||MPC 28|Takara|| Why, Nintendo, Why?
Feb 29, 2016 2:51:32 GMT
Post by Takara Kureha on Feb 29, 2016 2:51:32 GMT
"Hey, have you heard about the new Smash DLC character?" Asked a certain Faceless Side Character A of his friend, Faceless Side Character B. "Yeah... Takara Kureha, wasn't it? What series was he from again?" B replied to A. A furrowed his brow. "I... Don't know, either. Maybe he's a Smash Original?" he suggested... Though, it seemed unlikely. Which is why B responded with, "Let's ask |C|." C being a third faceless side character, known for being a bit of a nerd, but not so much of one as to warrant a name. And so, A sent C a text, asking about the origins of Takara Kureha.
It was barely a minute when the phone buzzed again. Apparently C didn't have much else to do. 'Takara Kureha is,' The text read, 'Well, I'm not familiar with the human. But his attacks utilize Digimon." Much to A's surprise. 'Since when is Digimon a Nintendo Property?' he shot back. 'Sonic. Mega Man. Ryu. Bayonetta. Pac-man. Cloud.' His point was made. A let it go. He relayed his newfound knowledge to B, who was very confused. "Isn't Digimon that Pokemon rip-off?" he asked. He simply could not understand why a Digimon character would be added when there were plenty of Pokemon to use!
Despite his best efforts... A could not explain to B what Digimon actually was. It might help if he actually knew. Instead, he decided to ask C for help. But before he could finish his plea for help, C shot him another text. 'Sis just unlocked him. Come check this out! You won't believe it unless you see it!' "Hey, |B|, |C| just invited us over to check out that new character we've been talking about. You in?" The response was instantaneous. "Heck yeah!" Declared B, who, it might be added, was madly in love with C's sister. Another Faceless Side Character, who we shall call D.
It wasn't long before the two had reached the home of C and D. "Took you long enough! Sis is about to kill me for telling her to wait until you two got here!" And with that, A and B were dragged unceremoniously inside. They weren't even given a chance to wipe their feet! Doors flew open and slammed shut with a speed that could only be born out of desparation. And it was obvious why. D gave him a glare cold enough to freeze fire the instant the three boys entered the room. "May I presume," she said, "That I can now play with the character whom I bought? Using my money?"
C nodded frantically. As quickly as that, D's demeanor flipped to the sweet face that B had fallen in love with. "Make yourselves at home, boys. Let's take this baby for a spin!" Immediately locking in on the custom match she had clearly been setting up since downloading Takara Kureha. "A custom match? What's the point! Play against some real humans!" A complained, only to be glared at by the other three. "Yeah. With a character I've never played before. Bright idea." D drawled sarcastically. That shut A up fast.
It wasn't long before the match loaded. Takara Kureha on one side, and a poor defenseless Mario with no CPU controlling him on the other. It was destined to be a one sided beatdown from the moment D chose 'practice.' The true question was, how one sided? "Let's start simple, shall we?" putting in a basic attack. Takara Kureha batted the air with a gear. A gear with a face. "It's Klang!" declared B. "I knew it was a Pokemon rip-off!" A sighed. Wouldn't B ever let this go? But C took a step further, feeling the need to correct B.
"Actually, that is Hagurumon. Keep in mind, on Klang, the second and third gear are in line with each other, and only one of the smaller ones has a face. Hagurumon has a face on the larger gear, with two smaller ones on either side. Also, Hagurumon came out before the entire Kilink, Klang, Klinklang line. If anything, Pokemon is the one ripping off." B just grunted, secure in his faith that he was right. But he dropped it... For now. The rest of Takara's basic moveset was... Around the same, only with a few variatioons in the exact actions, depending on which directional buttons were pressed. "I still say it's Klang." Muttered B under his breath.
Well the basic attacks were just that. Basic. "Let's try a Smash!" declared D. Takara revved up Hagurumon, holding him rather like a chainsaw. This elicited a chuckle from the audience. Again... It didn't seem over the top for an attack. "Isn't he... Kind of boring?" A asked. Defensively, C retorted, "Well... You haven't seen anything but his basic attacks yet! Sis, try something cooler!" D sighed. Well, at this rate... The aerials and throws wouldn't be anything special. She could test them out on a real opponent later. Besides, she too was looking forward to some pretty cool abilities.
