90CX - Power and Pride
Sept 29, 2021 17:16:09 GMT
Post by Honoka Nijimura on Sept 29, 2021 17:16:09 GMT
MPC: 90CX
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Honoka had a lot on her mind lately. Between acquiring her Beast Spirits and subsequently going on a rampage, that was thankfully able to be contained in no small part thanks to an Xros General and his many partners, Honoka had been having difficulty maintaining even the more basic tasks. School was a nightmare. Any time she would try to focus on her studies something raging inside her would well up, and if she didn't put the whole of her attention on containing it, she was sure that she'd just start screaming. It was like a migraine that you know was coming, but hadn't quite gotten there yet.
Honoka had never meditated before until recently. But of course, be it because she wasn't used to doing it, or it straight-up didn't work, it didn't help. As for her work at the family shop and gymnastics? She just had to lie and tell everyone that she was under the weather.
Honoka had met quite a few different people in both the human world and the Digital World, and several of them, like Honoka, were spirit users as well, though they had far more experience than the young woman. She had considered reaching out to them, to ask if there was anything she could do to help alleviate her problems. But... once again the girl's pride got in her way. If she couldn't deal with this problem on her own, then what was the point? She had to be strong enough to control it on her own. Honoka was the one who had asked for this. This was her power, her problems. She couldn't burden someone else with something like this.
Well... that might not be the whole truth. Another reason she didn't contact one was because she was scared. Scared that there might not be a solution for her problem. That she had just bitten off more than she could chew, and that she had to deal with the consequences of her actions. And if she found that out, then Honoka didn't know what she would do. Control and restraint was everything to Honoka. Don't get too excited, because it's improper. Don't get too sad, because wallowing in pity isn't productive. Don't get too angry, because it clouds your judgment. And if recent events were to show, Honoka was having enough trouble with that part as it is.
But Honoka couldn't just pretend to be sick forever. She needed a place where she could have time to think. And when it came to time, there wasn't a place better than the Digital World. It might have been a little dangerous, but the area around Rosewood was relatively peaceful. She would rather avoid the city, however. Too much activity and noise was a distraction. And she could feel the presences within her mind boiling up whenever she was distracted. Honoka had enough on her mind.
Grasping her D-Tector, she walked around the outskirts of the city, gradually gaining more distance and heading further into the Timberlands. Her hand was shaking just holding it. She hadn't tried to transform ever since that day. She had become Lillymon, flew into a rage for whatever reason, and when she came to she had acquired three new spirits that she couldn't fully control. Lili, Lulu, and Lala were trouble enough. Each had their own strong will that they liked to exert over Honoka from time to time. And to be honest, Honoka sympathized with the three fairies. They had lost their bodies a long time ago and were now essentially prisoners inside Honoka's mind. If letting them have just a bit of control made them happy for a bit, then that was fine.
But the Beast Spirits she had aquired, Sunflowmon, Silphymon, and MarinAngemon, were another matter entirely. They didn't seem to possess the same individuality that her Human Spirits had. They were something far more primal. If the fairies were the lingering will of their departed selves, then these beasts were the raw, primal emotions of those forgotten. And that was what troubled Honoka. She had come to an understanding with the previous three, but how could she do so with creatures that she couldn't even communicate with?
Her hands were shaking and she felt chills down her spine. Her D-Tector was already bulky, but today it felt a lot heavier than usual. Well, so long as she could avoid a pointless fight, then-
The ground beneath her suddenly collapsed under her as she landed into a pitfall of sorts. "Yea! We got 'er! Told ya she'd fall fer it!" An excited voice cried out. Honoka looked up to see a few figures standing above her at the top of the hole. A green, bulbous weed-looking thing, Zassoumon. A lavender-furred mix between rabbit and dog, Gazimon. What looked to be a comically-poisonous mushroom, Mushmon. And a violet-furred beast with yellow lightning-patterns on him, Elecmon.
"She ain't got a Digimon, either!" The Elecmon pointed out, exuberant.
"Look at that Digivice, dummy!" Zassoumon pointed to the D-Tector in her hands. "That there's one of them that lets the humans transform into a Digimon spirit!"
"Well ain't that just dis-spectin' the dead?" the Mushmon cried out in outrage. "Damned humans! Just let our sleepin' Dogmon lie, dammit!"
