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Disclosing One's Identity [Closed - Syre]
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 13, 2021 16:19:38 GMT
Cion's words were definitely kind.
Feeling that paw caress her cheek, Syre raised one of her own, resting her gloved hand right against the back of the fennec's. In a sense, the fox was correct: the BlackGatomon's accomplishments were wholly her own, due to her training and dedication to the cause. And, technically speaking, the ring was a sort of catalyst - one that worked with Syre's form to allow her to unlock her true potential.
To that, the feline gave a chuckle. "All catalyst means is 'key'. I won't pretend to know exactly what my ring does, but trust me when I say that this valiant knight of yours isn't exactly going to walk out onto the battlefield without it." She shook her head - but leaned in regardless, giving the fox a small peck on her forehead.
"Still... thank you." It was nice to hear, and both warming and comfortable to know that she had Cion in her corner. Aside from that, Syre listened carefully. The Arniomon's breath seemed relaxed, and the fox seemed surprised at her own condition.
She was fine. Perfectly fine, once that antagonizing factor was removed from her person. Syre gave a slow nod, and lied back down - gently wrapping her arms around the fox, nuzzling against the side of her neck.
"We'll take a break tonight, then. Maybe this will get easier, or maybe its something we'll have to learn to push through. But for now..." Syre carefully moved to scritch her nails against the fox's side.
"... We're both going to regret it tomorrow if we don't get back to sleep."
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Post by Cion on Dec 13, 2021 17:09:23 GMT
Levity and fondness - what better joys were there to mend an aching spirit? Not interested in an answer to this rhetorical question, Cion simply allowed to Syre's presence to intermingle with her own. Every kittenish word, loving kiss and cuddle were gladly reciprocated with equal care as she gently leaned into her silkenly mellow form. "Always a pleasure..." She responded soft-spokenly, aureate eyes closing slowly as a perpetual smile manifested itself on her muzzle. Such was the bliss of their relationship, and no matter how those outside of it perceived it, nothing was more important to her than it. After all, it was the cornerstone of her current life.
"No regrets." She assured her with utmost confidence, willing to face any obstacle for as long as they did so together. Was it as petty as fatigue, or mountainous as true unification, it mattered little to her. If it was tied to their bond, then she would cherish and protect it with everything she was. Yet she knew that the less she took its facets seriously the better. Time had already proven its persistence, and elation had to be savored at every possible moment. Thus she indulged herself in the warm radiance of the black felidae's touch.
Quietly exhaling a final time, the vulpine lady briefly contemplated all thoughts that occupied her mind. Deep inside she fathomed that the journey ahead of her was crucial. It was one of self-discovery, tenacity and passion. The reward was crystal clear to her, though her avarice to experience it personally was infinitely greater. The past and present were begotten, including their glee and pain, yet the future was an empty canvas. Its contents, and the colors used, were hers alone to choose. And if feasible, she would perpetually resume painting it.
As ephemeral as life was, who and what she was had a choice not to be. And it was with this sentiment that she relinquished her grip to join her dearly beloved into tranquil serenity.
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 15, 2021 17:47:46 GMT
From there, it was a peaceful, warm night. No longer would Cion's dreams stir, the supposed nightmare perhaps drifting into the forgotten, like many dreams tended to do. Relatively well-rested and the scare of the night behind them, the two would go about yet another day, but not without consulting with Dr. Mikemon about what had happened.
Was it normal? Was it dangerous? What should they do going forward? With Cion wearing the ring during the day, Syre, in the living area, would be talking into her D-Terminal.
"Uhuh... okay, I see. Thanks, dad. Yes, I'll see you soon, too." Clicking off of the call, she'd set the device aside, pinching her sinus in slight frustration.
"Well," Syre started, "according to him, taking the ring off 'for the night' is too long of a break. For it to properly attune, it needs to be more-or-less continuously worn. Based on how you were in the morning, we don't think it'll do any lasting damage, but..."
The feline bit her lip, looking towards the fox.
"You were still a mess last night. More than just 'discomfort'."
