Tangled Spirits [Makoto]

It was a pleasant day, Makoto would muse to themself as they walked up the winding path that led its way to the monastery. The weather was pleasant, with clear blue skies and a gentle breeze, and all the sights that Blossom Isles had to offer were - as always - beautiful. Though many things weighed on the fox's mind, it was hard to not feel a sense of serenity and peace in one's surroundings, prompting Makoto to take in a deep breath, before gently relaxing.

Kuro, too, seemed to share in these feelings - a sense of calm coming off of the shadow as it peered at the petals drifting along on the wind, from a nearby sakura tree. Though that being said, Makoto could also feel the concern that Kuro felt as it occasionally peered to their mind, as if to see if they were alright.

Which, Makoto liked to think that they were. They certainly were right now, in the moment - but... There, nonetheless, were concerns that needed addressing - things that they couldn't put off, else it come around to bite them on the tail.

Thus, the duo would waste no time in entering the monastery - it not taking very long for them to catch Toki's scent on the air, the smell of a human distinct from that of a digimon. (Though that being said, Toki always did have subtle undertones to his scent - smelling of the moon, of beast digimon, of sakura blossoms - perhaps thanks to being a Spirit User.)

It wouldn't take long to find him, either - Makoto glancing over to the young man with a smile as they stepped out into the training grounds, and offering him a brief and respectful bow. "Thank you for coming out to speak with me, Toki darling." They'd mention as they rose, tails swishing a little. "How have you been - have you been enjoying this nice weather, too?"

A gentle and polite nudge at Toki's mind would precede Kuro's own greeting - a softspoken and shy <Hello,> as the shadow settled down at Makoto's feet.

"I almost feel as though I should be having some tea or sweets ready for us to share, although I imagine it'd be weird for a guest to be doing the preparations," Makoto lightly joked - technically, this place was as much their home as it was Toki's, given that they were teammates. But the fox couldn't help some light jesting, humor visible in their warm smile.

Ah - Makoto never did introduce Kuro to Toki, did they? Sometimes, the fox admittedly could forget that such a natural presence that had become a norm to them wasn't as much of a norm to those around them. "Ah - no, Kuro's always been here, though it's a bit of a shy shadow. You could say that it's my familiar, in fact." They'd explain - adding with a smile "That Kuro spoke to you means it's warming up to you, though - and who couldn't warm up to a sweet darling like yourself?" A warm and friendly tease, paired with an equally warm smile.

Briefly, the shadow shifted, as though it were 'gazing' at Toki now - Kuro liked him. He was quiet. He was gentle. He was kind. It was hard to remain nervous and timid around such a welcoming presence.

But as far as what Makoto wanted to talk about, the fox would let out a gentle half-hum half-sigh, taking a few moments to figure out how to word what was troubling them. Toki's friendly and welcoming demeanor helped to put the fox at ease, although pondering over the issue nonetheless wasn't pleasant. "Where to start, humhm... I suppose..."

"... As of recent, I've ended up finding my Armor Ultimate form. I imagine that you know how most digimon gain these armor forms by finding a Digimental that matches them, typically - although mine formed under... Different circumstances." They'd explain, idly toying with sparks of purple flame at the tips of their claws, and watching the tiny lights flicker and dance according to their direction. "I had been wandering up in the northern parts of the Southern Tropics - Cipher Jungle. And I found what I believe to have been... Something that a past life of mine had left behind - a fragment of their data, that they had preserved all of these years."

"The digimon who had been watching over it - a priestess of a long-dead cult - was waiting for a compatible digimon to take up the memories and imprints contained within to revive their cult. I ended up being that digimon - and when I had taken in the data, it..." Briefly, Makoto paused. What they were about to put out was something that would likely seem a little strange - anything could happen in the Digital World, but few digimon ever remembered their pasts as past incarnations of the Demon Lords. "... The data turned out to be a fragment left behind by a past incarnation of Lilithmon - the Lilithmon - that I must've been in a past life."

Makoto frowned, sighing once more, but continued. "The armor form that I've developed as a result of all of this - Astamon - is a strong one, for certain; it's the strongest form I have at this moment, in fact. But whenever I take on that form, I also end up taking on and being burdened with impulses and thoughts that aren't my own - that belong to the past Lilithmon. And that's not me."

