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Satisfaction and Hunger (open)
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on Apr 28, 2022 22:53:35 GMT
"Another way to look at digivolution is that it seems to be more similar to metamorphosis. Some digimon can have forms similar to previous forms or look drastically different." Lothar said finally inputting to the conversation and filling in more details Mandrake didn't mention.
"Easy Hex. I think that coat he bought is for someone else. He seems to eventually want to get his own." Lilly said as she scrunched her face as she was trying to figure Hex out. His emotions were at times confusing for her but now at least she had a vocabulary to describe what she was thinking. "Weird."
"What was that, Lilly?" Mandrake asked looking down at the little Gigimon seeing she seemed to be in deep thought.
"Hex has emotions that are weird. I have never felt them before." Lilly said in clarification and Mandrake nodded in as if trying to understand but he was far from an empath as he didn't inherit that ability from his father. It seemed in his family empathic powers skipped a generation. So there was a chance he would have other empathic children. Then when Hex sprung at Shouta and clung to him Lilly began laughing at Shouta's reaction to Hex's unexpected hug.
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Post by eyesinthedark on Apr 29, 2022 16:39:08 GMT
"A metamorphosis, huh," Shouta mused aloud in response to Lothar's comment. That could explain why Hex and Lilly's bodies seemed so simple. While he couldn't be sure what Mandrake and Lothar's true forms looked like, he imagined that they were probably more complex than just scaled-up versions of the two in-training digimon. Most likely they at least had bodies distinct from their heads unlike Lilly, whose head and body were fused together, or Hex, who didn't seem to have any body and his head was blank aside from a single eye. Come to think of it, how exactly was Hex speaking without any visible mouth?
At Lilly's comment about his emotions being odd, Hex flexed his tentacles in what seemed to serve as an approximation of a shrug, even as he climber up Shouta's leg and torso. "It might be because of how I was born. I'm made of the negative emotions of many digimon, so my emotions are always skewed in that direction," he explained nonchalantly, missing the surprised look Shouta gave him.
"What? What do you mean you're made of their emotions? How does that work?" he asked in mingled concern and curiosity as Hex came to a stop, perched upon his shoulder. The digimon hummed in appreciation of the concern, as not only did it tickle his empathy but it also confirmed that Shouta was taking their partnership seriously.
"Most digimon live in a cycle of reincarnation. When they die, their data is reformed into an egg and they begin a new life, usually with most of their memories of that past life intact," he explained, paying attention to how Shouta's emotions reacted to his words. While his concern wasn't exactly fading, it did seem to be overshadowed by a desire for more answers which, while not quite dark enough to be a vivid sensation for Hex, was still enough of a desire to be apparent to him. "But when digimon are reincarnated, there is usually some data that is lost in the process. Fresh digimon are much simpler than the higher forms that died after all. Sometimes pieces of that lost data pool together and form an entirely new digimon. Usually those are the darker emotions that digimon are happy to lose and the digimon created reflect those emotions," he continued, and relished the spike of horror Shouta felt.
"So you're made of, what, misery and anger?" he asked, trying to wrap his head around it. While Hex didn't exactly have the most pleasant of appearance's, he didn't seem like a living ball of negativity, his extremely focused empathy aside. He didn't even seem bothered by this rather unconventional birth, discussing it as calmly as he might the weather. Under other circumstances Shouta might have been interested by the reference to reincarnation but Hex's specific situation seemed the greater priority for the moment.
"Not exactly. I was made mostly from... disappointment, maybe?" Hex suggested thoughtfully. He had always known instinctively what he was made from but he had never tried to put the exact nature of those emotions into words. "I was born from the emotions of digimon who failed to achieve something in their lives. Mostly they failed to achieve the strength needed to stay alive but there are lots of other stuff they wanted too. A lot of them wanted a partner but never found one, which is why I had to make sure you would be my partner before I lost you," Hex said earnestly, staring at Shouta with a yearning gaze that honestly came off as more unnerving than sympathetic.