Honoka's back ached a bit, but it wasn't that big of a fall. In fact, the fact that she was caught by surprise helped her landing a bit. She was pretty limber when she hit the ground. She stood up and glared at the four Digimon. "What do you want with me?"
"You're gon' be handin' over all yer bits and supplies!" Zassoumon stated. "And we'll be takin' that purty lil' Digivice ya got there, too!"
A robbery. Of course she would get mugged while just taking a stroll. "I don't think that's gonna happen!" She held up her Digivice and gave the most intimidating glare she could. Considering her five feet in height and the fact she was maybe 95 pounds soaking wet, it probably wasn't all that impressive. Still... did she really have to Digivolve?
"I don't think yer gettin' the point here! Elecmon?"
"You got it, boss!" The Elecmon, true to his name, began to crackle with electricity as he fired off a bolt of lightning at Honoka's feet. She jerked away at the last second with a surprised yelp.
"That's just a warnin' shot, honey! We don't know what kinda Digimon yer gonna dress up as, but we got ya outnumbered! So how 'bout you just drop all yer stuff and let us be on our way?"
She was outnumbered, but if she had a mind to, she thought she could probably take them if she needed to. Even without resorting to using her new spirits. It was just three Rookies and while Zassoumon was a Champion Digimon, he didn't look too impressive. But if she fought too long, she might lose control. No... fighting wasn't an option! Instead, she should just use Kazemon's high speed flight to jet out, contact the Rosewood authorities, and let them take care of these woodside bandits.
But... couldn't just transforming trigger her spirits to go into a rage once again? She couldn't risk that! She looked around, desperate to find even a glimmer of hope. And she thought she saw one. It was gonna be rough, though.
She hugged the edge of the pitfall, closest to the Elecmon. At that angle, he couldn't fire off another bolt of electricity without moving. Her back to the wall, she leapt up and grabbed onto a tree root. She prayed desperately that it was strong enough to hold her weight, and much to her good fortune, it barely even budged. She lifted her body up so her back slid against the dirt walls as if doing a pull-up, and her arms were already complaining about the strain.
And if her arms didn't like that little bit, they were gonna hate the part that came next. Because while Honoka was a gymnast, and quite the talented one, at that, she was more suited to rhythmic gymnastics. Activities that required more grace and flexibility than actual feats of strength. She just hadn't built up the muscle to properly apply herself to artistic gymnastics.
So when Honoka lifted herself up, throwing her weight to do a backflip while still hanging off of the tree root, her voice let out a hoarse scream of pain and anguish as she forced herself out of the whole. The bottom of her feet collided with the Elecmon's face, knocking him flat as she came to a crouching position at the edge of the pitfall. There were still Zassoumon, Mushmon, and Gazimon to deal with, and while they were initially stunned, it wouldn't be long until they moved in. Which meant Honoka had to act fast.
She couldn't go the same direction she was going in. It was possible that they had created more pitfalls and if she fell again, judging by the way her arms were feeling, she didn't think she could put on a repeat performance. Which meant she had to go back the same way, back to Rosewood. And there were three Digimon standing in her way. Zassoumon was on her right. Mushmon on her left, and Gazimon on the other side of the hole. Of the three, only Gazimon looked like it might be fast. No matter which side Honoka ran to, it would catch up to her. So it was a choice between the Rookie Mushmon and the Champion Zassoumon. Well... that wasn't really a choice at all!
Honoka ran around the left side of the hole, straight towards Mushmon. She had hoped that she would have a little more time, but the mushroom Digimon recovered from her stunned stupor, raised his hands, and let out a stream of golden pollen towards her. Some poisonous gas, probably. Honoka held her breath, closed her eyes, covered her nose and her mouth, then charged blindly ahead through the toxic spores. It felt like the spores were clinging to her as she felt a warm, almost burning sensation over her arms, where her exposed skin was.
Once she felt the cool air of the woods again, she opened her eyes to see a lavender blur rush her. The Gazimon lashed out with a swiping claw attack towards her legs, likely to keep her from running. However, Honoka lifted the targeted leg up high did a, pirouette to dodge the swipe, then swung her raised leg down onto the smaller Digimon's head. He went down with a satisfying thud, but as he fell to the ground he lashed out with his other claw, managing to get a scratch in on her raised leg regardless. Still covering her face from the spores, Honoka let out a shrill whimper of pain as she tried to ignore the injury and continue running.
