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Post by Byakko on May 3, 2016 21:58:59 GMT
Cuttah sat down close to Crystal (although still some distance away), still smiling.
"Well, I've been thinking, no one really likes to hang around a negative nelly too often. I've been a real drag around my brother!
So what I thought was... I try to look happy! Be active with other people... but try not to kill them with my smell. If I can appease others by not looking as miserable as I usually am I can liven up the mood!
As they say, fake it until you make it! Maybe if I fake it hard enough I can eventually be really happy!"
And so she gave a big, wide, proud smile... although it would be good that Crystal could not read minds, lest she know about Cuttahs torrent of thoughts hoping that she can pull this off, whether or not she can keep it up for a long time, whether or not she can play off any gaseous spurts that -might- happen, etc.
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Post by Crystal Pure on May 5, 2016 8:25:21 GMT
"If that's what you want."
Crystal wasn't quite sure what to make of Cuttah's plan. One part of her believed that it wasn't a good idea for her to fake her happiness like that. Yet another part believed it was pretty hypocritical of her to think that. After all wasn't she basically doing the same thing recently. So who was to judge Cuttah about it?
"Just understand that I would rather see you actually be happy then to have you fake it. Something I believe the others would agree with." She decided to advise. Her voice maintaining a soft, friendly tone while she did so.
This got Crystal thinking though. What could she possibly do to make Cuttah happy for real?
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Post by Byakko on May 5, 2016 19:22:22 GMT
"Oh don't worry about it Crystal. I think as long as I manage to keep this up I'll put everyone's minds at ease!"
She crossed her arms and looked away. It seemed like she was looking out for her brother, but her expression slipped for a moment. She had to keep this up. It was all she could do. She turned back to Crystal, sill having that fake smile on.
"I've already told you that I hate myself before. I'm thankful for my brother for trying to help me, I really do. And by extension, I appreciate that other digimon like you even deign to suffer my company.
This isn't as spur of the moment as it might have been. I've thought about it for some time. Sure it's all a front, but it's the best I can do. Even my old tamer treated me like some sort of hidden shame so, well... I'm very self-conscious of my shortcomings and my lack of any real positive traits."
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Post by Crystal Pure on May 6, 2016 20:44:54 GMT
Crystal's smile slowly faded into a frown as Cuttah spoke. She really disliked how Cuttah was constantly down on herself. It just didn't sit right with her.
"Oh come on now. You really should stop doing that." Crystal spoke up, "Your an amazing person. You really are. You just need to... uh... Focus on your positives instead on only your negatives. It would at least be a great start."
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Post by Byakko on May 6, 2016 21:41:46 GMT
Cuttah shook her head. Her fake smile went away as she hunched over slightly.
"I give up... even when I try to fake it I end up just end up ruining the mood... I...
I don't have any positive qualities... not really. I know I'm far from the most emotionally stable... I'm not good at anything. Everything I do is motivated by self loathing if it isn't motivated by anger. I don't... like most other digimon. I'm not nice... for the most part, at best I just tolerate others.
The only real notable thing I can do is eat peppers... but even then that just makes my gas smell worse.
Am... am I even capable of not being a terrible digimon? I mean, you say focus on my positives, Lezard asked me out, Brother says I'm getting better but... I just don't see it."
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Post by Timmir2 on May 7, 2016 8:26:35 GMT
Well that didn't work out at all. Crystal was starting to think that she should honestly stop trying to trying make these grandiose speeches. They never seem to work as intended, and sometimes, like now, just make things worse. Still she couldn't end things like this.
"Why do you keep putting yourself down like that? That is the exact opposite of what I asked of you." Crystal pointed out, "How about I try to help you out?
"From the short time I know you I can tell that your kind and compassionate. You also deeply care for what other people think of you. Your also pretty generous. I mean you were the only one who voluteered to be Celeste's surrogate body. That had to say something about you right there. And yes I do remember the explanation you said back then, but I think it's more deeply rooted then that. You want to be truly happy.
"Besides think of it this way. At least your better then me." Crystal finished as her gaze dropped. Her expression becoming ever more downtrodden.
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Post by Byakko on May 7, 2016 14:29:00 GMT
Cuttah was a bit surprised that Crystal was saying that Cuttah was better than her. It was bizarre... and it didn't seem like the Lopmon was lying to her to make her feel better.
"I beat my old tamer's face in with a gun before I left him. I cannot bring myself to regret what I did, even if I know it was wrong. I... dislike a lot of digimon.
But... now that I think about it... I see you have some shame you're bearing.
I don't know what it is... but if you're saying I'm better than you... Just take that back. Take it back, please."
Cuttah felt some emotion she couldn't quite pinpoint. But she knew what was causing it... she couldn't bear to think that she was "better" than Crystal. It irked her.
"I'm just a miserable digimon but... brother, Elly, you, Lezard... you all see some... good traits in me. But...
I... think I just had an epiphany. You don't need to tell me what you did but do you really think I am 'better' than you for it? Are you hurting that much?"
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Post by Crystal Pure on May 9, 2016 21:06:54 GMT
Crystal gaze dropped from Cuttah as the Gazimon asked her question. There was definitely something weighing on the Lopmon's mind. And this wasn't just about the situation with her brother either.
"No... I wouldn't say I'm hurting. Not anymore. I think that's part of the problem though. I've grown numb to it now."
The lopmon went silent again as she held onto her scarred ear.