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Post by Cion on Dec 15, 2021 18:59:53 GMT
Sometimes, despite her tendency to cling to her every facet, Cion overlooked that she was not the sole participant of the bond she shared with Syre. Starring unmovingly with a neutral frown out of their apartment's frozen windows to behold the wintered vista of a likewise glacial metropolis, she could only imagine what thoughts and sentiments were raging in her spouse' mind. Concern, exasperation, ire and a misplaced sense of guilt were presumably quite distinct ones. From experience, she understood that no mere words or notions were capable of pacifying them though. Even deeds and successes often failed to accomplish a feeling of peace.
There was but one option available, and the silver fennec pursued it with ardent stoicism. Not a second went by as she wielded the baneful artifact that which was not filled with bitingly cold discomfort. After that penumbral dream she had endured, she had almost believed that the first steps of truly attuning with the ring had been achieved. Was self-disclosure not sufficient, or was avarice something far more coveting? She of all people should have known, but it was easy for her to disregard the shackles of the past when present caresses of future bliss assuaged their wounds.
She wanted to let go of yesteryear, and embrace her partner in her entirety.
Speaking of which, has the call ended, she was quick to relay the information received. It was a shame that the break was possibly too long, but at least she had attained slight insight into her trial's true nature. Furthermore, that lasting damage was unlikely granted her agitated soul relief. However, the truth in equal measures was that she was vulnerable during sleep. That an essential aspect of a healthy life had such a detrimental sway on her - it was undoubtedly vexing.
Her vast ears flicked as she beheld her reflection, aureate eyes well-nigh motionless. Not turning to face her dearly beloved directly, an inaudible sigh escaped her lips as she... quietly blew a raspberry. What was she supposed to think or say? She was willing to suffer to gain what she desired, but volition was not infinite - not to mention aforementioned disquiet. In the end, she could solely spitball ideas. "There has to be a way for us to rest without similar incidents. Maybe I have to exert myself after all - or I have to mimic you to ease the attunement."
Yeah... that was the best she got, and given that she was a versed tactician, this was not reassuring.
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 17, 2021 18:56:54 GMT
Yeah, it wasn't going to be that easy.
Syre couldn't help but give a smirk, seeing Cion's almost 'dismissive' response to being told that she'd have to wear that ring during their slumber. For such a stoic Digimon, it was a rare sign of 'mortality', of frustration... and once that fact settled in, the feline gave out a long, slow breath, before standing up to slip behind Cion, and rest her paws right on the fox's shoulders.
'Volition was not infinite', yes, but Cion was not one to quickly give up. And she was also quick to discuss attacking the problem itself, rather than sidestep the requirement of their fusion. "Mimic me... I wish I could say there's a specific thing I do to handle it, but its not something I really think about. The only time it messed with me is when I tried to load it, and... 'something' crept up in my head."
Syre thought it might have been a personality in the ring before - but if it existed, why hadn't it cropped up yet? The cat bit her lip, mulling her thoughts over.
"... One step at a time. 2:00 AM was not the time to talk about it, but when I woke you, you mentioned that you were 'dreaming'. Do you... remember what it was about?"
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Post by Cion on Dec 18, 2021 18:47:32 GMT
In her current state of mind, so bereft of focus for the outside, it was naturally difficult for her to truly notice the minutiae of her beloved partner's mien and stance. Likewise it was true that parts of her often unyielding poise had given way to a hopefully fleeting sense of vexation. In any other situation, she would scolded herself or another perpetrator for such utterly unbecoming behavior. After all, she cherished genuine grace and placid pertinacity as virtues, for she resided in a world that she perceived to be filled with self-defeating savagery and preeminent pointlessness.
Yet, as it always managed to do, her kindred spirit's soothing touch rekindled the radiance of her flickering heart. For a moment, she leaned backwards, if only ever so slightly, to indulge herself in her spouse's caring presence. But deep inside, the sentiment of unfairness lingered. However, it did not pertain to herself, but her darling. She was young, innocent in all of this and without doubt a perfectly wonderful individual. And despite her youth, she gave the ancient sentinel hope for the future. If anybody could carry its torch, it was her knight in shining armor, whose potential surpassed so many's, yet was barely tapped into.
And in her greatest desire that was their unity, she hoped to render her ken onto Syre.
