MPC 82B: Enter the Dante (Finished/Now in Theaters)

And so the dark haired Dante and the empowered Rava perform various training exercises to various humorous extents as Wormmon sings. After going on some side quests, and featuring the token romantic subplot that every western movie must have, the heroes reach the base of the big baddie.

"It has come to this. It's all or nothing."
"We must defeat the evil that is here. Then we will go to Chicken Hut and get the new chicken bucket combo meal with a side of donuts for a limited time only."
"That was random. Remember when product placement didn't wreck the movie?"

Rava is now wearing a jumpsuit covered in logos and an Adidas hat.

"It's like people will do stuff just to get paid, and that's just really sad."
"We are ripping off Wayne's World now? Let's just get shooting done for the day. It's 3 am!"

The duo approach a highly advanced modern building that clashes with the time period the film is set it. They walk up to the doors, but are greeted by a large Russian security guard.

"N'yet! Pretty boy and creepy girl not allowed! Boss displeased."
"Vyacheslav, what are you doing here? I mean, let us in, you big dumb gorilla!"
"For crying out loud, Ravenna! Mr. Director, can you find me an actress that is not all looks and no talent?"
"So you think I'm cute, do you now?"

"Enough. No one's buying any chemistry between you two. You are both unlikable and I'm actively rooting for you to kill each other. We'll fix this disaster in post. And, action!"

The Russian guard pulls a level and a trap door opens up beneath the heroes. They fall down, yadda yadda yadda, end up in a cage in a laboratory. Spooky opera music plays on an organ. Light blue and yellow lights are flashing. The lighting turns red as a scream is heard. The lights go back to normal, as a metal platform lowers down from the ceiling. A man with long black hair wearing a white suit appears on the platform.

"Who dares challenge my reign?"
"It's the leader of the evil council! Professor Rammstein!"
"We are here to defeat the you which is here."

"Ah ha aha haa! You think that the likes of you can make a difference? I run a multi billion dollar corporation! I have connections with every social media platform and news outlet available. The world's leaders are all on my payroll. I have all your information at my fingertips. I control Japan's military, and I was voted 4th sexiest CEO alive last year! You can't possibly hope to defeat me."

"Well then, are you hiring?"
"No."
"Dang. Well then, I'm not quite sure exactly."
"I've toyed with you long enough. I'm going to place you in an easily escapable death trap and leave you alone."

The floor opens up to reveal a pool with freaking sharks with freaking laser beams on their heads.

"Have you even heard of copyright infringement, Mr. Director?"
"Call me daddy."
"What?"
"Oh, sorry. I thought Ravenna was talking."

Professor Rammstein leaves as the floor over the pool slowly retracts. One of the sharks fires a laser near Rava.

"That was close! Can we take five? Let us out!"
"I said you have to do your own stunts. Keep rolling."

One of the sharks blasts Dante with a laser and he falls in the water. The sharks circle Dante and start attacking him as he screams out in agony.

Skip forward to when Dante and Ravenna are in Piedmon's office watching the tape. Ravenna looks pissed off, and Dante is in a body cast.

"What do you want me to say? It's in your contracts that you do your own stunts."
"Listen, you are going to pull your head out of your rear, or we will see you in court! All this director stuff has gone to your head. You're not a good writer, you're not a good director, and you are not as bad at acting as Ravenna, but you are a bad actor. It doesn't matter how much you like theater. You're just not good."

Piedmon starts to tear up and wipes his eyes with his handkerchief.

"No, you're right. I'm an amateur. I'm no Spielberg, I'm Stinkberg. I'll never be a world class thespian!"
"Yes you will. Here's what we will do. Get me a skimpy outfit, and have Rava fight Professor Rammstein on her own."
"And then can Rava have a fanservice scene with the professor's team of sexy robot ladies?"
"You are so lucky you are already in a body cast."

And so Ravenna paraded around in a skimpy outfit and defeated Professor Rammstein in an epic battle that makes Goku and John Cena look like bitches, and the film was saved. Many fanboys rejoiced seeing a no brain action film with partial nudity. Piedmon bribed the judges to win Director of the Year, Writer or the Year, and Ravenna won Best Lead Actress. Dante and Ravenna both vowed to never work with Piedmon Productions again, until the sequel that will never happen.
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Word Count: 1841
Reward: Bits please