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MPC 115C: Why Not to Give Wormmon Crayons (Finished)
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Post by Dante on Mar 11, 2024 6:00:53 GMT
MPC: 115C Once Upon a TimeReward: Bits please Status: Finished Total Words: 1684 (385, 605, 694) ______________ Once upon a time, there was a magical place in the world. It was kind of like England, but it had fairies, and guys in amor and stuff. This was like, really long ago. Back before people had apps that order pizza. There was a magical kingdom full of wacky people, living their dirty peasant lives. A French girl wearing blue wonders down the street reading a book. Traders selling discount rodent meat. All the wonders of the dark ages. In the town of Wigglebelly, there lives a man by the name of Dante. He is a real simple man. He's standing around, scratching himself, covered in dirty rags. Not a lot going on upstairs. Dante was sad because he wasn't cool like Cassius, a guy thief who had his own jacket made from cow hide. All the ladies liked his jacket, and were always hanging around him. One day, when Dante was out romping with his moron sister, the stinky, buck toothed, floozie Judith, he came upon a shiny stone. It is green in the shape of a W. Later, he tried bartering the stone for smokes. Eventually, a super cool hobgoblin with a fur robe and pimp hat named Wormmon approached peasant Dante. "Have my stone, you do. Give to me you will, and cool I make you."Dante gives the totally buff Wormmon the stone, and Wormmon takes him for a ride in his Cadillac car. They had those back then, right? I mean, they are really old. The brave, beautiful, and humble Wormmon trains Dante to both be super strong by doing lots of push ups, and teaches him funky wizard spells. Soon, the ladies start to notice Dante, but it was mostly because he was standing next to Wormmon. While everyone enjoyed their dirty peasant lives in the town of Wigglebelly, there was evil brewing from within the kingdom. The evil Lord Terriermon was a tyrant, and a jerk, and he never used his turn signals. He made all his servants listen to him sing and play the keyboard. Terriermon was jealous because Wormmon had mad skills, and beat him at Monopoly, so he paid Cassius to steal Wormmon's awesome pimp hat. Oh, and Cassius is a thief. I probably should have mentioned that earlier. Where is my red crayon?
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Post by Dante on Mar 26, 2024 7:03:09 GMT
So Dante set out on an epic quest to retrieve the beautiful and humble Wormmon's pimp hat. The peasant thought to himself, how do you catch a thief? He went to the local saloon called the Rebel Rose to search for information. There were all sorts of hoodlums and rapscallions that dwell within, never up to any good.
Leaning against the wall in heavy plate armor is a woman named Blisha. She's kind of cool because she is so strong, but she's also a huge pain to be around and doesn't really like anybody. Then there was Cambria, a blonde woman in armor that strategically covered little more than the bikini zone, which increased both mobility and the chance of being stabbed in the gut. She gets into a brawl with some knuckleheads and throws one over the counter. Several patrons cheer for the total mayhem.
Dante approaches the bar and talks to Shirou the bartender. Shirou is cleaning glasses and chuckling at Cambria throwing the grunts around. Dante asks the bartender if he's heard anything about Cassius. The bartender denies such knowledge, but recommends someone who might. He suggests Dante stay for the show. Frustrated, Dante orders a drink. He steps out of the way as Cambria throws another patron in his general direction.
Dante gets his drink and takes a seat near the stage. He takes a drink and lights up a smoke. A woman with brunette hair and glasses wearing a barmaid's dress with fishnets walks out on stage.
"Ladies and betas, and whores, our feature presentation is about to begin. More dangerous to men than a gaming addiction, she leaves a trail of broken hearts and feathers in her wake. Will you be her next victim? Introducing, Ravenna, the maneater!"
The sound of a gong being rung fills the room as medieval bardcore music plays. A crow can be heard cawing. Smoke fills the stage. From the smoke emerges Ravenna. She has long black and violet hair, and is wearing a black leather outfit with lots of black feathers. The patrons cheer intensely and catcall the crow girl. She starts to sing and dance in a flamboyant manner.
"Why is it men are weak? Tell me why so many are meek. Always asking for just a peak. Another kiss on the cheek. If you can handle my drama, I'll gladly be your goth waifu mama. It's so easy, don't you see? To make a man fall for me. Got him wrapped around my finger like a ring. They don't even care if I can't really sing. I just shake, and smile, and laugh and jiggle. Men falling into my web makes me giggle.