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on Apr 29, 2022 23:32:45 GMT
"The biggest difference is we don't normally spin cocoons to change from one form to another like the butterflies of this world. When a digimon digivolves we glow with something called the light of digivolution. As for fresh and in training digimon it isn't uncommon for them to be simple in appearance." Lothar said continuing his explanation.
"That explains why your emotions feel not bad per say but weird." Lilly said in response as Hex's words seemed to make sense to her young mind.
"Emotions tend to be a driving force when it comes to digivolution so Hex being born from negative emotions isn't all that odd." Mandrake said after Hex explained the process of digimon reincarnation and then said "Emotions aren't the only information left behind in the process. While sometimes digimon can remember their past lives that is not always the case. Oh and before you ask, neither Lothar or I have experienced the reincarnation process and are on our first lives. Same with our children."
"Being made of negative emotions sounds sad though." Lilly said as she quietly took in Hex's words before she said "Maybe in one of your last lives you wanted a human partner and why you were so protective of him is because you thought you wouldn't find your partner again. Sounds like you had a lonely life." Tears started forming in Lilly's sapphire blue eyes showing how bad she felt for Hex.
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Post by eyesinthedark on Apr 30, 2022 11:34:52 GMT
Hex hummed in agreement at Lilly's suggestion as to his past. "Yes, I don't have any memories from the digimon whose emotions birthed me but I do have feelings. I think some of them wanted to find a partner and some may have wanted to protect a partner but all failed in the end," he explained, and then blinked in surprise at the high levels of concern and sorrow provoked in Shouta and Lilly. "I wouldn't say it's sad, exactly. Being born of so many unfulfilled desires means I'm unlikely to feel fully content within this life. There will always be something else I want. But I can still feel happiness. When I get something I want, it's a wonderful feeling, even if it doesn't last for too long. And I think the effect will fade when I'm reincarnated, so my next life should be happier," he elaborated earnestly. Much to his interest, while this did cause Shouta's feelings to fluctuate unusually, it was more a shifting of the balance between concern and sorrow along with an additional spike of horror rather than an explicit decrease of either. Fascinating.
Shouta, of course, was more than a little disturbed by Hex's nonchalant admittance that he would likely be plagued by endless desires for the remainder of his life, not to mention the distressingly casual reference to his future death. Reincarnation may have made the idea of death a little less alarming but it was still deeply disturbing for him to hear a child like Hex refer to his own death with such ease, almost to the point of anticipation.
What about digivolving? Would that have a similar effect?" he suggested hopefully. "You said that part of the, uh, data loss when digimon are reborn is because the lower forms are simpler than the higher ones so would reaching a higher level mean that you would get more data? Enough to balance out the data you already have?" he asked, aware that he was fumbling blindly for an answer. He didn't even know for sure what Hex meant by data, was that just a term they used for the lost memories and emotions or were they literally composed of data in some form? The term "digimon" did seem to suggest a digital connection.
"Probably not," Hex said bluntly, shooting down Shouta's hope. "Most of the new data would just be extensions of the data I already have. I could get an influx of foreign data by destroying other digimon and absorbing some of their data, but my own core self wouldn't change much," he explained. At Shouta's evident disappointment, he did rush to elaborate before this provoked Shouta to reconsider their partnership. "I do want to digivolve though. Getting more powerful is one of the most common desires of fallen digimon so it's my desire as well. And it might help a little, just not enough to really change who I am," he added eagerly, trying to add a reassuring tone to his voice at the end. After his nonchalant revelation of his tragic nature, however, this attempt at sympathy fell somewhat flat and arguably just made it more disturbing.
