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Electronic Communication (Nanako)
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jun 21, 2017 1:32:21 GMT
Normally, this was one of Elliot's favorite days. Sure, the current raid in WoW had been going on for what felt like an eternity, but there was still so much to enjoy. The gameplay was fun, at least in Elliot's books. Isaac might've rolled his eyes and called it repetitive, but it at least had Elliot hooked. There was also a rarity in Elliot's life, excitement and adventure without the ever-present fear of death! Was it sad that the Digital World had him thinking about that? Probably.
The most important thing to Elliot, however, was a chance to kick back and relax with friends. He had been playing with his current guild for almost two years now. By now, they had gone from distant acquaintances to some of his closest online friends. He may not have seen them every day like his school friends, but he still spent boatloads of time with them. He was every bit as bright and sunny on voice chat as he was in his day to day life, and there were even some he felt comfortable enough with to fret over their problems when they were feeling down. While he did a passable job at leadership as the guild's secondary tank, the main thing he was known for was his constant drive to brighten everyone's day.
That made it all the more odd that he played with his mic muted today.
Frankly, as hard as Elliot was trying to see the bright side in life, his brother's disappearance was making that really difficult. Food didn't taste as good anymore. His grades were starting to slip, if a few missed or half-assed homework assignments were enough to count as a proper slip. He hadn't even been to the Digital World since that fateful day! At this point Elliot was just hoping he could distract himself from all of these emotions in a tried-and-true method; holing up, watching cartoons, and playing craptons of video games.
Unfortunately, it wasn't working. Not even hearing how happy his guild was to see him was helping Elliot with his sorrows. He certainly wasn't as snappy with his jokes as usual, only making a half-hearted few before deciding to just mute his microphone. His playing ability had gone down as well. He missed his cue on taunt swaps by a precious few seconds, and at once point had completely botched a normally obvious fight mechanic. A few apologies in guild chat were basically the most he could do. What was he supposed to say? "An extradimnesional slime monster turned my brother into an imp and sealed him in a parallel world?" That would just get him laughed at for sure!
No. He had to keep playing. His guild needed him, even if he wasn't at 100%. And maybe, just maybe, he could push through the crushing ennui and find the happiness he was after.
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Post by Nanako Uehara on Jun 21, 2017 3:01:01 GMT
Nanako was far from the most talkative WoW raider, at least over voice. She preferred to keep everything that wasn't about crucial fight mechanics in text chat. It was just easier for her to type than to speak since she had plenty of chances to think on what to say and erase any stupid mistakes. That didn't mean she didn't listen, though, especially when it came to the sunny words of the guild's second tank, screenname ThePunIsher. Before she'd entered high school, Nanako had used his words for comfort, even if she'd never told him about her issues (or any aspects of her real life, really). He always had a way of brightening up any situation ranging from a boss fight gone sour to someone having a bad day in real life.
So, of course, it was noticeable that he was quiet that night.
Nanako, unfortunately, had no idea how to deal with that. She was so torn between keeping her usual quietness over voice and piping up to make sure his mic hadn't died or something that she botched an obvious fight mechanic right along with ThePunIsher. A quick "Oops, sorry" would have to be enough to tide the guild over for now. She didn't just want to do nothing about this, though. It was weird, not having ThePunIsher say anything besides a few halfhearted jokes at the start of the night. So when she got a chance between fights, she sent a couple of quick messages to him:
From ThreadsofFate: Hey.
From ThreadsofFate: You've been quiet tonight.
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jun 21, 2017 19:15:17 GMT
Normally, Elliot was used to seeing people's names pop up in private chat in WoW. Between the buddies he talked to regularly, the occasional random strangers who bugged him to join guilds or help with achievements, and even the awkward time that somebody started flirting with him, there was practically always a splash or pink or cyan text scrolling down his screen. That said, not all whispers were as expected as others. Today's in particular left Elliot doing a double take when he saw it.
To put it blunt, ThreadsOfFate was almost like the guild ghost. The main reason why Elliot was able to identify her when she called out mechanics was because he could already put a name to everyone else's voice. That was the only time during which she popped up, too. She rarely, if ever, joined the group's regular conversations. About the only things that Elliot knew about her were that she was a girl who sounded about his age and probably the only other person in the guild who played Tauren. Basic stuff.
Occasionally Elliot tried to reach out to her, but he never really got much response. Eventually he just stopped, if only because it was clear she was uninterested in talking at best or uncomfortable with it at worst. In retrospect, maybe it was a bit of a personal breach. He was so used to chatting with the rest of his guild about their personal lives that he may have overstepped. At the same time, that could've just been anxieties talking. He may've been very gregarious, but he still found himself worrying about how people would respond to it.
