with the guild?”
The renamon rubbed her chin thoughtfully, looking at the botamon as the mikemon did. She… Felt oddly protective of this little one, wanting to reach out and coddle them a bit. The fox expression didn’t waiver as mikemon explained how she was sparring with syre a little bit. But honestly sparring with family might have not been the best choice for trying to learn how to control such a form.
She wanted to bring that up and the renamon stopped herself as he explained something to her. How that holly and syre ran into a bit of trouble on a fishing trip. The renamon’s eyebrows shot up as the story went on… so the meicoomon had taught herself how to swim or learned how to from another. Way outside of her comfort zone the meicoomon had brought herself to learn a skill she didn’t like; all for the sake of family. The renamon’s eyes flashed lightly and she’d lean to pull the mikemon into a hug.
”Sounds like we can just tell her how it is. How she has to improve if she wants to use those forms more often. I feel as though she’d rather not be a slime for a good few days or however long she’s stuck like this.”
Silence’s ear flicked and she’d blink at the license being mentioned; she felt her face make a somewhat funny look as she was reminded of something she didn’t really… find as too terribly comforting.
”...It’s also possible that she’s been using her license from that group she was a part of way back when. Even kizna has training standards doesn’t it? Then again being her parents we could probably check right...?”
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Post by Dr. Mikemon on Dec 26, 2019 3:50:07 GMT
"Oh sure, there's a synopsis, but the summaries can't cover everything."
Mikemon shook his head in frustration. As ideal as it might have been, he couldn't just cover for every little situation - and sometimes, Holly was going to get in over her head. She needed to be able to handle herself in those sorts of situations, both for her own safety and for her parents' sanity.
Fortunately, it was probably going to be as simple as telling her that she needed to learn how to fight. He nodded, leaning into the Renamon's hug as he nuzzled into her mane. "She's an adult. Its hard for me to think of that sometimes, but she is - she's able to figure out her own decisions. So we can just tell her how it is."
Aside from that, the cat's ear flicked... and he gave a sigh. "She's probably used that license before, but she'd know not to now. Especially after she found out that they were trying to locate them in Luminas - she would know better than to spread the trail." He looked over his shoulder, to the sleeping Botamon, and gave a small smile.
"... She's definitely talented."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2019 2:15:00 GMT
”Hmm. That’s fair I suppose.”
Silence rubbed her chin thoughtfully, she couldn’t help but wonder about her mission summaries and the ones that K had been a part of. Could she even look at those summaries being a completely different mon than the knight that everyone had been making out to be a legend of sorts? She didn’t really know. She wasn’t about to push for it either.
When it came to holly and the whole getting over her head bit, wasn’t that just how this family seemed to operate? Everyone getting into something way over their head in some fashion or another; dealing with big problems that they didn’t really know what else to do with? But making due anyways?
”Well at least she’ll be able to take it at face value then. I can’t help but wonder her reaction to it; I know she doesn’t like fighting all too much…”
The renamon rubbed the top of the mikemon’s head; he had a point about the license but… She couldn’t help but feel like there would be times that she would use it to skip over things? Maybe she was being a worry wart for nothing so she’d just nod at the idea that holly wasn’t using the license.
”Speaking of luminas… From what I’ve been told there was a coup or something recently? Some change of government? I don’t really remember much about them prior to that past a little tidbit here or there.”
The renamon followed where the mikemon was looking and gave him a gentle squeeze; holly was definitely talented. Everyone in this family seemed to be in some way or another. Which wasn’t a bad thing in the slightest. It made everything interesting but she couldn’t help but wonder…
”Out of a lot of mons I’ve met she certainly stands out. I can’t help but see her as a blessing honestly; even though she wasn’t super keen on me at first.”
The renamon chuckled and sighed softly.
”Kinda makes me want one of my own; but I don’t even know if I’m going to be a good mother.”