Unfortunately, as it frequently appeared to be the case, destiny paved her road with strenuous trials and ambiguity. Nevertheless, lamenting the circumstances of their undertaking was, simply put, purportless. In the end, there were merely two choices, just as there had been in the beginning - to proceed, or to cede. To CIon, as long as her sweetheart was willing, the latter was not an option, no matter how much suffering she had to endure. She had endured worse, and that not too long ago.
"Then I suppose it is purely your composition that makes you resistant. Too bad..." She commented, her dulcet voice carrying with it self-evident notions of dissatisfied acceptance. This lack of clarity was not unlike whispers creeping in her head - as the onyx fellidae had described her attempt to assimilate sin. Yet the truth was not that simple, as was the question asked. The artifact had no personality, ego or impetus. If anything, it contained fractured echoes of these attributes that accentuated them within others. Syre seemed to be the exception of course, but given her origin that was hardly surprising in retrospect.
Narrowing her aureate gaze, it was clear that Cion was considering the answer carefully. She had vowed candor, but explaining what had transpired in her dreams was not as easy as retelling the broken memories. No, that was pointless. Instead, she had to convey her understanding of it, if she was capable of doing so.
"The ring... ensouled my own longings. It was like entwining around my personified reflection. You know, and I hate this facet of myself, that I find it difficult to handle my past in a healthy way. Thoughts of it had happened less lately, alone thanks to you my love, but sometimes I can't help myself but to dwell on lost eventualities. Not necessarily regret, at least not anymore, but... eeh, I'm not sure. Yet I think the ring's power somehow recognizes this wound and... seeks to mend it in the only way its nature allows. I want contentment, but naturally it wants more than that."
Did this make any sense, or was she simply grasping for the first explanation she could think of? Ultimately, the answer to this was presumably not for her to decide. Still, having spoken these words, her tense. demeanor simmered down. Smiling softly, beholding their wintered reflection with serenity, she leaned closer into her.
"There is a saying that the brighter the light the larger the shadow it casts. Considering my fortune with you, for which I am infinitely grateful, I suppose my thoughts are normal. Everyone strives towards something that provides them with purpose. Not to disesteem my proud role as your spouse, perish the thought, but a home can only be that well-kept. I have rested for a few years now, which did indeed wonders, so maybe its time I should give another vocation, or perhaps a new hobby, a try. Again, just spitballing ideas here."
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 18, 2021 21:39:49 GMT
Of course, Cion and Syre shared a special bond, and only the BlackGatomon could truly comfort Cion in this way. She carefully let her paws knead right into Cion's shoulders - and as Cion leaned back, the feline would gently slip her arms underneath Cion's shoulders, to give her a loose hug and to let her settle backwards in that grip. Though Cion was alone in her thoughts, this was not an ordeal that she had to wholly face alone.
That was not to say that it was going to be an easy trial, of course. "Maybe. Compliments aside, the ring is part of my own data, so its natural that my own frame would be used to it. In fact, it only seems to intrude when I give introspective thought..." Was the meditation itself the cause of Syre's discomfort? She never really succeeded in reaching that 'center', with K nor with Cion.
Maybe it was natural that one who prided themselves in 'clear thoughts' would be more impacted by this artifact. And as Cion spoke, that sentiment seemed to ring true: the ring agitated her internal thoughts, and brought up her past thoughts.
And for Cion, reflecting on this past was naught but pure torture.
"... That much..." Syre gave a sigh, and hugged around the fox, resting her chin right on Cion's shoulder. Cion brought up the thought of her own ambition. "Restless thoughts?" Syre gave a small smile: "Well, the Knights of the Rose would be glad to have an active medic in their roster. And if you look elsewhere, I'm sure the doors will be wide open for you." Syre gave a nod, gently resting a paw on Cion's chest, over her heart.
"But if the ring is truly reading into here? I'm sure that it - the 'embodiment' or 'shadow' or whatever it is - would be in as much pain as you." Syre was convinced at this point: the ring didn't have its own will. It simply latched onto 'whatever it could' on its host.
And that 'whatever it could', at least in this case, was the lie that 'everything was okay'.