That made it all the more shocking to see that now she was the one reaching out to him. He froze up, nearly missing the guild feast despawning in his shock. After quickly rectifying that problem he turned to chat, drumming his fingers on the keyboard as he tried to think just what to say back. "Um, I . . . " he said, briefly forgetting that his microphone was off. Right. Nobody would hear that.
After a somewhat disconcerting period of silence, fingers finally hit the keyboard.
From ThePunIsher: Oh. Just some mic problems.
From ThePunIsher: Sorry.
Such a graceful dodge! Except, you know. It wasn't. |
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Post by Nanako Uehara on Jun 22, 2017 2:02:59 GMT
Nanako frowned and hummed at how long the response took, a sound that would go unheard by the rest of the guild thanks to the magic of push-to-talk (which Nanako has quickly started using when her guild called her out on murmuring to herself or grunting as if she was the one putting in the effort, not her character). She sent her first reply before she'd given herself time to think about what that pause had meant:
From ThreadsofFate: Oh.
But then she thought of something else:
From ThreadsofFate: You talked earlier, though.
From ThreadsofFate: And you sounded different than normal.
It was less of an accusation and more of an observation. Though that made the whole situation weirder, if Nanako stopped to think about it. This wasn't weird as in his mic quality was dropping before it died entirely. It was the kind of weird where you could tell a different writer was on board for a video game or anime spin-off. The same character was still talking, and they (usually) still had the same voice actor and everything, but the words they said just weren't quite right; in this case, it was like the writer had neglected to add any of the usual cheer to ThePunIsher's speech. Actually, it reminded Nanako of the Dreams of Fighters card game spin-off and how the writers had totally screwed up Masahiro's personality, changing him from a cheerful go-getter who acted before he thought into a clumsy idiot who totally ignored common sense. Ugh, if the game itself hadn't been so fun...
Someone in the guild talking over voice chat brought Nanako back to the game. Right, they had to finish this raid, didn't they? She scanned her chat log for any messages from ThePunIsher now that she was paying attention again.
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jun 22, 2017 2:28:56 GMT
Crap. She was onto him. Not that Elliot was surprised, though. His excuse was a really lame one, and frankly he would've floored if she didn't call him out on it. Interestingly enough, he didn't get any accusatory vibes from what she ended up saying, even though it was a plain-as-day presentation of his own contradictions. Rather, it was more . . . passive? Was there a slight tone of disappointment to it, maybe? Elliot really had no idea how to sum up the feelings he got from seeing ThreadsofFate's words on the screen.
He thought about trying to come up with another excuse, or at least continuing to push this one. He could say the mic died midway through, for example, and he'd be his usual sunny self as soon as it was fixed up. That would be a lie, though, and the more he lied about this the worse he would feel. At the same time, what could he even say? He ground his teeth together in frustration, wishing that his obligations to the guild didn't get him in this frustrating situation.
Then again, he couldn't keep moping around inside forever. Kuu tried to tell him that, and he at least got Elliot looking on the bright side of life. Karin practically dragged him across town, and that at least got Elliot going outside again. It was a slow, sure process, but there was a heavy emphasis on the slow. Maybe this was another one of those important steps, even if the mere idea of it was getting Elliot's stomach tied up in knots.
He nervously drummed his fingers on the keyboard, watching as the pull timer started counting down from 10. If he was going to say something he'd need to say it fast, or else he'd have to wait for a comfortable enough position in the fight.
7 . . .
6 . . .
5 . . .
From ThePunIsher: I'm just not feeling great.
4 . . .
3 . . .
From ThePunIsher: Sorry for worrying you . . .
He finished just in time. Sighing deeply, Elliot sat up straight and fixed his eyes on the fight about to begin. Or, at least, he tried to. His eyes kept wandering to the chat, as if hoping he'd see something pop up.
He just didn't want to feel so alone. |
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Post by Nanako Uehara on Jun 22, 2017 3:56:48 GMT
The pull timer started counting down without any replies coming in. Well, that was that, she supposed. If ThePunIsher's mic wasn't working, there wasn't much anyone could do about it except maybe buy him a new one, but he'd probably take care of that himself. Heck, even if Nanako did want to go through the trouble of asking for his address (which would be creepy and make her look like some kind of stalker) and sending him a new mic, she didn't even know what kind to get him. She'd just grabbed the cheapest headset during one of her trips to an electronics store since she rarely bothered voice chatting. Surely, someone who talked as much as ThePunIsher had invested in something decent, at least.
Nanako was about to shift back into raid mode when at the five-second mark, she got a reply:
From ThePunIsher: I'm just not feeling great.