"I may have hedonistic and indulgent tendencies - I am wholly willing to admit to such - but... I don't like toying with the hearts of others, I don't like seducing others to trick them, I don't like inflicting cruelties upon and devouring the cores of those who slight me without a second thought. But when I'm in that form, those things just... Come so naturally." Makoto admitted, dismissing the purple flames and averting their eyes briefly. "The things that Lilithmon has done are things I could've very well done if I was never raised with a kind heart in mind. And they're things I could very well do, if I let myself lose control while I'm in my Astamon form."

"And the idea of losing control, the idea of the consequences that might occur with such - it all disturbs me." The Renamon-X sighed, tails drooping. "I'm not Lilithmon - I never will be like Lilithmon, I don't want to be like Lilithmon. But Astamon is very much closer to that than I would like. And it's not like I can avoid using it forever - it's the strongest form I have right now if danger comes knocking, and though I'm loathe to admit it, the abilities of seduction and manipulation that the form offers do have their utilities in avoiding direct fights. Sooner or later, there'll come times where I'm going to have to become Astamon, and end up burdened with the impulses and memories that it comes with while I do so."

Their gaze would drift towards Toki now, and Makoto paused for a second - visibly figuring out their words once more. "... As a Spirit User... You more or less share your body with those spirits to take on your different forms, correct?" They questioned, before further asking "Do your spirits ever... Exert any form of influence on you, in the same way that Astamon does for me? How do you manage keeping your own thoughts and impulses at the forefront, as opposed to the ones brought on by your spirits?"

Granted, Makoto didn't expect Toki to have any spirits that are on the same level of maliciousness as a demon lord's fragmented data, but... Perhaps he could have some wisdom and advice to offer, in all of this?

The explanation of what spirits were was a fascinating one - Makoto was pretty sure that they never did ask anyone how the spirits themselves worked. That they were parts of a whole made sense to the Renamon-X, however - Makoto quietly nodding along as Toki explained his relationship with his spirit. That the spirit was capable of taking the reins was a little concerning -- and yet, it also did well to protect Toki from the stress of combat, from the sounds of things. Something that - as Makoto found out over time - that humans were a bit more susceptible to, compared to digimon.

Even as Toki lamented over wanting more advice to suggest though, Makoto smiled gently. "It's quite alright, darling. Even just being able to talk these things out with you is a comfort." They'd reassure him, adding "And even all of that aside, it's quite fascinating to hear about what being a Spirit User is like for you." You learned something new every day, as some humans liked to say; even Kuro appeared to be engrossed in listening to Toki's explanations.

But nonetheless, the main subject here was the issue of Makoto's unease over their new form. Being called wise drew a somewhat sheepish yet quite appreciative chuckle out of Makoto, their tails briefly swishing. Given human beliefs about foxes and kitsune, they supposed that it was part of the package for them to be wise, hmm? But nonetheless, Toki was such a sweet young man - and his encouragement would be met with gentle nods. "I suppose that a lot of this will have to be me getting used to the quirks that come with Astamon." The fox sighed initially, scratching their cheek.

However, they'd soon chuckle, adding. "At least I have the support of a good team to help give me peace of mind, though. And if I did start slipping, I think that Kuro would start giving me one heck of an earful - or perhaps more accurately, a mindful." It might be a shy soul around others, and it might otherwise be more on the quiet side, but Makoto trusted in Kuro to give them a good talking-to if they ever did go astray.

Which, with Toki's mention of being glad that they trusted him, Makoto chuckled again, taking on an affectionate tone. "You're such a sweet darling - I appreciate your support greatly, Toki dear." They'd speak, adding "And don't be afraid to come to me, if anything bothers you at all; we're all in this together in this big wild world, after all."

Makoto nodded at Toki's reassurances - although the fox couldn't help but make a concerned expression at the young man's admittance over being 'broken apart', both literally and not. "Oh dear," They'd hum in response, cupping their cheek with one hand, and musing out loud "That doesn't sound like a particularly healthy experience, if you ask me." with a faint chuckle of their own; though their concern for Toki was nonetheless apparent as they added "Being literally broken apart doesn't exactly sound like something that a human could come out of still standing - though then again, you being a Spirit User likely helped in that regard."

But then, Toki would grow emotional - and upon seeing the tears in the other's eyes, Makoto's expression softened. "Oh, darling..." They spoke, almost motherlike, as they took a step closer, and offered a hug. "You're a precious, lovely, dear - and not just to me. I'm sure you have plenty of people who adore you for the good that you are in not only the world as a whole, but in our personal worlds. And I am sure that plenty of those people would be more than happy to return the favor, if you ever need it."