Neutral Special. Stand still, press B. A drill shot straight forward, and, to the viewer's surprise, instantly knocked Mario out. What the heck! They'd barely hit him so far! "Did that... Just knock him out from 12%?" asked A, his jaw agape. "I think so... Try it again when he respawns!" C said to his sister. "Shiny Excadrill." B said. Everyone would have rolled their eyes, if they weren't so shocked at what they had just seen. Sure enough, when Mario respawned... He was soon gone again, this time from 0%. Was Takara Kureha's launching power glitched for that move?
Well, no way of telling that. Just move on to the next move. Side B. A train comes out of nowhere... And once again, Mario goes flying. Takara himself is moved to the edge of the stage, but no further, as the train vanishes once again. B frowns. There's no Pokemon to relate that too! A and C frown too. Did D change the launch power setting while they weren't looking? Was this some sort of prank? But D was just as surprised as any of them. What was going on here!
Tentatively, D held up and pressed B again. Takara raised one arm above his head... But it seemed nothing happened. Keyword seemed. A blimp rose up from below the stage, so large it took up the entire screen! And as it rose, it carried Mario and Takara with it! Well, they could drop back down... Or at least Takara could. Poor Mario had no CPU, was little more than a punching bag as he took his 4th death. The moment before the blimp passed the top edge of the screen, it dropped a package of bombs, carpet bombing the top level of the area.
B finally found his complaint. "Okay, so you say that those aren't Klang and Excadrill. But why the heck does he have a train and a blimp! Answer that, huh!?" "They are Digimon," explained C, "Named Trailmon and Blimpmon, respectively. Still... Isn't this a bit too powerful?" From what he was seeing, this was utterly ridiculous! Who was responsible for balancing this character!? "He's not that bad." D said, to the disbelief of the other three. "Come on, let's see his down special and final smash!"
It dropped a whale. I repeat, his down B dropped a frikken whale. "Wailord." B whispered stubbornly, to be met with a "Whamon." from C. "Same difference." C let it go. It wasn't worth it. B wouldn't listen anyways. Meanwhile, D had jumped up to a higher platform, then pressed down and B again. And again, Mario died. "... Does it really have to hit everything beneath him?" asked A. "I'm telling you, it's not that bad." D replied... But it wasn't clear whether she meant it or not.
Well... All that was left was this Final Smash. With a quick flip to the options menu, D spawned a Smash Orb. Only possible in practice mode, of course. It didn't take more than a few button presses for Takara to reach it and smash it. After a moment of hesitation... Understandable, given how ridiculous the rest of his attacks had been... D pressed the special button to trigger the Final Smash. Takara raised his device above his head, and it zoomed in as five lights swirled around his hand.
And then an explosion filled the screen. As the smoke cleared... It became obvious that Mario had died again, given that he was standing on a respawn platform and glowing with invincibility. And as more smoke cleared... More became obvious. "Dorothy... You ain't in Kansas anymore." C stated with a whistle. Far from the basic stage it had been before... This stage was clearly mechanical. Every part was moving, constantly shifting... Except where Takara stood. And when Mario dropped down... The floor moved away from him, dropping the iconic Nintendo character into the abyss for another death. Surely he was only dying to the lack of CPU though, right?
"Okay, it's clear that something is ridiculous here. " A started, after a moment of stunned silence. "Sure, his basic attacks are, well, basic. But every single one of his specials can launch a 0% damage character off the screen! And his down-B is capable of hitting the entire stage if you're at the top! Not to mention he practically can't fall off with that blimp. I'm saying it now, Smash is officially pay to win."
Not willing to accept it just like that, D put in her thoughts. "Yeah, but in return- All of his specials have long windups. Easy to take advantage of that. And they have very clearly defined ranges. Just stay above him to dodge his down-special, and get under cover when he uses his up special. They're pretty close to normal stage hazards- It just looks ridiculous because the practice dummy can't shield the attacks. Lets try him out versus a normal opponent before judging."
"And his final smash, that kills his opponent at least twice?" B shot back, only to be met with, "We don't know how it works! For all we know that was just RNG, not a sure thing." And from B, "I still think it's a Pokemon rip-off."