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Post by Dr. Mikemon on Dec 28, 2019 23:01:59 GMT
"Mm... its not that she doesn't like fighting. I mean, she doesn't mind sparring with Syre or myself - I just don't think she likes violence."
So maybe she would actually like the training? Well, that was hard to say. Nestling up against the Renamon's mane, the cat's ear flicked as Silence spoke about Luminas. "Oh, right... that was a mess and a half a few months ago..." He closed his eyes, giving a sigh as he tried to bring his thoughts together on the subject. "As I recall, after that whole Wisemon fiasco, the people of Luminas got fed up with authority. They had all of these 'rules' designed to protect the Digital World, but all it really did was make things worse by ostracizing certain types of Digimon... or something like that. It was a bunch of 'angels only do good, everyone else is questionable' bull or something."
He shook his head at that. There was a reason that he still had somewhat a clear conscience after the Island 8-C incident.
"All you need to know about it, for now, is that people are trying to make it a normal city..."
And to that last bit? The cat gave a blush.
"... Well. You got a good week or so to figure out just how well you can handle a young'n."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2019 1:19:09 GMT
”...As strange as it sounds to hear that I understand. Not everyone is born for it.”
Silence stared at the botamon and wondered the same thing herself. Would holly embrace training so that she didn’t have to worry when violence did occur? Or would she back away? The renamon hoped that the latter part wouldn’t be the case, she would hopefully be able to make the youth see the reasoning behind it.
Then mikemon started to explain the whole luminas nonsense. The truth behind the coup that people had avoided talking about up there. She’d rub the top of his head and sighed softly. Were these individuals that now controlled a central part of the digital world people they could trust in the long term? There was only one way to find out.
”Well lets see if the new government is truly for the people or not… I bet if things turn out for the worse that it’ll just go over again. People don’t want to return to what they fought against.”
It was an odd bit of wisdom coming from silence, more like K than anything that silence would come up with. Perhaps the late renamon was around in more ways than one!
”....I’d help them if I could but I’m still… trying to come to terms with myself. That and I heard from the mission guild that they don’t exactly like me.”
Silence flicked an ear and noted the blush, giving a small grin she’d nose against it and rumble deep.
”Yeah that’s true, she seems to be a little rascle that doesn’t want to sleep. But I think I can handle her just fine.”
The renamon didn’t really know how much of a problem she’d have with the youth, or at least getting her to sleep!
It was a pretty simple day, sure Silence thought she had a handle on the little botamon. If anything she was given a run for her money; the little excitable slime getting into just about everything! She was barely able to keep track of them for a good chunk of the day, running to and fro just to find the blob sleeping in the strangest places.
One of the biggest locales that they wanted to be in was the mikemon’s room, finding comfort in the scents that stayed around the bed. Which more or less forced the renamon to stick around there to comfort the slime.
At this very moment however she was out in the living space, holding the slime in her arms. The little slime had tuckered herself out chasing after some dust bunnies. The renamon had… this strange desire to clean some and had ended up doing so when she noticed that some of the less explored areas were kind of accumulating dust. She’d frown a little bit and look down to her hands as they ran over the botamon’s exterior.
”...Didn’t think I’d ever clean like that…”
The renamon sighed and leaned back. She had a lot on her plate, even more now that she was here with this family. She could remember little things about each of them... and it was the strangest thing since she knew that she hadn't learned it herself!
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 29, 2019 1:46:55 GMT
Holly was definitely a troublesome little Botamon, but whenever there was trouble finding her? Syre always seemed to be able to sniff her out in a minute or two.
Dad's room, the library, there were even a couple of times that she was in Syre's room to begin with! And this was just one of those times when Silence needed help. This time, it seemed that it even took Syre a minute, as she hadn't expected her sister to become so enamored with balls of random dust. As Silence picked dust out of the Botamon, Syre found herself brushing the light-gray dust out of her own dark fur.