Nanako's expert fingers flew across the keyboard to get a reply in before the pull:
From ThreadsofFate: Get well soon
Her ring finger missed the period key in her haste, but she didn't have time to correct it. Oh, well.
From ThePunIsher: Sorry for worrying you . . .
His last message came in just as the main tank pulled the boss. She wanted to reply with a quick "It's okay" or something, but she'd learned long, long ago that trying to type and fight at the same time was a disaster waiting to happen. It either meant she tried to type when the text box wasn't selected and ended up spazzing in place with five new menus open or ended up with a string of numbers in the chat input from trying (and failing) to use her spells. It was one of the few things she failed at multitasking with. It'd just have to wait until after the fight.
Though the ellipses at the end were a bit weird, Nanako realized as the group whittled the boss's health down. She'd have to make sure to add a smiley at the end of her message when she got the chance to send it.
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jun 22, 2017 4:12:28 GMT
Elliot jumped slightly as ThreadsofFate's message came in between his own. He didn't notice at first, but she had expertly timed it right in the middle of them. Did she have a really good reaction time? Or was she watching the chat just as intently as him. Elliot hadn't been expecting her to be so quick on the draw with chat, honestly. She always seemed like she didn't have much interest in chatting, based on their few past interactions. He had figured he'd need to wait a minute or two between messages if anything. Not less than a second!
Maybe she was watching the chat just as intently as he was. Was she worried about him? God, now Elliot felt even worse for having to keep this all secret.
If it was hard to focus on the boss before, now it was even harder to. Guilt was one hell of a distraction. He let out soft murmurs as he tried to remember his skill timings, often hitting abilities a precious split-second too late. Maybe that was fine. He wasn't dying, at least. However, the healers would certainly notice that he was dipping to low levels of HP more often than usual. Maybe it would be fine if he just didn't draw attention to it. All he had to do was stay alive, right? Beating the boss was what mattered, not his individual performance.
Occasionally, during more quiet moments of the fight, he gave an anxious look to the chat bar. Boss fight notifications had basically drowned out all of his earlier messages from ThreadsofFate, but they were still fresh in his memory. Had there been any others? He was far too distracted to properly notice. Nevertheless, he couldn't keep the urge to respond at bay.
While the boss was busy changing phases, Elliot decided to throw caution to the wind. He slammed the enter button and started typing away.
From ThePunIsher: thank you
Would the all lowercase make him seem too sad, even though he was busy? Great, now that was another thing he'd be worried about . . . |
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Post by Nanako Uehara on Jun 22, 2017 19:58:01 GMT
Her response had been automatic, the first thing that had come to mind when she saw he wasn't "feeling great." In her mind, that equated to feeling sick, which would explain why he'd sounded so different when he had talked at the beginning of the night. It didn't explain a lot of the other things Nanako had time to think of over the course of the fight. Like why he'd lied and said his mic was broken. Or why the message he'd sent right after Nanako's had been so... weird. It probably would have been normal if not for the ellipses. They didn't seem like they belonged at the end of that sentence.
Too much of her focus was on the fight for her to figure out the whys. ThePunIsher's HP kept dipping way too low for Nanako's comfort; she felt her fingers tense over her mouse and keyboard as she sent healing spells his way. Being a healer was a lot more reactionary than being a tank or damage dealer. In addition to learning fight mechanics, she also had to be prepared for someone to mess up and lose a chunk of HP for her to heal. It made the fights a lot more exciting, that was for sure, but sometimes, she missed just mindlessly smacking the boss around while a video or anime episode played on her second monitor. (Not that she didn't have a video playing on that second monitor now; it was just harder to pay attention to it.)
She glanced at her chat during the phase change when something that wasn't a raid alert caught her eye:
From ThePunIsher: thank you
She didn't think much about how it was all in lower-case. At least that made sense in the middle of a fight.
From ThreadsofFate: : )
And thus, the fight was rejoined.
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jun 22, 2017 20:56:06 GMT
Another really quick message from ThreadsofFate showed up on Elliot's screen. She was really on the ball about this, wasn't she? Then again, it was just a smiley face. She could've just quickly typed it up between phases. However, the fast response time, even in such a quiet part of the fight, still stuck in Elliot's brain. He could only imagine that she was shooting the chat the same nervous looks that he was, even when 99% of the messages were just that the boss was using his abilities.
The fight was almost over now, at least. The boss had just exited his last transition phase, and between his low HP and the raid buffs going out it would be only a matter of time before he melted under the sheer damage output that was going out. Even better, the main tank was on add handling duty, so Elliot didn't have to worry any longer about facing, positioning, or any sort of mechanic. All he had to do was not die, for just a little bit longer.