And so it was decided to use him in online matches. And soon, they found that it was A, not D, who was right. "Why do his attacks ignore shields?" Shouted C, exasperated. "Pay to win." sighed A. "Ahahahahaha" laughed D, after her tenth consecutive win. I think you already know what B was thinking.
The more games they played, the more Takara Kureha they saw. Eventually, Takara Kureha was all they saw. He was just too strong to not play him! Certainly, not to not play him and still win. Matches were determined more or less by who managed to catch their opponent with an attack first... Or by games of Chicken on Blimpmon's back. After all, staying there too long meant going off the stage... But jumping off too early, meant having a whale placed squarely on your head. Or a barrage of bombs, which had largely the same effect.
People who couldn't afford Takara... Slowly quit the game, as it was simply no longer fun. Them, and the people who were like B, and couldn't stand that a Digimon character was so much stronger than any Pokemon. Overall, it cut a good 3/4s of the fanbase. And all of them got angry at Nintendo, claiming that they had sold out and become Pay to Win. The executives and the team responsible for character design were unable to be reached for comment.
In his office at Nintendo HQ, the executive which could not be reached for comment huddled in a fetal ball. His job was lost, he was sure. The backlash from this would find its way to him sooner, rather than later. Even with that... It was probably too late to salvage the companies reputation. But that didn't matter. In his fevered dreams, he mumbled, "Please don't hurt me, Takara Kureha-Sama"
(Posts, Please)
It was barely a minute when the phone buzzed again. Apparently C didn't have much else to do. 'Takara Kureha is,' The text read, 'Well, I'm not familiar with the human. But his attacks utilize Digimon." Much to A's surprise. 'Since when is Digimon a Nintendo Property?' he shot back. 'Sonic. Mega Man. Ryu. Bayonetta. Pac-man. Cloud.' His point was made. A let it go. He relayed his newfound knowledge to B, who was very confused. "Isn't Digimon that Pokemon rip-off?" he asked. He simply could not understand why a Digimon character would be added when there were plenty of Pokemon to use!
Despite his best efforts... A could not explain to B what Digimon actually was. It might help if he actually knew. Instead, he decided to ask C for help. But before he could finish his plea for help, C shot him another text. 'Sis just unlocked him. Come check this out! You won't believe it unless you see it!' "Hey, |B|, |C| just invited us over to check out that new character we've been talking about. You in?" The response was instantaneous. "Heck yeah!" Declared B, who, it might be added, was madly in love with C's sister. Another Faceless Side Character, who we shall call D.
It wasn't long before the two had reached the home of C and D. "Took you long enough! Sis is about to kill me for telling her to wait until you two got here!" And with that, A and B were dragged unceremoniously inside. They weren't even given a chance to wipe their feet! Doors flew open and slammed shut with a speed that could only be born out of desparation. And it was obvious why. D gave him a glare cold enough to freeze fire the instant the three boys entered the room. "
C nodded frantically. As quickly as that, D's demeanor flipped to the sweet face that B had fallen in love with. "
It wasn't long before the match loaded. Takara Kureha on one side, and a poor defenseless Mario with no CPU controlling him on the other. It was destined to be a one sided beatdown from the moment D chose 'practice.' The true question was, how one sided? "
"Actually, that is Hagurumon. Keep in mind, on Klang, the second and third gear are in line with each other, and only one of the smaller ones has a face. Hagurumon has a face on the larger gear, with two smaller ones on either side. Also, Hagurumon came out before the entire Kilink, Klang, Klinklang line. If anything, Pokemon is the one ripping off." B just grunted, secure in his faith that he was right. But he dropped it... For now. The rest of Takara's basic moveset was... Around the same, only with a few variatioons in the exact actions, depending on which directional buttons were pressed. "I still say it's Klang." Muttered B under his breath.
Well the basic attacks were just that. Basic. "
Neutral Special. Stand still, press B. A drill shot straight forward, and, to the viewer's surprise, instantly knocked Mario out. What the heck! They'd barely hit him so far! "Did that... Just knock him out from 12%?" asked A, his jaw agape. "I think so... Try it again when he respawns!" C said to his sister. "Shiny Excadrill." B said. Everyone would have rolled their eyes, if they weren't so shocked at what they had just seen. Sure enough, when Mario respawned... He was soon gone again, this time from 0%. Was Takara Kureha's launching power glitched for that move?