"I knew she had a curious mind but she's really pushing herself. I think she doesn't like being that 'poor little slime'... she just wants to read and research and play like she's able to do as a Meicrackmon." Ugh - the cat cracked her back, and then turned to have her back face the fox. "Did I get all the dirt back there?"
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2019 2:08:03 GMT
Silence was grateful for syre being able to find holly with such frequency and with such precision. Some places the renamon just didn’t know where the little slime wanted to be! She sighed softly and shook her head as she thumbed over the slime as she fussed at her. The renamon wasn’t sure what the little slime wanted but…
Syre’s guess made sense, she wanted to play, she wanted to read and research. She wanted to be more than just a slime. The renamon knew how that felt; she had the same issue when she was a relemon or viximon. Struggling for the simple things and barely able to make ends meet.
”I mean I wouldn’t want to be a slime either after having hands and the capability to read. But such is the price to pay for unpracticed power no?”
Silence stared at syre for a moment; finding herself chuckling and reaching out for a moment to pat the top of the other’s head… but thought better about it. She was sure that syre didn’t want that sort of support from her of all people.
”Ah! No. You’ve got some in the middle of your back. Here…”
The renamon patted the other’s back, getting the dust and dirt that had worked into her fur out before sighing softly. She’d give a small shake of her head before taking a seat on the couch in the living space, holly had quickly fallen asleep in silence’s arms again.
”I heard that she had been a meicoo from the get go. Barely been a slime for less than a day. What about you? Were you this energetic?”
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 29, 2019 2:20:41 GMT
"Ah, thanks..."
Back relatively clean, Syre gave another stretch, and hopped up on that couch next to Silence. Right now, she was just happy to get a few moments off of her feet, the cat's ear twitching at Silence's question. "Mm... no. Apparently, I was a fresh for like a week and an in-training for a few weeks after that. According to dad, my cycle was 'normal' and Holly's was 'something that only barely makes sense because she's a Meicoomon."
She gave a small chuckle at that, then sighed, stretching out her hands on her knees. After a moment, she'd slip closer and run a hand carefully across the back of the blob's head.
"You can't help but be a little ball of energy, can't you?"
She felt it: the stirring impatience of her sister, just under those closed eyes. After a moment, Syre would close her own... a very familiar hum beginning to radiate from her. One that Silence would have heard from Mikemon, and maybe one that Silence hummed to herself from time to time.
A tune that couldn't help but relax the poor Holly's head...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2019 2:26:27 GMT
”No problem!”
Silence gave the other a small smile and flicked her ears as the other hopped onto the couch. She forgot how small syre was sometimes, even as a champion or rookie she just… Was it really that strange given what three fifths of this family was made out of? No? The renamon chuckled lightly at hearing that she had only been fresh for a week and an in training for a few weeks after that. It had taken the renamon about a month herself to be a rookie hadn’t it? Maybe a little less or a little more. Her early days were very slow it felt.
”I’ve been told that meicoomon’s are a strange bunch. But I can hardly say I agree given that every species seems to have their own oddities. Renamon included.”
The renamon watched the other run their hand across holly’s head, the small blob shifting at the touch. She’d open her eyes blearly and stare up at the blackgatomon. There was a soft huff of irritation and she’d nod her head… Only for that hum to start up. The small blobs eyes seemed to space out and before too long?
Well silence found herself humming along and with a slightly surprising motion her hands bolted up to her mouth as it had just slipped out. She didn’t intend to and she couldn’t help but sighing a bit. She didn’t know where that came from or where that tune really meant. Just that it was ingrained in her somehow.
”...Sorry… It just kinda… slipped out.”
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 29, 2019 2:32:11 GMT
"It might not be fair... but there is some truth to it."
Meicoomon could be terrifying - but they could also be loving, nerdy sisters. And it didn't take long for Syre's mimicry of her mom's lullaby to help get Holly right off to sleep. Syre didn't even notice at first... but for a few seconds, Silence was following right along. Only after Silence moved that hand up did the black cat notice at all, and at that apology, Syre tilted her head.