Honoka kept running, taking a quick glance behind her. The legless Zassoumon was hopping along towards her, with the short-legged Mushmon beside him, but it looked like Honoka was outpacing the both of them. Elecmon and Gazimon were shaking off their respective blows, and in a matter of moments they were going to be giving chase. And for as quick and agile as she was, Honoka didn't think she was going to be outrunning them anytime soon. But she had to try. If she couldn't use her spirits, it was all she could do. The only hope she had left.
But then she felt an itching sensation on her arms. She unconsciously rubbed them, only to feel something unusual. Mushrooms had grown from where the spores had touched her bare skin. She heard the chuckle of the Mushmon behind her, and with a snap of the fingers, the mushrooms began to glow a bright white, and then burst with a concussive blast.
One of the worst agony Honoka had ever felt ran up through her arms, into her spine, then all throughout her body as the force rattled her entire being. She fell over, suddenly feeling a something tear in her throat. She was in so much pain she didn't even recognize that she was screaming. Tears welled up in her eyes from the sheer agony of it all, and she barely even recognized the fact that the four Digimon chasing her had caught up to her.
Honoka had hoped to get past her attackers, then somehow survive the 20-minute run back to Rosewood. Hell, if she was running for her life, even with the cut on her leg, she could probably make it in 15.
But the girl had lasted all of ten seconds.
"Y'see here? If ya just did what we asked, ya wouldn't've had ta go through all this!" Zassoumon chided, then turned to his comrades. "Grab her Digivice, then search the rest of her." The three Rookie Digimon moved in, and even though Honoka couldn't even feel her arms, let alone move them, but she still kicked at her assailants, however futile it may have been. "Now there just ain't no learnin' from you, is there?" For each kick that Honoka threw out, the Zassoumon lashed out with a devestating strike from his vine, each blow feeling like a sledgehammer fell on top of her. Eventually, she lost the will to resist as she laid there motionless and in agony, sobbing from the pain and the sheer helplessness.
Honoka had tried. Tried so hard to do the right thing. To be a good person. To use this power of hers responsibly. She couldn't control her Spirit's powers, so she refused to use them. And this is how life rewarded her restraint. Maybe... she should have just let go. Let her Beast Spirits take control, let things take their course. But she tried to be better than that. Better than who she truly was. A stubborn, prideful child who happened to be lucky enough to get some kind of special power and let it all go to her head.
Even between all the detestable people that Honoka had encountered; the slavers, the cultists, these bandits currently robbing her... the person that Honoka detested the most was herself.
[End]
WC: 2375/2000
But hey, the story's not over yet! Much like the last depressing Honoka MPC (man... Honoka gets her ass kicked more often than not. She kind of sucks, doesn't she?) that I did, I gotta lead in to my next thread with her!
Honoka's robbers had secured her Digivice and were in the process of looting the rest of her barely-conscious body, but all of a sudden, a figure wrapped in blue flames shot out from seemingly out of nowhere. A fist erupted from the flame, driving it into the Zassoumon's face and sending the Champion-level flying back as he howled in pain. The flames died out and a humanoid figure glad in some blue, dragonic armor stood in between Honoka and the remaining Rookie Digimon. He spoke in an all-too familiar tone, though Honoka had never heard her brother so enraged before.
"If I were you, I would get the fuck out of here while you still can. Before I figure out how to do that move on purpose!" Blue flames erupted from the gauntlets he wore, the heat intense enough to drive the Rookie-Digimon back. And without his flunkies, the Zassoumon hopped away as well. The figure let out a sigh of relief as data form shimmered and vanished and standing in its place was Honoka's brother, Naoki. He held a blue D-Tector in his hand, giving a bewildered gaze before muttering, "What the hell was that all about...?" Then he turned his attention towards his sister.
"Honoka!" He crouched down beside her, looking her up and down. "Holy shit..." He said aloud. "Oh fuck, this is bad..." Very comforting. "I... I don't know what I'm supposed to do here, sis. I have no idea what the hell's going on, what the hell just happened to me, or what the hell all those weird... things were. Honoka! I need you to stay with me and tell me what's going on! Sis? Sis!"
Wow. Despite Honoka being the battered and bruised victim here, Naoki was still trying to make everything about himself.