Well, no way of telling that. Just move on to the next move. Side B. A train comes out of nowhere... And once again, Mario goes flying. Takara himself is moved to the edge of the stage, but no further, as the train vanishes once again. B frowns. There's no Pokemon to relate that too! A and C frown too. Did D change the launch power setting while they weren't looking? Was this some sort of prank? But D was just as surprised as any of them. What was going on here!
Tentatively, D held up and pressed B again. Takara raised one arm above his head... But it seemed nothing happened. Keyword seemed. A blimp rose up from below the stage, so large it took up the entire screen! And as it rose, it carried Mario and Takara with it! Well, they could drop back down... Or at least Takara could. Poor Mario had no CPU, was little more than a punching bag as he took his 4th death. The moment before the blimp passed the top edge of the screen, it dropped a package of bombs, carpet bombing the top level of the area.
B finally found his complaint. "Okay, so you say that those aren't Klang and Excadrill. But why the heck does he have a train and a blimp! Answer that, huh!?" "They are Digimon," explained C, "Named Trailmon and Blimpmon, respectively. Still... Isn't this a bit too powerful?" From what he was seeing, this was utterly ridiculous! Who was responsible for balancing this character!? "
It dropped a whale. I repeat, his down B dropped a frikken whale. "Wailord." B whispered stubbornly, to be met with a "Whamon." from C. "Same difference." C let it go. It wasn't worth it. B wouldn't listen anyways. Meanwhile, D had jumped up to a higher platform, then pressed down and B again. And again, Mario died. "... Does it really have to hit everything beneath him?" asked A. "
Well... All that was left was this Final Smash. With a quick flip to the options menu, D spawned a Smash Orb. Only possible in practice mode, of course. It didn't take more than a few button presses for Takara to reach it and smash it. After a moment of hesitation... Understandable, given how ridiculous the rest of his attacks had been... D pressed the special button to trigger the Final Smash. Takara raised his device above his head, and it zoomed in as five lights swirled around his hand.
And then an explosion filled the screen. As the smoke cleared... It became obvious that Mario had died again, given that he was standing on a respawn platform and glowing with invincibility. And as more smoke cleared... More became obvious. "Dorothy... You ain't in Kansas anymore." C stated with a whistle. Far from the basic stage it had been before... This stage was clearly mechanical. Every part was moving, constantly shifting... Except where Takara stood. And when Mario dropped down... The floor moved away from him, dropping the iconic Nintendo character into the abyss for another death. Surely he was only dying to the lack of CPU though, right?
"Okay, it's clear that something is ridiculous here. " A started, after a moment of stunned silence. "Sure, his basic attacks are, well, basic. But every single one of his specials can launch a 0% damage character off the screen! And his down-B is capable of hitting the entire stage if you're at the top! Not to mention he practically can't fall off with that blimp. I'm saying it now, Smash is officially pay to win."
Not willing to accept it just like that, D put in her thoughts. "
"And his final smash, that kills his opponent at least twice?" B shot back, only to be met with, "
And so it was decided to use him in online matches. And soon, they found that it was A, not D, who was right. "Why do his attacks ignore shields?" Shouted C, exasperated. "Pay to win." sighed A. "
The more games they played, the more Takara Kureha they saw. Eventually, Takara Kureha was all they saw. He was just too strong to not play him! Certainly, not to not play him and still win. Matches were determined more or less by who managed to catch their opponent with an attack first... Or by games of Chicken on Blimpmon's back. After all, staying there too long meant going off the stage... But jumping off too early, meant having a whale placed squarely on your head. Or a barrage of bombs, which had largely the same effect.
People who couldn't afford Takara... Slowly quit the game, as it was simply no longer fun. Them, and the people who were like B, and couldn't stand that a Digimon character was so much stronger than any Pokemon. Overall, it cut a good 3/4s of the fanbase. And all of them got angry at Nintendo, claiming that they had sold out and become Pay to Win. The executives and the team responsible for character design were unable to be reached for comment.
In his office at Nintendo HQ, the executive which could not be reached for comment huddled in a fetal ball. His job was lost, he was sure. The backlash from this would find its way to him sooner, rather than later. Even with that... It was probably too late to salvage the companies reputation. But that didn't matter. In his fevered dreams, he mumbled, "Please don't hurt me, Takara Kureha-Sama"
(Posts, Please)
