Mon of the House ~ Eva (Finished)

Dante stood there and looked at the cloaked figure for a while. Wormmon keeps going and reaches the automatic doors, then turns around to shout at Dante. "Hey, Dante! Get your head out of your butt and start movin'!" "I'll just be a moment." Wormmon happily skips into the store, taking in the smell of fresh food, and the bright colored packaging illuminated by the store's blindingly bright lights. Dante tries to wrap his mind around what he is seeing. Was this some kind of Digimon?

Dante sees a figure appear, but only for a split second. Then, he sees a young woman with red hair. She recognizes Dante, so it must be someone he knows, or at least knows him. But it only took a little while for Dante's brain to connect the tiny little electrodes buzzing around, and recognize the girl's British accent. "Eva? Hey, Eva! What are you up to?" It starts to rain even harder. Dante quickly crosses the street and stands underneath a small overhanging rooftop to get out of the rain. Dante wipes some water off of his leather jacket. "I haven't seen rain like this since, well, living in America. Or Italy. Beats snow, I guess."

Wormmon waits for a little while, but his appetite overwhelms the Worm King. Wormmon grabs a cart and starts piling food and beverages into the cart. "Let's see, ooh, super spicy flavored chips! Four bags should be enough. Oh, but what about the sweet and sour garlic flavor? I hope I'll still have room for the sake."

It appears Eva did not find Wormmon's choice of holosuit very appropriate. Dante brushes his hair out of his eyes. "I don't think I'll ever understand Wormmon's, idiosyncrasies. Wormmon, this is Eva. She chose a slightly less undignified holosuit." "Wait, that's Eva? Hiya, Eva! Why wouldn't I choose an awesome holosuit like this? Dante wishes he looks this good. Oh, yes..." Wormmon grabs his breasts and jiggles them around. "My milkshakes bring all the mons to the abandoned warehouse." "Why an abandoned warehouse?" "Well it's where we always end up at least twice a week."

Dante just shakes his head. Wormmon was complicating this simple, grab food and go plan. "Stop hugging the fourth wall and making those sly references. Eva is thinking about staying with us for a while. That is, unless you don't drive her crazy and cause her to go on a killing spree." "Aww shucks. I can be a good worm. We're gonna have so much fun, you guys! Let's stock up on food and go home." The newly reunited trio continues through the grocery store. Dante puts like half of the things Wormmon put in the cart back on the shelves. After picking out a whole cart's worth of junk food, they pay at the register, return to the car, and stop to pick up a pizza on the way home.

Dante pulls into the driveway. Fortunately the rain has let up. Wormmon has already started eating pieces of pizza. "Here it is. The Palladino house. It's been in our family for over a year now." "Nom-nom! You'll have to forgive Dante. Sometimes he says something stupid and sarcastic, but ends up making everybody go 'Huh?!'." "Hush up, little buddy. The brits are renowned for their dry wit." They grab the groceries and go inside. Dante sets a grocery bag full of potato chips, candy, and chocolate down on the counter. He doesn't see his sister Judith around. He hears the shower running upstairs. "Judith must be taking a shower. I'm sure she will be cool with having a Digimon staying with us."

Wormmon grabs as much candy and soda as they can carry, and walks over to the living room and sits down on the couch. "Ahh, back to the grind." Wormmon starts playing UJ XLVI. Dante gives Eva a quick tour of the house. "Right here is the entry way. It's where we walk in and put our shoes. To the left is the living room. Perfect for eating, watching TV, video games, drinking apple cider, and sleeping. To the other side of the entry way is the dinning room. Though we don't usually sit down and eat. Maybe we can play poker with my friend Rob some time. Next to the dinning room is the kitchen. The most important room. Food, coffee, and the occasional confrontation. Next to the living room is the workout room/study, but we don't really use it that much. Directly out back through the sliding door is a small patio. That's where I smoke most of the time. My sister's garden is a great place to flick my ashes. Up the stairs is my bedroom and Judith's bedroom, each with their own bathroom. There's a bathroom downstairs, but no shower."