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Post by Cion on Dec 18, 2021 22:49:48 GMT
"So gentle..." Escaped her lips in hushed, dreamy whispers. Truth be told, Cion did not understand what made her deserve Syre, and perhaps she was still undeserving of a soul so radiant, but her desire to treasure and cherish their bond was only emboldened by this notion. Her dearly beloved did not judge her for her past mistakes and present frailty, nor was she angered, or - perish the thought - hurt. She shared her pain, but to mend it and not to amplify it.
Her kindness, wisdom and patience were unlike most, especially the innumerable as young as her. The silver fennec could blindly fall into her embrace, knowing that she would be held - and for this she loved her more than anything or anyone else. She wanted to return this love a thousandfold, and true unity appeared to be the best means of doing so. Yet it were also the little things, like making sure she'd always have a well-kept home, and have any need and wish satisfied. There was no doubt that she took utmost pride in seeing her smile.
And this was precisely why she had to endure the trial that destiny had imposed on her. Not because she had no choice - no, she'd choose to bear it no matter the excruciation. That was her volition, her greed so to speak, and nobody and nothing had the power to take this away from her. Even if they occasionally breached her poise, she refused to let echoes of shadows claim her mind and perception... again. After all, she was not defined by her worst. And with her best touching her so caringly, how could she not prevail?
As the onyx felidae rested her head on her shoulder, the vulpine lady relinquished the wintered reflection to instead behold the soothingly warm original. And then, without a single word or other gesture, Cion closed her aureate gaze and leaned her muzzle into her cheek. Then she began to caress her with soft motions, wishing for Syre the same care and certainty that she had received from her. She fondled her, maybe for longer than usual, but what concern was time when they spent it the way they enjoyed?
Still she listened, attentive as ever, and liking what she was hearing. Her thoughts were restless, so much was certain, but the reassurance that was voiced calmed them greatly. Feeling the gentle grip over her heart, a murr that broke her silence started to reverberate through her slightly toothy smile. In this moment, everything was truly okay. Why not build on top of that then?
"You've never experienced me fighting, have you? And no, our velvet gloved spar does not count. But I suppose 'medics' are a rarity." She initially quipped, well-aware of the reputation that she had earned in many circles. There had seldom been a reason for her to take charge, so at least her prestige was explainable. "Would not be the first time I toyed with the idea of joining. Before I answer though, I must ask you something." Her tone became more serious, but likewise confident as she opened her eyes to dive in the amber ones of her darling. "Do you believe in the knights? And if yes - why?"
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 20, 2021 3:49:04 GMT
This was bliss.
Despite the difficulty that the pair had in front of them, both Syre and Cion strived to face it together - and the Arniomon, thankfully, did not shy away from that fact. As Cion leaned in, Syre returned that nuzzle - and, at least for a few moments, their worries fell to the wayside. Her paws carefully ran through Cion's fur, as the fox ran her hands through Cion's own.
Everything would be okay. Both Syre and Cion were confident of this fact, that this hurdle would be something that they could see through. As Cion asked her question, Syre gave a flick of her ear, tilting her head.
"I mean... I know your style, at least. Oversimplifying it, you're a healer and a poisoner." The 'holy version of a Keramon', ironically - though Syre didn't dwell on that fact for long. Cion asked a bit more of a pointed question.
Did Syre believe in the Knights? And why?
"Well, if I didn't believe in them, I wouldn't have joined them. As for the reason..." Syre knew why, but she still took a moment to mull over her words. "Don't know how well you knew mom, but she made the Knights, and she was hardly the 'mysterious' sort. She disliked how Luminas and the Royal Knights were handling the state of the world, so she put a team together - of a few Digimon and tamers that she trusted - to handle the woes of the world that the Knights wouldn't take up."
"Of course, that boils down to a team of well-meaning mercenaries and hired help - and we're honestly stretched thin at the moment - but our purpose hasn't changed. We help out where we can - whether that's hunting down a madman scientist or handling a vast fungal infection in Terminus Woods. Very 'world-minded' - its not for everyone, but most can't deny that we do good."