Carefully, she would take the Botamon into her hands, resting Holly on her lap. "What do you have to apologize for?" She gave a sigh: "That song... apparently it was important to my mom. In fact, it was something that she learned from her mother way back when - so that you know it isn't surprising to me at all. Its one of the few lasting memories she had through her entire life... more or less."
The cat gave a pause after that.
"... Unless that's why you're apologizing."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2019 2:38:24 GMT
”Yeah I’ve read the reports of meicoomon attacks or how they go ‘feral’. Truth be told I was worried for holly since I know she doesn’t fit into that stigma but it seems like she’s been able to manage with it.”
The renamon shook her head; she had met a few of the fierce cousins the meicoomon had. They were fighters through and through, reliable and harsh. There were some that were barely better than animals and fell into their instincts. That grew into problems. Much like a report that she read about some group in the dark area way back. One that her past iteration had a hand in defeating.
Silence stared down at her hands for a few long moments. How the song was important to syre’s mother. How she had learned it from their mother and that it was one of the few lasting memories that K would have that seeped into her. How it lasted her entire life. How it meant so much. The renamon flicked an ear.
”I am apologizing for that. It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to her. I’m… I’m not your mother and it’s not how things should be; I shouldn’t be trying to fill the shoes of someone that I can’t hope to match up to even if I feel love of my own for you all. But it’s hard not to fall into some habits she had. Like the cleaning or this weird desire to cook at the strangest parts of the day.”
The renamon shook her head, looking a little frazzled at the idea of having someone elses wants or needs with her at all times. Then again she had been dealing with the powerful memories of K since she was a child. Barely being able to keep track of everything that was the other’s life and memories. There was a long pause before her next question; one that was innocent and an honest question. One that silence wasn’t sure where it came from.
”....Do you miss her?”
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 29, 2019 2:49:06 GMT
"... Yeah... yeah, mom did like to cook..."
Syre gave a small smile at that. Right now, she was just considering Silence's apology, not exactly sure how she even wanted to respond, or if she needed to. She seemed content just trying to comfort her poor sister, the cat blinking as Silence asked that inevitable question. She gave a pause, carefully setting Holly to rest on an end pillow.
"Of course I miss her."
Her words were calm. "Whenever I see you and dad hanging out together out of the corner of my eye, I have to remind myself that, well, you aren't her. You look like here, and you have a few of her quirks... but honestly, I don't think you could be a further match from mom in some respects. Rougher, more direct... heck, you didn't even give dad a hard time when he ordered take-out!"
That last part may have been a bit too loud for what it was - Syre caught herself with a chuckle. "Its been hard without her. I won't say I've handled it the best I could have, but... well, we're trying. And having you along is... at least a bit of a help, I guess."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2019 3:07:57 GMT
”I have twinges of memories of her spending time doing so. Sometimes I wake up in the kitchen at like three or four with a knife in hand and some onions.”
The renamon snorted a bit and shook her head; it was really odd sometimes the places she ended up or the memories she would get when seeing someone that K had interacted a lot with. Silence stared at the other as she confirmed that she did indeed miss her mother. Silence understood that she would miss her, but not that concept. She didn’t understand loss. She didn’t understand what it meant to lose someone or lose everything.
”Whenever… Whenever I see you. Or holly or Mikemon I… I always get these visions, memories or little moments of something from her. Something that I have to tell myself wasn’t from me. That… these quirks you see from her aren’t… aren’t necessarily hers and aren’t wholey mine either.”
The renamon rubbed her nose and then chuckled at the last part, how she was rougher, more direct and how she didn’t even give her father a hard time when he ordered take out. Holly blearily opened her eyes and the renamon reached out to gently comfort the slime, to quickly find the little blob falling asleep on her.
”She didn’t like take out because she felt like it meant that she didn’t care. That it was insulting to her skills as a cook and how much she really wanted to be there for you.”