Wormmon continues playing UJ. "Keep it down in there, Dante! It's not like you are going to make Eva recreate the house on that computer game. You know, the one where you set everything on fire and watch people burn." "Oh ya. Death Simulator." Dante grabs a piece of pizza and opens a bottle of soda. He sits down on the couch to watch Wormmon play. All he is doing is running around the same area, getting into random encounters, then using a bunch of half naked female characters with gigantic breasts to mow down weak enemies. Rinse and repeat. "Aren't you going to do something else? What about that water polo mini game?" "I'm grinding for XP. To grind is to live." "Whatever."

Eva's holosuit starts to fritz out again, revealing her natural, unnatural cybernetic body. Wormmon's black mage character casts a powerful fire attack, and incinerates a weird looking purple goblin. "I'm playin' Ultimate Journey 46. It's the newest UJ game, and it's so awesome!" Dante looks at his phone and does some quick searching. "Ultimate Journey 47 is coming out Friday." "What?! Lame. Why am I playin' this old game for?" "Oh my Goddess relax, Wormmon! The game hasn't even come out yet. If you can't play a game that's more than a few months old, you're the worst kind of gamer."

The Worm King in drag gets even more upset. He starts swinging his fists around in the air. "To hell with you and your old school games! You're not leet 'nless you are playin' the newest game." Wormmon takes a moment to cool down. "But ya, this game is pretty fun." "Well you did play it all night." Wormmon shows Eva and Dante some of the game's menu screens and features. "Okay, so this is yer party. Big dumb guy, white mage, black mage, bla bla, typical garbage. Only now you can cus-mo-mize attacks onta weapons, but ya need ta grind to get eternal stones and ogre dust..."

Wormmon goes on and on about the game, no doubt driving Eva and Dante up the wall. "Is there multiplayer?" "Ya. There's even fun mini games and giant chicken races." Dante finishes his pizza and picks up a controller. "Let's start with slaughterin' a buncha enemies, then play some mini games." The trio plays Ultimate Journey for a while. Dante's sister Judith comes walking out wearing a baggy shirt and sweat pants. "Geez, sis, you could at least try to dress up a bit. We have company. This is our friend Eva." Judith notices the half robotic Renamon sitting next to her brother. "Hey there. I'm Judith. You don't look like a lot of Digimon Dante meets." "How rude! Being a robot is so boss."

"I told Eva she could stay with us for a while. You don't mind, do you?" "That's fine. Although I would have appreciated if you asked first." "I'm so excited Eva's going to be stayin', you guys! Another Digimon 'round. Now if Dante moved out..." Judith goes into the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee and grab some pizza. "Slow down on that pizza. You didn't used to have a gut on you." Judith walks over to Dante and smacks him with a magazine. "Shut up, Dante! You don't know anything about a woman's body." "Ohh sick burn!" "Ya ya, weight gain, calories, whatever. I have the body of a gymnast."

As per usual, whenever everyone in the house is in the same room, sparks fire. And adding Eva into the mix shakes things up even more. The gang went through the different characters, gearing up their party for some good ol' fashion pwnage. Wait, it's 2017. There's no way people still use that word. Also as per usual, Wormmon's mouth was getting him into some hot water. It seems Eva takes offense to the term robot, seeing as how it wasn't exactly accurate. "What's that? You don't like being called a robot? Why not?! Robots are so chill." "You'll have to forgive Wormmon. He doesn't understand Human society or politeness."

Wormmon opens up a new pack of chocolate bars and starts gourging himself on chocolate. Dante leaves himself open by saying he has the body of a gymnast. Eva took the chance to get a dig in. Wormmon laughs and nearly spills wrappers on the floor. "Dante you're a skinny fat person!" Despite his wide range of favorite foods and often times unhealthy snacking, Dante has a very slim and lanky frame. "I stay in shape by doing my stretches and jogging." "I never see you stretching. And since when do you jog?!" "It's smoking all those cigarettes that keeps the weight off." "That, and you don't wanna go in the bathroom after Dante's been in there. All that spicy food, oh boy!" "Alright alright, that's enough. That's not how you talk when there are ladies present. Let's get back to playing this game."

Wormmon customizes his large chested black mage, giving her very skimpy black and purple robes with crazy purple hair. Dante goes with the game's main protagonist character, an annoying teenage boy who looks like a girl, with long blonde hair. Hmm, I wonder why Dante would choose that character. He changes his gear to black leather armor with a red scarf, giving him a rouge like vibe. After passing over a dozen comically oversized swords, Dante chooses an elaborate katana, equipped with a bonus to speed. The three of them head on to the next area to fight stronger monsters. With Eva's barbarian, Wormmon's black mage, and Dante's rouge, they have all the key areas covered, creating a balanced dynamic.