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Post by Cion on Dec 20, 2021 17:19:48 GMT
For a moment, Cion could not help but chuckle quietly. It was true that the aspects of her main form were likewise supportive and debilitating in nature. She was fast and nimble thanks to her petiteness, but this stunted body by no means allowed her to be an effective duelist. And she seldom had experienced an occasion to change up her routine, particularly when working together with equally skilled combatants. However, this self was merely one facet among many. She had not always been this way, and if tempted she had the abilities to potently defend herself. Ultimately though, there was indeed no point in dwelling on this thought for now.
Instead, the silver fennec listened attentively to the answer she desired. The reasons for this and the question itself were not immediately evident, but perhaps Syre fathomed her perspective. Recent events and an overlong existence had made her contemplative and doubtful of certainly virtuous yet seemingly pointless causes. Was safeguarding the status quo actually yielding any fruit in the face of uncountable, recurring opposers? Was stepping into a life for a single instance truly achieving anything, or was it just self-deception? Was a fleetingly helping hand sufficient to brighten the future?
Unfortunately, Syre's response did little to provide clarity. In fact, her explanation was exactly as the vulpine lady had anticipated. The knights were good individuals who wished to solve issues where others considered themselves above them. She had no doubt in their well-disposed agenda, but were their successes lasting? Was that even necessary, given that other groups existed who already mantled the ideals of progress? Maybe the world required both, and considering her failures she was possibly more fit to protect than to advance. If nothing else, after her long respite, was this path at least not deserving of a chance?
"I see." Cion responded calmly with a firm nod. Remaining quiet as she continued to savor the caressing presence of her dearly beloved, it was unequivocal that she was contemplating the proposition. The greatest benefit was undoubtedly spending more time together with her spouse, but was their purpose fulfilling to her? In the end, she concluded that she was under no deadline to find out. What was the saying? - You'll never know until you try. "I think I'd fancy an internship to see if I fit. Do you believe that'd be acceptable?"
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Post by Syre the BlackGatomon on Dec 23, 2021 2:57:53 GMT
This was, at the very least, a pleasant tangent to their ongoing circumstances. As Syre explained what the Knights were to her, Cion kept a calm, listening ear - one that did not betray the fox's own inclinations towards the Knights. It was true, of course, that there were several groups like the Knights, but that didn't mean that their existence was any less valid. They were but one of many mercenary groups who helped the world, both for profit and out of the good of their heart.
Syre's connection to it was that it was started by K.
"An internship? Hm... ordinarily, I'd say that Iko might be a bit of a filter for those wanting to join, but I think both he and I would be happy to have you on board. I can introduce you to him later." She gave a smile and a nod - before slowly turning the conversation back to the topic at hand.
That ring.
"As for tonight? I'll keep an eye on you, Cion. Maybe now that you know what to expect, you'll be able to better talk with that 'other you' - or maybe you'll grow tired of the ring's influence. Whatever happens, just remember."
The feline would lean in, and give a hug, arms locked gently around Cion's waist.
"I'll be right behind you."
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Post by Cion on Dec 26, 2021 19:40:15 GMT
Self-evidently, Cion did know little of the members that constituted the knighthood that Syre belonged to. How could she? She had kept out of such organizations and other global affairs for years now. The sole exceptions were well-paid, dangerous mission which she had seen as an opportunity to sustain their shared affluence. Yet the intricacies of DATS, the spires and similar endeavors were beyond her. And truth be told, as long as they remained in their niche, she did not care to learn more either. Finding her self-imposed purpose outside of homemaking was a gradual, but hopefully liberating process.
However, for the moment, it was presumably best to focus on attuning to the ring, with everything else being secondary or a means to accomplish this strenuous trial. Unfortunately, it was not truly clear to her what synchronizing with it actually meant. If her fractured memories of her first dream were any indicator, then perhaps she had to find peace with herself to do so. But what exactly were these shunned facets, and with what method was she capable of coming to terms with them in a healthy way? Undoubtedly so, the past was quite a constricting shackle.
"Thank you." She responded in a hushed whispers, a dreamy smile forming on her muzzle as she closed her eyes. Gently, she leaned closer into her dearly beloved's firm embrace. The sentiment of not being alone was among the most fulfilling to her whole existence, which was why she was infinitely grateful for her spouse's presence and support - not only for their mutual cause, of course.
And one day, it would be her who'd hold her darling, helping her aspiring towards a brighter tomorrow.
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