"T-typical..." Honoka heard herself mutter before losing consciousness.
Reward: Posts
Honoka had a lot on her mind lately. Between acquiring her Beast Spirits and subsequently going on a rampage, that was thankfully able to be contained in no small part thanks to an Xros General and his many partners, Honoka had been having difficulty maintaining even the more basic tasks. School was a nightmare. Any time she would try to focus on her studies something raging inside her would well up, and if she didn't put the whole of her attention on containing it, she was sure that she'd just start screaming. It was like a migraine that you know was coming, but hadn't quite gotten there yet.
Honoka had never meditated before until recently. But of course, be it because she wasn't used to doing it, or it straight-up didn't work, it didn't help. As for her work at the family shop and gymnastics? She just had to lie and tell everyone that she was under the weather.
Honoka had met quite a few different people in both the human world and the Digital World, and several of them, like Honoka, were spirit users as well, though they had far more experience than the young woman. She had considered reaching out to them, to ask if there was anything she could do to help alleviate her problems. But... once again the girl's pride got in her way. If she couldn't deal with this problem on her own, then what was the point? She had to be strong enough to control it on her own. Honoka was the one who had asked for this. This was her power, her problems. She couldn't burden someone else with something like this.
Well... that might not be the whole truth. Another reason she didn't contact one was because she was scared. Scared that there might not be a solution for her problem. That she had just bitten off more than she could chew, and that she had to deal with the consequences of her actions. And if she found that out, then Honoka didn't know what she would do. Control and restraint was everything to Honoka. Don't get too excited, because it's improper. Don't get too sad, because wallowing in pity isn't productive. Don't get too angry, because it clouds your judgment. And if recent events were to show, Honoka was having enough trouble with that part as it is.
But Honoka couldn't just pretend to be sick forever. She needed a place where she could have time to think. And when it came to time, there wasn't a place better than the Digital World. It might have been a little dangerous, but the area around Rosewood was relatively peaceful. She would rather avoid the city, however. Too much activity and noise was a distraction. And she could feel the presences within her mind boiling up whenever she was distracted. Honoka had enough on her mind.
Grasping her D-Tector, she walked around the outskirts of the city, gradually gaining more distance and heading further into the Timberlands. Her hand was shaking just holding it. She hadn't tried to transform ever since that day. She had become Lillymon, flew into a rage for whatever reason, and when she came to she had acquired three new spirits that she couldn't fully control. Lili, Lulu, and Lala were trouble enough. Each had their own strong will that they liked to exert over Honoka from time to time. And to be honest, Honoka sympathized with the three fairies. They had lost their bodies a long time ago and were now essentially prisoners inside Honoka's mind. If letting them have just a bit of control made them happy for a bit, then that was fine.
But the Beast Spirits she had aquired, Sunflowmon, Silphymon, and MarinAngemon, were another matter entirely. They didn't seem to possess the same individuality that her Human Spirits had. They were something far more primal. If the fairies were the lingering will of their departed selves, then these beasts were the raw, primal emotions of those forgotten. And that was what troubled Honoka. She had come to an understanding with the previous three, but how could she do so with creatures that she couldn't even communicate with?
Her hands were shaking and she felt chills down her spine. Her D-Tector was already bulky, but today it felt a lot heavier than usual. Well, so long as she could avoid a pointless fight, then-
The ground beneath her suddenly collapsed under her as she landed into a pitfall of sorts. "Yea! We got 'er! Told ya she'd fall fer it!" An excited voice cried out. Honoka looked up to see a few figures standing above her at the top of the hole. A green, bulbous weed-looking thing, Zassoumon. A lavender-furred mix between rabbit and dog, Gazimon. What looked to be a comically-poisonous mushroom, Mushmon. And a violet-furred beast with yellow lightning-patterns on him, Elecmon.
"She ain't got a Digimon, either!" The Elecmon pointed out, exuberant.
"Look at that Digivice, dummy!" Zassoumon pointed to the D-Tector in her hands. "That there's one of them that lets the humans transform into a Digimon spirit!"
"Well ain't that just dis-spectin' the dead?" the Mushmon cried out in outrage. "Damned humans! Just let our sleepin' Dogmon lie, dammit!"