Wormmon finishes eating another chocolate bar, and wipes his chocolatey hands off on the couch. Judith notices Wormmon eating all the chocolate bars, and snatches the rest away. "No, my chocolate!" "You've had enough. And clean up those wrappers." "I'm busy. Can't you do it for me?" "One of these days, you're going to learn what it's like to be responsible." Judith begrudgingly grabs the wrappers and goes to the kitchen. Wormmon could at least try to behave. She grabs some more pizza and coffee and sits down on the couch next to Wormmon. "So, what kind of game is this?" "Well Judith, you're not really the gaming type. You don't play JRPGs. I don't have the energy to explain the basics." "Wormmon, stop being such an elitist snob! Ugh, it's so difficult to tolerate you without wine." "Well then quit your bellyaching and open a bottle. Quit distracting me, you guys. I'm trying to set giant mushrooms on fire."

Wormmon takes a moment to ponder over the process of becoming a cyborg. "Hmm, let's see... So you're part robot, but are you more machine than fox? And why always with the glowing eyes?" "Again, please forgive Wormmon. The only kind of robotics Wormmon understands is the kind from movies and video games." Dante understands what Eva is getting at, but it passes right over Wormmon's head, antennas and all.

During a loading screen, Dante gets up to grab a bottle of wine and some glasses. Eva's going with beer, and even flips the cap off with a bottle opener. Judith gives her a fist bump, well, paw bump. Wormmon's toilet humor is definitely killing everyone's buzz. Dante sets the glasses and bottle of wine down on the coffee table. He pours Judith and himself a glass. "Cheers." Everyone but Wormmon clinks their drink. "Hey, no fair! I didn't get to do it."

The gang goes along and starts clearing out mobs like Dante eating pizza pockets after 2 am. "Ha-ho! Take that you goblin swine!" Eva takes offense to Wormmon being a snob to Judith. She starts walking into his black mage with the much larger barbarian. "Hey, stop that. Your ass is blocking half the screen! Okay, okay, I'll apologize." Wormmon sets the controller down and crawls up onto Judith's lap. Judith sets her glass of wine down on the coffee table. "Judith, I'm sorry for being such a butt spaz. I know I say things I'm not supposed to say. But what I really meant to say was, you're really pretty, and you should totally start playing more video games."

Judith can't resist giving Wormmon a big hug. "Oh, come here, little guy." Judith hugs Wormmon super tight, squishing his face into her breasts. "BrRAWrWR-RbBRARohaArarAAAAH!" After that unintentional motor boating, Wormmon picks up his controller, still sitting up Judith's lap like a kitty. A slimy, green bug kitty. Wormmon even starts to purr, but it sounds like a cockroach exhaling all the air out of its body.

Back to the game, the gang happily goes along, ganking wave after wave of goblins, raptor beasts, and ice witches with too much skin showing, nothing posing much of a challenge. They grind their levels up, and upgrade some of their abilities. They reach the far end of the valley and approach the path to the next level. It's a narrow path leading to a rope bridge to the next area. One wrong step and the player could fall right off the edge. Out of nowhere the ground starts to shake. The camera cuts away to a big angry Goblin King charging towards the party. He signals for his minions to release a boulder to fall down, blocking the path.

"Great, obligatory boss battle at the end of the level. Let's bring this sucker down." "I think you and the Goblin King should talk out your differences instead of fighting." "Never design a video game, sis." (Thinking) "Eh... Judith's Super Happy Coffee Time Game! You get to play as a person sitting around drinking coffee and talking about all the latest trends and celebrity gossip. No, what about a dating simulator? With vampires as romantic interests."

Dante casts a speed buff on the party and charges in for a quick strike. He slashes at the Goblin King with his katana, but it does very low damage. The king swats Dante away with his giant spiked club, sending him flying back. The king grabs a nearby rock and hurls it at Dante. He dodges to the side to avoid the rock, but gets close to the edge. "Don't get too close to the edge, Dante! This fatso's trying to give out free skydiving lessons." Finally, this fight would prove to be a challenge. A fine way to test their playing skills, and their newly unlocked abilities.