Hug or no hug, Aylin soon came along next - Makoto's ears perking and swiveling in the rabbit's direction, as she spoke up and stepped out to the courtyard. It seemed that she and Toki both had their own experiences with things exerting influence over them - and that while Toki's spirits were benevolent and simply looking out for the human's mental health, what had taken over Aylin was something far more malicious.

But nonetheless, she had her own wisdom and advice to share, and Makoto returned Aylin's warm smile with one of their own. "Thank you, Aylin dear. You're quite the lovely darling, yourself - and I appreciate your perspective and wisdom greatly." They'd respond, kneeling down to give the Lunamon a gentle pat on the shoulder, as Toki pet her head. She and Toki both would do well in carrying on her father's legacy, in their opinion.

Hearing about Malik though, would prompt a brief and musing hum from the fox. "I've yet to run into Malik on my wanderings - although it's probably to be expected, I imagine the dear has been keeping to himself for the most part, and staying under the radar." Makoto pondered, continuing "Not that I blame him. He likely has a lot on his mind..."

"I'd almost suggest that we, perhaps, invite him here so that he has a quiet and safe place to sort his thoughts out." Glancing down to Aylin though, Makoto added to the Lunamon "If you're alright with that, at least, Aylin darling."

Aylin seemed to be warming up to Malik a little bit, but they still wanted to make sure that she was comfortable with the notion before they made any actual big plans for such.

Makoto nodded in deep understanding as Toki spoke of his doubts and worries - hugging him closely, their fur soft and warm to the touch, their tails idly curling around his waist as if to better embrace him. "I think he'd be plenty proud of you, too, darling." They spoke softly; a hand gently stroking the back of Toki's shoulders. "You've been able to gather us here under a noble common cause, with the intent to carry on what he taught you - and on top of such, you're such a kind and soft soul, even despite the hardships you've been through. That kindness, that reliability, that dedication... I think that it all reflects a strength of sorts within you, that is very admirable."

"But don't be afraid to ask, if you ever need help from us, okay? Even if it's something small." Makoto added, smiling wryly and knowingly - the kindest people are oftentimes the ones that have the hardest time seeking help - continuing "We have your back, just as you have ours."

Toki's and Aylin's mentions of Malik though, would prompt some curiosity from Makoto. "Oh? I'd have expected Malik to prefer staying out of trouble - though it's good to hear he's attempting to reach out and help others - those tensions between our worlds are such a messy business..." They mused with a gentle sigh. Really, they wished that humans and digimon would be able to live together as one in either world - but given the tensions from groups such as DATS, or the digimon of ElDoradimon, things weren't quite as simple as that (though they nonetheless held hope that things would settle down amicably.)

And the mention of KIZNA, too, brought a smile to the Renamon-X's face. "Ah - I've always heard good things about KIZNA; I even know a sweet young cub who's a part of it, hopefully he's been able to give Malik a warm welcome." Or the other way around, perhaps - who knew who joined first, after all? "I'm glad to hear that he's been able to find a group to settle down in, though - being on one's lonesome is always, well, lonely."

Digimon and humans alike were typically social species, after all - even if one sometimes liked peace and quiet and space to oneself, they needed some form of socialization or company every once in awhile; which was why Makoto was always thankful for having Kuro at their side. "If I run into Malik though, I'll be sure to let him know that he's welcome here - the more the merrier, after all!" They chuckled. "Perhaps I could even figure out what sort of things Malik likes to eat, humhumhmmm~"

Makoto smiled gently - a hint of humor crossing their features at Toki musing over his potential influence over Malik. "If anyone would be a good role model, it'd certainly be you, at the very least." They chuckled, before continuing "It'd likely be good to help make sure Malik darling has some good habits in moderation, though; it'd be a shame for him to burn himself out from too much work." Burnout from stress was the worst, in Makoto's opinion - especially if it's over something you otherwise love doing, or over helping others.

But nonetheless, they'd nod in agreement over the mention of KIZNA - it sounded as though the environment there was close knit and friendly, certainly a good environment for the dear... Though, it also made them ponder, tapping their chin idly as they mused out loud "Perhaps - at some point - we could see about reaching out to other teams in the Digital World, and get to know them a little more?" Smiling gently, they'd add "Can never have enough friends or allies on your side, after all."

Having connections and friends in high and low places alike was valuable, in the fox's opinion - even if they figured that Toki probably wasn't exactly one for sticking his nose in more underground matters, which Makoto wouldn't fault the dear for. It tended to be a garurumon-eat-garurumon world, and the only reason that the Renamon-X would even consider it an option was that they had to rely upon it to get by when they had run away from home as a child - so they had a bit of an idea on how to navigate it.