First, I'll rip your heart out and throw it on the ground. I'll stomp on it and smash it all around. It's just a game to me, I've got diabolical plans. I'm raking in millions on my Only Fans. Guys throw themselves at me, always bend to my will. First I act all sweet, then go for the kill. I can toss a man's heart out like it's just trash. I'm in and out faster than Dine-N-Dash. What's a sad, pathetic man to do? Just pray the next one is not you."
Ravenna walks up to Dante and smiles. Then she takes the cigarette out of his hand and puts it in his drink. The drunk patrons applaud and spill drinks all over themselves rushing up to the stage. Ravenna just smiles and shakes her hips. Dante has to figure out a way to talk to this floozie crowded by simps to get information on Wormmon's pimp hat.
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(Word Count: 605)
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Post by Dante on Mar 31, 2024 13:25:56 GMT
Dante waits for a while as Ravenna poses. She takes a bow and walks off the stage to talk to some friends. After a while, Dante walks up to the scantily clad woman. Dante explains how he was told she might have information about the hat thief. Ravenna confesses she may know, then giggles and runs her hand down Dante's chest. It was really obvious flirting. She invites Dante to the back.
The peasant Dante follows Ravenna to her dressing room behind the stage. There is a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket on the coffee table. Ravenna turns on some soft music and pushes Dante onto the couch. Ravenna smiles and leans over Dante.
"I was informed of your noble quest to recover the hat. Lord Terriermon asked me to stop you."
"How do you plan on doing that? You may be a former college athlete, but don't underestimate my squirrel tactics."
"You know that you cannot resist attention from a beautiful woman. You can be my new boy toy."
Dante feels the pressure of his male primate brain influencing him to give in to temptation. A lesser man would no doubt cave. However, Wormmon gave him super awesome training in how to deal with succubuses. I mean, succubi. Is it succubae? Whatever.
"You cannot tempt me, vile temper lady."
"Do you mean temptress?"
"Yes. You are just a floozie who uses your body to manipulate men. I have the willpower to resist. However, you cannot resist my sick dance moves."
Dante gets up and starts dancing. He breaks out into his own dance number with lots of flashy moves and spins. Ravenna is impressed with the rad dance moves Wormmon taught him, and the temptress caves.
"I cannot resist your dance moves. I will give you the location."
So Dante leaves and heads to Lord Terriermon's castle. I mean, it was kind of obvious that the hat would be there. Dante could have just gone there from the start, but then we wouldn't have that bird girl singing, so sometimes characters do stupid things to progress the story. Anyways, the castle break in.
Dante uses a grappling hook and scales the wall like some kind of lanky ninja. He crawls in through a window and sneaks around. Obviously, he has to knock out a guard and steal their uniform. That's in like every story ever. I mean, it's a 100 percent original idea. Bask in my great storytelling. He sneaks past the alarms and grabs the hat off a pedestal. The alarms start going off and Dante dashes out of the room.
Cue the rad parkour music video of Dante running around the castle as the guards chase him. He does some cool jumps and some wall runs. Finally, he runs into a corner and is surrounded. Lord Terriermon comes out and mocks the peasant. Just when all hope is lost, Wormmon flies in being carried by a dozen eagles with gold ropes in their mouths. Lord Terriermon gazes on in fear at the glory of the mighty pimp hobgoblin.
"Save the day now, I will. Your ass I kick now. Mmmmm!"
Wormmon busts out a 360 no scope kick to King Terriermon's royal jewels. Dante and Wormmon fly away with the pimp hat. They celebrate with a hot tub party and a laser tag battle. And that's how Dante became the hero of Wigglebelly!
*Cut to Wormmon showing his story to Dante and Ravenna.*
"So, what do you think of my story?"
"I hated it. It is just objectively bad. The hero doesn't even save the day. You have the Wormmon character come in and take all the credit. And all they did was get the stupid pimp hat back! How does that make him a hero? How is this an epic story?"
"Shut up, Dante! You're not my target demographic. What about you, Ravenna?"
"I kind of like it. I mean, except for the Ravenna character. Why did you make me a hoe that giggles and manipulates men?"
Wormmon's eyelids close most of the way and he smirks.
"Sometimes, art imitates life."
Ravenna bonks Wormmon on the head.
"Ouch!"
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Post Word Count: 694
Total Word Count: 1684
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Spire
Better Mod
An In-Spire-ation to Us All
Posts: 17 
OOC Name: Spiraga™
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Post by Spire on Apr 5, 2024 7:09:53 GMT
Great entry here. I laughed a lot.
Dante gets 5000 bits!
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