Honoka's back ached a bit, but it wasn't that big of a fall. In fact, the fact that she was caught by surprise helped her landing a bit. She was pretty limber when she hit the ground. She stood up and glared at the four Digimon. "What do you want with me?"
"You're gon' be handin' over all yer bits and supplies!" Zassoumon stated. "And we'll be takin' that purty lil' Digivice ya got there, too!"
A robbery. Of course she would get mugged while just taking a stroll. "I don't think that's gonna happen!" She held up her Digivice and gave the most intimidating glare she could. Considering her five feet in height and the fact she was maybe 95 pounds soaking wet, it probably wasn't all that impressive. Still... did she really have to Digivolve?
"I don't think yer gettin' the point here! Elecmon?"
"You got it, boss!" The Elecmon, true to his name, began to crackle with electricity as he fired off a bolt of lightning at Honoka's feet. She jerked away at the last second with a surprised yelp.
"That's just a warnin' shot, honey! We don't know what kinda Digimon yer gonna dress up as, but we got ya outnumbered! So how 'bout you just drop all yer stuff and let us be on our way?"
She was outnumbered, but if she had a mind to, she thought she could probably take them if she needed to. Even without resorting to using her new spirits. It was just three Rookies and while Zassoumon was a Champion Digimon, he didn't look too impressive. But if she fought too long, she might lose control. No... fighting wasn't an option! Instead, she should just use Kazemon's high speed flight to jet out, contact the Rosewood authorities, and let them take care of these woodside bandits.
But... couldn't just transforming trigger her spirits to go into a rage once again? She couldn't risk that! She looked around, desperate to find even a glimmer of hope. And she thought she saw one. It was gonna be rough, though.
She hugged the edge of the pitfall, closest to the Elecmon. At that angle, he couldn't fire off another bolt of electricity without moving. Her back to the wall, she leapt up and grabbed onto a tree root. She prayed desperately that it was strong enough to hold her weight, and much to her good fortune, it barely even budged. She lifted her body up so her back slid against the dirt walls as if doing a pull-up, and her arms were already complaining about the strain.
And if her arms didn't like that little bit, they were gonna hate the part that came next. Because while Honoka was a gymnast, and quite the talented one, at that, she was more suited to rhythmic gymnastics. Activities that required more grace and flexibility than actual feats of strength. She just hadn't built up the muscle to properly apply herself to artistic gymnastics.
So when Honoka lifted herself up, throwing her weight to do a backflip while still hanging off of the tree root, her voice let out a hoarse scream of pain and anguish as she forced herself out of the whole. The bottom of her feet collided with the Elecmon's face, knocking him flat as she came to a crouching position at the edge of the pitfall. There were still Zassoumon, Mushmon, and Gazimon to deal with, and while they were initially stunned, it wouldn't be long until they moved in. Which meant Honoka had to act fast.
She couldn't go the same direction she was going in. It was possible that they had created more pitfalls and if she fell again, judging by the way her arms were feeling, she didn't think she could put on a repeat performance. Which meant she had to go back the same way, back to Rosewood. And there were three Digimon standing in her way. Zassoumon was on her right. Mushmon on her left, and Gazimon on the other side of the hole. Of the three, only Gazimon looked like it might be fast. No matter which side Honoka ran to, it would catch up to her. So it was a choice between the Rookie Mushmon and the Champion Zassoumon. Well... that wasn't really a choice at all!
Honoka ran around the left side of the hole, straight towards Mushmon. She had hoped that she would have a little more time, but the mushroom Digimon recovered from her stunned stupor, raised his hands, and let out a stream of golden pollen towards her. Some poisonous gas, probably. Honoka held her breath, closed her eyes, covered her nose and her mouth, then charged blindly ahead through the toxic spores. It felt like the spores were clinging to her as she felt a warm, almost burning sensation over her arms, where her exposed skin was.
Once she felt the cool air of the woods again, she opened her eyes to see a lavender blur rush her. The Gazimon lashed out with a swiping claw attack towards her legs, likely to keep her from running. However, Honoka lifted the targeted leg up high did a, pirouette to dodge the swipe, then swung her raised leg down onto the smaller Digimon's head. He went down with a satisfying thud, but as he fell to the ground he lashed out with his other claw, managing to get a scratch in on her raised leg regardless. Still covering her face from the spores, Honoka let out a shrill whimper of pain as she tried to ignore the injury and continue running.