But, the notion of making a nice dinner for Malik would certainly have Makoto giggling jovially, and Kuro could tell that they were perhaps in their own little world now. "Wonder what sorts of foods he likes - I'm gonna have to make sure the pantry is nice and stocked, so that we can make dinner together as a group, like when Shade and I first came here, hmhmhmm~" They'd begin musing to themself. They knew that they were running a little low on noodles, and could probably do with a new bottle of lemon juice, and...

Kuro couldn't help a gentle - yet fond - sigh as Makoto began pulling out a little notebook to put together a shopping list; a hue of amusement conveyed to the fox, who would respond with an amusement of their own. Toki and Aylin, it was clear to the little shadow they were good for Makoto. Though they had been stressed before, over Astamon, and just the world at large -- here they were now, worries forgotten, amidst something that they were passionate about.

Quietly, wordlessly, Kuro would mentally nudge at Toki with a warm and friendly thankfulness - too shy to provide much in the way of words, but hoping the intent in the nudge would nonetheless be enough for what it wanted to convey.

As Makoto jotted away at the shopping list though, the fox would smile over to Toki and Aylin. "By the by - we've been so caught up talking about my own concerns, and Malik, and whatnot... Has anything interesting happened, for either of you darlings, as of late? Perhaps even heard about anything interesting going in at large?" Since they were all hanging out in this nice weather together, may as well partake in some friendly gossip and small talk! And who knows? Maybe if there was something going on out in the world, they could get in on a bit of adventure, too!

Makoto smiled gently and sympathetically to Toki. "Indeed; we can be our own worst enemies sometimes, in that regard. But, at the very least, I'm sure that him knowing that you have his back will be of comfort to him." They responded, humming softly. Homeostasis knows that they'd been there, before, in the past - wrapped up in thoughts of inadequacy and loneliness.

They were thankful that - even if they were alone for the most part, for a good portion of their formative years - that they had Kuro by their side, as a gentle voice of reason.

"Exactly! Bonds like that are quite important, if you ask me, dear." Makoto chuckled with a clap of their claws, at the mention of bringing people together. "And even if our team is still quite young, you have plenty of recognition, in all the good you've done. I'm sure that anyone who recognizes you for who you are would know that our team, by extension, is ready to do as much good as we can as well." Blossom Isles and Whitewater did indeed sound like good places to start, though - and Whitewater was quite populous, with plenty of gossiping to go around.

Even if they didn't find any teams initially, it was likely that curious teams that overheard talk about them would be happy to bring visitors here to talk things out.

"Some fish sounds good, perhaps we could even look into doing some sushi?" They mused out loud, idly tapping the pen they were using against their chin, before adding some typical sushi ingredients - nori, roe, and the like - to the list. Maybe Omen and Mae would like some sushi, too..?

Noticing Toki's gaze on their notebook though, Makoto couldn't help but chuckle back - smiling over to the human. "Anything else you think I should add, darling?" They'd question, tilting the notebook in his direction so that he could see and look over the shopping list.

Makoto smiled down to Aylin as she offered looking for some recipes, too - to which the fox chuckled. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, dear; share any recipes you find with me, and I'll see about getting the ingredients together." They'd respond, adding "Nothing like some good sweets to put a smile on someone's face."

Toki and Aylin would both soon speak of their idleness and aimlessness though, to which Makoto smiled in sympathy. "A general feeling of 'well, what now?', I imagine?" They'd ask Toki in regards to him having gathered his spirits already. "Homeostasis knows I've been there, in regards to not knowing where to start; it's partially why I was such a late starter, in the adventuring business!"

They'd chuckle with that - tails briefly swishing - before they'd begin to hum in thought, pondering potential solutions. "As far as friends go, you could always see about interacting with people on Tamernet some - or even try looking for younger digimon on their first adventures, or people who're still new to the Digital World at large, to give a helping hand to in acclimating to things." They'd suggest - continuing "You can also try traveling with any of the friends you already have, and see who you might meet - or even others in the team, if anyone's willing. Or you could even try looking for places you've never visited before - pick one at random, and head that direction."

"Otherwise, it could also be worth keeping an eye on mission boards to see if anyone needs a helping hand. Even if it's more of the same protecting others, it would still be a good opportunity to get outside and go someplace else for a bit, as well as an opportunity to meet other fellow missiongoers."