There was a long pause and the renamon seemed oddly thoughtful, how it was hard with her gone. How the other hadn’t handled it the best and honestly… They were trying and how having her about was helping a little bit. Silence sighed and if allowed would hug the blackgatomon, her touch wasn’t as gentle as K’s or near as experienced but it certainly had all the love.
”...The… First memory that I had. The very first thing that I ever remembered from her old life, a proper memory was when I saw you. Walking in through a door, much smaller than the one I came from. Looking lost and confused like you weren’t sure what you were looking at. The pain of… not having someone for so long just thrust upon you. I was.. Tired at that point. Had some… arm that wasn’t mine.”
There was a soft sigh and silence shook her head.
”I knew at that moment that I had found her old family, but rather than… well try to force myself on it I knew that I had to start from the ground up. Treat you like your own mon with your own merits and strengths. I can firmly say that that was the right choice and I can understand one thing.”
The renamon would rub the top of syre’s head and give her a smile.
”She would of been proud of you Syre. I know I am.”
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 29, 2019 6:41:49 GMT
That was the crux of it.
Silence was not K - but at the same time, she was K. Her memories, though muddled, were now riddled in the mind of a completely new Digimon. Whenever she saw Syre, Holly, or the doctor, she was flooded with memories of her old life, her old happiness... but in the end, none of it was her own. The joy she felt was just an echo in her heart.
On that though, Syre looked to the floor, deep in thought. She missed that bit about take-out food, but her ear flicked in recognition of another memory. The one where Syre had met K for the first time, in that clinic in the Dark Area. Silence spoke of it in vague terms, but it was fresh as ever in Syre's head. The potential apprehension in her chest, the fear of seeing someone who couldn't even bother to be there in the first few months of her life - and the weight of all of that falling away, as she simply leapt into her mother's arms and let all of that frustration wash away with her tears.
After all, K was her mom. And Syre feared that she might have never been able to meet her in the first place.
"..." The cat remained silent for a moment. Silence gave her a compliment, that she would have been proud of her, but... what did Silence really know?
"I know she was proud, Silence. Heck, it almost broke her to see her little girl so strong and grown up, but..."
She paused.
"Is this really alright? You being here... will you really ever have the chance to be 'you'?"
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2019 3:29:28 GMT
Silence sat there staring down at her hands; it was rough here. But it was the sort of roughness that made her happy in an odd way. The constant flow of memories was almost… re-assuring somehow. Like she’d be happy if she stayed, like she knew these people but it wasn’t fair to them. It wasn’t fair to her. The renamon seemed oddly quiet. Her words sometimes felt holly; her love didn’t feel like her own sometimes. Her emotions and memories just seemed distant.
Silence opened her mouth to speak but syre had something in store for her. She knew that K would be proud, that the renamon’s heart had almost been broken seeing their little girl so strong and grown up.
Was this okay?
Would she ever truly be herself in the shadow of K’s family?
The renamon’s mouth stayed open for a few moments and she’d close it with a small clack of her teeth. She’d stare back down at her hands. The question rolled through her mind; time and time again did she think about it. She really didn’t have an answer for it; she really didn’t have an answer for a lot of things. She wasn’t some ancient being with a font of wisdom at her backing for every little thing. But…
”I don’t… think that I ever will get the chance to just be me. That’s not how this rebirth thing works. I’m… constantly remembering things and the things I know aren’t… from me. There’s no real way of stopping that.”
Silence sat there sort of fidgeting a bit; her motions were a lot more animated than any of K’s and she certainly had her own personality under everyone’s thoughts of hers. The renamon sighed softly and ran a hand through her fur.
”Truth be told. I wanted to see… the things she had, the people she met. The family she made. See my place in everything; see what I could. But… when I found you all there was so much hurt there how could I turn away from it? Maybe though you’re right… I think for a little bit I might travel some, do some soul searching.”
There was a pause and the renamon chuckled.
”Though unlike her I doubt mine will be meditating in a forest for two months…”
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