"I rather not get into detail, but let's just say I have done something truly horrific in my past. Something that I had the audacity to forget about. Then I tried to forget about it again. I'm not even sure if Pure knows about it or not."
She then shook her head with renewed determination as her full focus returned back on Cuttah.
"Cuttah. I honestly do think your better then me. What you did is something that I believe any reasonable digimon in that situation would have done? Everyone has a limit after all. You just ended up reaching your. Just don't... Don't allow it to be the thing that makes you you? Instead learn from it and tried to be a better digimon because of it.
"It's all I can do."
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Post by Byakko on May 9, 2016 21:52:15 GMT
Cuttah began to think about Crystal's words... but more than that, she was thinking of the situations the two were in. While Cuttah was a bit curious as to what the Lopmon did, she wasn't so curious as to think she really needed to know. The fact that whatever it was was pretty bad is enough for her.
"I am so down on myself not because of what I've done... but how I am. I never had much in the way of positive traits to work on because I spent a good chunk of it locked in a room. Or a closet... of somewhere dark and out of the way. It doesn't help that I have a gas problem. But...
...I feel bad for saying this, if someone like you somehow finds me a better digimon than yourself... it makes me feel less bad... not that that made any real sense... I barely understand it. But maybe I should be more... receptive to ones who believe in me. That I'm not just some... stupid, stinky failure...
Thanks, Crystal. I... will try to not have a... less negative outlook on myself. It's the best I can do at the moment. But... um... I have a mostly unrelated question...
What do I do now that I was asked out? I never had a boyfriend before and... well... I can't ask my brother... and you have a boyfriend yourself..."
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Post by Crystal Pure on May 9, 2016 22:31:48 GMT
"That's all I ask." Crystal said with a smile. It seemed she actually managed to get through to Cuttah. That was good. She didn't deserve to constantly be down on herself.
Then there was a question that Crystal wasn't expecting. Cuttah wanted what Crystal could best describe as relationship advice. What was she to say? She never actually went on a date herself before. Well there was that one time quite a while back, but could that really be considered a date?
"Well... Uhh... Do you like him? I mean like him like him. Like you would like to go on a date with him." Crystal then asked. She wanted to have a good idea of the situation before giving an answer.
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Post by Byakko on May 9, 2016 23:16:08 GMT
"Um... well... I think he's alright. I never really had romantic feelings for him, but I'm not... really against dating him. He's been nice to me... and it helps that brother is good friends with him too so... I feel I can trust him.
Plus he gave me the brush when he asked me out. Said he developed it for me... He also said it was unbreakable but I don't know how true that is.
My social skills aren't too great, though..."
Cuttah then rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed about what she would say next. "Do you think it's in bad form to date your best friend's sister?"
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Post by Crystal Pure on May 10, 2016 20:29:07 GMT
"I think that's more a question you should ask Sanoske." Crystal responded half-jokingly.
It did make her wonder though. Does Sanoske consider Pure his best friend and vice versa? She did kind of hope so. Something for her to check up on later.
"Yet in all seriousness. If that's how you truly feel then you owe it to yourself to at least give it a shot. Who knows? You might actually enjoy it."
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Post by Byakko on May 10, 2016 21:01:02 GMT
"Alright... I'll give it a shot..."
There was some rustling some distance away. Soon, Rippah revealed himself. "Hey, girls... sorry it took me so *belllch* long. Figured I'd wash and chill the berries before coming back.
Anyway, Cuttah, looks like you're doing fine."
[color-fuchsia]"I am... I'm doing quite well, thanks to Crystal and you all. I'm... going to try to not be so down. I want to make you proud of me."[/color]
"That's great! But I'm already pretty proud of you... Over time you've been getting better... why, when *Burrrrp* I first met you I don't think you would have even spoke to anyone. Probably would have threatened to shoot her if she got too close..."'
Cuttah looked away embarrassingly, scratching her cheek. "Can we just keep looking forward?
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Post by Crystal Pure on May 12, 2016 19:22:47 GMT
Crystal just remained quiet as the siblings talked amoungst each other. It just didn't feel right for her to chime in during such a sweet exchange. Especially when Cuttah was acting so... Positive. She could only hope that Cuttah was able to continue making progress becoming the best digimon she could be.
Meanwhile Pure was in the cooking area finishing up dinner.
"Hey Lezard. Could you tell everyone that dinner will be ready in just a few minutes? So they should probably come in and wash up."
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Post by Byakko on May 12, 2016 22:23:40 GMT
Rippah chuckled a bit at Cuttah's response. Rippah was truly happy for his twin sister. She didn't even run away this time, either.
"Well, anyway... when we have dinner, maybe you can actually sit around us, you know? It would be nice to have you around..."
Cuttah shook her head, taking a step back. "I... I'll spoil someone's dinner!"
Rippah sighed, then shrugged. It was worth a shot. "Alright then... baby hops, you know?
Say, after we're done with all this I'm going to *burrrrp* treat you to all the peppers you like. How's that sound?"
"Um... y-yeah..."
Lezard had walked out by this point, having heard part of the talking. But he decided to not make a comment over the threat of Cuttah full of hot peppers... even though he knew it was one of her favorite foods.
"Pure said the food will be ready in a few minutes time."
The siblings nodded in affirmation. Cuttah, however turned around, looking up at the Wizardmon variant.
"Lezard... I'll date you if you can bear with me..."
" *burrrrrapp??* Wait... wait what? Huh?"
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