Even with the glances he kept stealing at the chat, Elliot managed to accomplish this part without a hitch. Or, at least, he was able to with the help of some really talented healing. When the boss fell he let out an audible sigh of relief.
Now it was time for loot to be given out. That was always nice, at least. He didn't need anything the place dropped anymore, but it was fun hearing people get excited over lucky drops and chat when the dust settled. He wasn't joining in tonight, of course, but he could at least still try and share in others' joy.
There was just something important he needed to address first. Maybe it was guilt talking, but he felt like he just couldn't let his brief chat with ThreadsofFate hang on a smiley face like that. Quickly, almost unthinkingly, he began typing out a response.
From ThePunIsher: Please, don't worry about me.
From ThePunIsher: I'm fine.
If only Elliot knew those 7 words were basically code for 'I am not fine, please worry about me.'
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Post by Nanako Uehara on Jun 23, 2017 4:06:58 GMT
Nanako hadn't wanted to heal at first. She'd joined as a DPS, but the group had had too many of those already, so she'd been forced to switch over to healing until the group could make room for her. Sure, she would have rather been taking down the bosses with her spells or ripping through them with her cat form's claws, but healing had turned out to have its own charms. It felt good to save someone from the brink of virtual death, even if it wasn't quite the same as taking down a powerful foe with a barrage of skills. She'd read forum and blog posts of healers ranting about how they could just let the party die if they sucked, but Nanako didn't see the appeal in that. It was more fun to feel like the hero who'd saved the tank and, thus, the entire party from certain demise. It was cool.
She pumped her fist and whispered out a little "Yes!" of victory when the gloves she'd been after dropped. No wipes and sweet loot made for a good raid night. Then, in the sea of congratulations and cheers, two other messages appeared:
From ThePunIsher: Please, don't worry about me.
From ThePunIsher: I'm fine.
Now, Nanako wasn't afraid to admit that she wasn't always the best at reading between the lines, at least not in real life. TV shows and video games usually had visual or musical queues or showed certain scenes to tell the audience when someone didn't quite mean what they said. Real life was a lot more complicated, especially over text, one of the few disadvantages of using it over voice chat. But ThePunIsher's words sent alarm bells through Nanako's head. They reminded Nanako of too many situations where a character had said that when things were going wrong but they didn't want to worry anybody. With a start, Nanako realized that they even reminded her of herself when she had just wanted to be left alone and not have to talk about the bullies at her school.
For several seconds, Nanako just stared at the screen, frozen by indecision. Obviously, things weren't fine. Something was up if ThePunIsher was talking like that. Or maybe it was nothing? That's where the hard part of text came in. Maybe he was being totally honest and was fine, just sick. And if he wasn't, did he even want her to ask about it? Nanako rested her elbows on her desk and held her head up by her fists. Argh, why did this suddenly get so hard? WoW was supposed to be a way to distract her from this real-life crap, and now this was happening. Things were so much easier when she was just dealing with raid mechanics.
From ThreadsofFate: You sure?
She sent the message without really thinking it through. It seemed like a good way to ask without prodding, but what would Nanako even say if he said that things actually weren't okay? She didn't know how to comfort people aside from making them stuffed animals or showing them funny videos, and the former was still out of the question.
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jun 24, 2017 7:06:54 GMT
Of course. How did Elliot expect any other response but 'You Sure?' He let out a sigh of resignation, drumming his fingers anxiously on the keyboard. On one hand, this at least showed somebody cared enough about him to keep asking. On the other hand, it meant it would be really hard to disengage from this situation as cleanly as he wished to. What could he even do? Tell the person who kept messaging him 'please stop writing to me' and leave her hurting in the process? Just ignore her, and leave her wondering if he's even here? Keep coming up with BS excuses?
From ThePunIsher: I will be, at least.
It was something, at least. Now he didn't have to lie, or worry ThreadsofFate. It was just the truth. An optimistically tinted version of the truth, but still the truth. Getting that off of his chest felt nice, at the very least. Maybe, deep down, he also thought that he'd be okay. Isaac was resourceful and brave, even if he was also in a really bad situation. And others were starting to dispel some of the clouds clogging up his normally sunny outlook, ThreadsofFate included. He just had to keep hoping, right? And yet, if it didn't . . .
Maybe Elliot should stop thinking about this. He needed to get his mind off of this.
From ThePunIsher: You've been healing really well lately, by the way.
From ThePunIsher: Thank you!
Yes. Start talking about the game again while playing the game. That was a great way to push the conversation off of his shoulders, while also giving some attention to someone who was doing a great job at healing him in and out of the game alike.