Honoka kept running, taking a quick glance behind her. The legless Zassoumon was hopping along towards her, with the short-legged Mushmon beside him, but it looked like Honoka was outpacing the both of them. Elecmon and Gazimon were shaking off their respective blows, and in a matter of moments they were going to be giving chase. And for as quick and agile as she was, Honoka didn't think she was going to be outrunning them anytime soon. But she had to try. If she couldn't use her spirits, it was all she could do. The only hope she had left.
But then she felt an itching sensation on her arms. She unconsciously rubbed them, only to feel something unusual. Mushrooms had grown from where the spores had touched her bare skin. She heard the chuckle of the Mushmon behind her, and with a snap of the fingers, the mushrooms began to glow a bright white, and then burst with a concussive blast.
One of the worst agony Honoka had ever felt ran up through her arms, into her spine, then all throughout her body as the force rattled her entire being. She fell over, suddenly feeling a something tear in her throat. She was in so much pain she didn't even recognize that she was screaming. Tears welled up in her eyes from the sheer agony of it all, and she barely even recognized the fact that the four Digimon chasing her had caught up to her.
Honoka had hoped to get past her attackers, then somehow survive the 20-minute run back to Rosewood. Hell, if she was running for her life, even with the cut on her leg, she could probably make it in 15.
But the girl had lasted all of ten seconds.
"Y'see here? If ya just did what we asked, ya wouldn't've had ta go through all this!" Zassoumon chided, then turned to his comrades. "Grab her Digivice, then search the rest of her." The three Rookie Digimon moved in, and even though Honoka couldn't even feel her arms, let alone move them, but she still kicked at her assailants, however futile it may have been. "Now there just ain't no learnin' from you, is there?" For each kick that Honoka threw out, the Zassoumon lashed out with a devestating strike from his vine, each blow feeling like a sledgehammer fell on top of her. Eventually, she lost the will to resist as she laid there motionless and in agony, sobbing from the pain and the sheer helplessness.
Honoka had tried. Tried so hard to do the right thing. To be a good person. To use this power of hers responsibly. She couldn't control her Spirit's powers, so she refused to use them. And this is how life rewarded her restraint. Maybe... she should have just let go. Let her Beast Spirits take control, let things take their course. But she tried to be better than that. Better than who she truly was. A stubborn, prideful child who happened to be lucky enough to get some kind of special power and let it all go to her head.
Even between all the detestable people that Honoka had encountered; the slavers, the cultists, these bandits currently robbing her... the person that Honoka detested the most was herself.
[End]
WC: 2375/2000
But hey, the story's not over yet! Much like the last depressing Honoka MPC (man... Honoka gets her ass kicked more often than not. She kind of sucks, doesn't she?) that I did, I gotta lead in to my next thread with her!
Honoka's robbers had secured her Digivice and were in the process of looting the rest of her barely-conscious body, but all of a sudden, a figure wrapped in blue flames shot out from seemingly out of nowhere. A fist erupted from the flame, driving it into the Zassoumon's face and sending the Champion-level flying back as he howled in pain. The flames died out and a humanoid figure glad in some blue, dragonic armor stood in between Honoka and the remaining Rookie Digimon. He spoke in an all-too familiar tone, though Honoka had never heard her brother so enraged before.
"If I were you, I would get the fuck out of here while you still can. Before I figure out how to do that move on purpose!" Blue flames erupted from the gauntlets he wore, the heat intense enough to drive the Rookie-Digimon back. And without his flunkies, the Zassoumon hopped away as well. The figure let out a sigh of relief as data form shimmered and vanished and standing in its place was Honoka's brother, Naoki. He held a blue D-Tector in his hand, giving a bewildered gaze before muttering, "What the hell was that all about...?" Then he turned his attention towards his sister.
"Honoka!" He crouched down beside her, looking her up and down. "Holy shit..." He said aloud. "Oh fuck, this is bad..." Very comforting. "I... I don't know what I'm supposed to do here, sis. I have no idea what the hell's going on, what the hell just happened to me, or what the hell all those weird... things were. Honoka! I need you to stay with me and tell me what's going on! Sis? Sis!"
Wow. Despite Honoka being the battered and bruised victim here, Naoki was still trying to make everything about himself.
"T-typical..." Honoka heard herself mutter before losing consciousness.
