Alan's Journal
Oct 3, 2018 2:49:56 GMT
Post by Alan Pantell on Oct 3, 2018 2:49:56 GMT
This journal is dedicated to whoever cares to read it. I would never want to talk your ear off about my thoughts and feelings, but the fact that you're going out of your way to read them means the world to me.
Entry #1 - The Intersection
September 2018
If what had happened to me earlier today had happened to someone else, and if that person were to describe the event in the journal, they likely would focus more on the event itself. However, with despite more pressing matters quite literally looming over my shoulder (hello,) I'd like to take a moment to explain myself. There is one person in particular who I wish would see this, and so I address this to them. I acted insane and unnatural, and I would once again like to apologize. These are the things that bother me, and so I have been trying to reason out why I could have possible acted in that fashion. And I may have stumbled upon a conclusion:
Imagine, if you will, an intersection, with a large, even number of roads stretching in every direction. The point where all of the roads meet represents the point at which thoughts exit my mind as words or actions. On each of these roads is one car, all driving at the same speed, at the same distance, towards the intersection. All on a collision course. Each of these cars represents something such as a want, a need, or a bit of information regarding my situation. Cars driving in opposing directions contradict each other, like so:
A desire to seem cool and collected -> Falling on my face as a first impression
A desire to please everyone -> human inability to eat two meals at once
A desire to know just what the hell is going on -> A desire not to seem "rude"
Hope that there is truly something more to be discovered from the world -> A desire to not to be disappointed by waking up from a fantastical dream
I'm sure you get the idea. Caught between the reasoning of action and inaction, I overthought myself into a state of paralysis. And just then...
The cars all collided with one another. They collided, since I was not willing to compromise. To slow some of them down so that they may pass through the intersection safely.
I...
I'm sorry I'm such a ham...
You're more aware of what happens next than I was. This thing... you called it a "digivice," had displaced my phone when I attempted to reach for it. I appear to have gained a new friend, (yes, hello) and I have made it back to the hotel with no further incident. But what happens now? Where do I go with a friend who can't be out in public? What do I say to him? Forget it. I'll likely hide this and never look at it again. Most people who read this would just be more confused. Goodbye.
Faint, halfhearted scribbles cover the page.
After the entry an addendum has been added, in blue ink, with no clear date:
Is it really that hard to just talk?
Entry #1 - The Intersection
September 2018
If what had happened to me earlier today had happened to someone else, and if that person were to describe the event in the journal, they likely would focus more on the event itself. However, with despite more pressing matters quite literally looming over my shoulder (hello,) I'd like to take a moment to explain myself. There is one person in particular who I wish would see this, and so I address this to them. I acted insane and unnatural, and I would once again like to apologize. These are the things that bother me, and so I have been trying to reason out why I could have possible acted in that fashion. And I may have stumbled upon a conclusion:
Imagine, if you will, an intersection, with a large, even number of roads stretching in every direction. The point where all of the roads meet represents the point at which thoughts exit my mind as words or actions. On each of these roads is one car, all driving at the same speed, at the same distance, towards the intersection. All on a collision course. Each of these cars represents something such as a want, a need, or a bit of information regarding my situation. Cars driving in opposing directions contradict each other, like so:
A desire to seem cool and collected -> Falling on my face as a first impression
A desire to please everyone -> human inability to eat two meals at once
A desire to know just what the hell is going on -> A desire not to seem "rude"
Hope that there is truly something more to be discovered from the world -> A desire to not to be disappointed by waking up from a fantastical dream
I'm sure you get the idea. Caught between the reasoning of action and inaction, I overthought myself into a state of paralysis. And just then...
The cars all collided with one another. They collided, since I was not willing to compromise. To slow some of them down so that they may pass through the intersection safely.
I...
I'm sorry I'm such a ham...
You're more aware of what happens next than I was. This thing... you called it a "digivice," had displaced my phone when I attempted to reach for it. I appear to have gained a new friend, (yes, hello) and I have made it back to the hotel with no further incident. But what happens now? Where do I go with a friend who can't be out in public? What do I say to him? Forget it. I'll likely hide this and never look at it again. Most people who read this would just be more confused. Goodbye.
Faint, halfhearted scribbles cover the page.
After the entry an addendum has been added, in blue ink, with no clear date:
Is it really that hard to just talk?