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Post by Nanako Uehara on Jun 26, 2017 17:35:34 GMT
Nanako pursed her lips and hummed at the screen, considering ThePunIsher's reply. He said he'd be fine, so that was okay, right? What else could Nanako even do in this situation? Pressing for more was out of the question for multiple reasons. Then, a flash of inspiration hit. Of course--her affection meter with him was probably still too low for him to reveal anything. If she wanted the full story, heartfelt confession and all, she'd have to raise it. But... that probably meant revealing more about her own personal life, something that always made Nanako hesitate with people who didn't know her personally. And she still didn't know what she'd do if she did get the whole story. Bah, why couldn't real life have dialogue choices?
Fortunately, it didn't look like she'd have to worry about that for now since ThePunIsher had redirected the conversation to the game itself. Now that was a conversation topic Nanako could get behind. A slight smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she cast a Regrowth spell on ThePunIsher's character, partially as confirmation, partially as a show of solidarity, and partially so she could see how her numbers had risen with her new gloves.
From ThreadsofFate: Thanks.
From ThreadsofFate: I was a bit worried at some parts, but we pulled through.
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jun 30, 2017 5:52:33 GMT
Worried. Right. Elliot's subpar tanking today probably didn't make the rest of the fight any easier. He smiled a little sadly behind his monitor, knowing that ThreadsofFate probably didn't mean any harm by her statement. She was just talking about the game, and hey, she wasn't inaccurate. Still, he figured he should at least take responsibility for not living up to his own role and standards in that fight, both for himself and for the rest of his guild.
From ThePunIsher: Right.
From ThePunIsher: Sorry about that.
Would the apology trouble her more, though? Elliot hadn't exactly been on fire with his words today, and he was a little nervous that apologizing to someone who was already worried about him would just have that same net effect. Besides, the whole point of him changing the subject was to try and make her feel better. If he ended up making her feel worse in the end, that would just kill the point! He had to try and find some way to double back from this.
From ThePunIsher: Was all thanks to you, though.
From ThePunIsher: Seriously, you're on fire.
Much better. |
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Post by Nanako Uehara on Jul 2, 2017 20:12:34 GMT
Nanako's head lulled to one side as she considered the first part of ThePunIsher's reply. She'd never tanked a raid before, so she wasn't sure of the specifics that went behind it. She knew there were cooldowns that helped them not die as fast that they usually had to fire off at certain times, and she knew that they had to keep aggro on enemies to keep them from roflstomping the rest of the party, but that was about it. ThePunIsher had clearly done his job right on both of those ends, so why was he apologizing?
While she mulled this over, another pair of messages thanking her popped up in the chat box. She replied:
From ThreadsofFate: Thanks!
From ThreadsofFate: I'll probably do even better with these new gloves.
But she just couldn't drop his apology. She let out four short hums as she tilted her head back and forth, stirring around the thoughts she had floating in there. Finally, she decided to just say what she'd been thinking:
From ThreadsofFate: We beat the fight, and we didn't wipe.
From ThreadsofFate: That's all that really matters in the end.
From ThreadsofFate: Right?
The last message came almost immediately after the second. Sure, some people were all about maxing out DPS numbers and stuff, and getting those high numbers was awesome, but the most important part was getting through the fight and nabbing that sweet, sweet loot. It wasn't like you got anything special for pumping up your numbers.
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Post by Elliot and Isaac Sunderland on Jul 16, 2017 3:00:24 GMT
It was always good to see the healer get loot. They basically carried the raid on their backs, and strong healers helped make sure none of the rest of the raid exploded too quickly. And hell, after helping him avoid exploding on several cooldowns hit a second too late, ThreadsOfFate certainly proved that she deserved it. Heck, in Elliot's books she was the MVP that raid.
She tried to reassure him. Maybe it was Elliot's somewhat sore mood, but it seemed almost dismissive to him. Then again, he shelved those worries just as quickly as he had them. She was just trying to help, after all. Tone was hard to read through text, and it was just his own insecurities making him have that kind of thought.
From ThePunIsher: Yeah.
From ThePunIsher: Yeah, I guess you're right.
They didn't die, and the boss did. Heck, there weren't even any raid members unfairly killed by botched mechanics. Most of the weight of Elliot's failures fell solidly on his shoulders, not the rest of the raid's. Maybe that meant today hadn't gone so badly after all, and he was just beating himself up over little mistakes that couldn't be helped.
Agh. His brain was playing 4-dimension guilt chess with itself now. Time to change the subject.
From ThePunIsher: How've you been?
From ThePunIsher: Sorry for not asking earlier.
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