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on May 1, 2022 0:55:45 GMT
Lilly's ears drooped as a general feeling of unease and sadness seemed to pervade the area. This was a feeling Lilly didn't like as she preferred feeling the happiness of others over negative emotions such as this. The fact that Hex was unfortunate enough to be negative emotions in physical form didn't make her feel worse even when Hex said it wasn't sad exactly. Yeah maybe not to him but it was definitely not the case for the others near her. She then began pacing. Being an empath was tough and now she was beginning to wonder how her grandfather could handle it. Was it because he was stronger and more disciplined? Probably. Which made her want to be stronger even more.
"Digivolution is not always straightforward or simple." Mandrake said to Shouta after Hex explained more about what would likely happen when he digivolved but it is likely just Hex theorizing.
Meanwhile Lilly who was still pacing back and forth felt a rush of power in her body which made her come to a stop with wide surprised eyes. Blinking her sapphire eyes she let out a crocodile squeak which caught Mandrake and Lothar's attention as they looked at their daughter who was beginning to glow with the light of digivolution.
"Gigimon digivolve to.....Guilmon!" Lilly said her form going from a reptile like creature with stubby legs to a tall dinosaur like digimon who was looking at her claws before she said "I..I digivolved. I made it to rookie."
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Post by eyesinthedark on May 1, 2022 11:15:32 GMT
Shouta was soon distracted from his concern over Hex's existential status by the light that suddenly started to envelop Lilly. While his immediate reaction was more concern and fear, he quickly made a connection to their current topic of discussion as her form began to change. This is digivolution?" he asked aloud as Lilly grew and developed a more complex body. The magnitude of the change somewhat surprised him as she went from a small, stubby-legged quadruped to a much larger saurian creature, increasing her mass many times over. He glanced at Hex, who was still perched on his shoulder, staring at the newly digivolved Lilly in just as much surprise as Shouta was. Does that mean you're going to get that large as well when you digivolve," he asked. If so, that would certainly make keeping Hex a secret much more difficult, at least unless they could find a way to disguise him like how Mandrake and Lothar could disguise themselves.
"I don't really know," Hex admitted frankly. Every digivolution is different. I think that Lilly is on the large side for rookies but I can't be sure what I'll digivolve into until it happens," he explained, eying Lilly's new form. While he had nothing against Lilly and was happy for her, it only highlighted his own desire to digivolve, stirrings of envy rising within him.
I see," Shouta mused, taking a moment to look at his digivice. He wanted to be able to help Hex but was unsure how he was meant to go about doing so. That digivolution had seemed to happen largely spontaneously for Lilly and he was unsure how to go about triggering it in Hex. As soon as he thought this, however, the screen of the digivice suddenly lit up and Shouta became aware of an identical light shining on the side of his face from Hex's perch.
"Oh!" Hex gasped in delighted surprise as his own form began to grow. Negamon digivolve to... Eyesmon!" he announced as the light faded, revealing a shadowy form with a tail wrapped loosely around Shouta's neck, the only features distinct from the rest of his pitch-black body being a pair of red eyes and a mouth filled with needle-sharp teeth. I did it, I digivolved," Hex exulted in triumph, raising his new, scraggly arms skywards.
"So I see," Shouta commented, twisting his neck to get as good a look at the now much larger form on his shoulder as possible. Fortunately, Hex's new form didn't seem to have increased in weight to correspond with the increase in size, or else he may have had some trouble. In fact, Hex's already modest weight had dropped to virtually nothing, such that Shouta could have mistakenly believed the digimon had already disembarked from his shoulder if not for the fact that he could clearly see that Hex was still present. "Congratulations then, to both of you," he offered, nodding his head towards Lilly as well.
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on May 1, 2022 11:48:05 GMT
Though Lilly could feel Shouta's emotions regarding concern and fear when her digivolution began she was too distracted with the process of digivolution. Her once weak form was now replaced by something far stronger and she could feel her magical energies had increased making her wonder just what kind of magic she possessed. It was probably likely at least one of her abilities involved fire since her previous two forms could spit magical embers. "I knew when I digivolved I would get bigger but..." Lilly began as she looked over to Mandrake and said "I think I'm even bigger than your champion form daddy."
"Yes it is pretty surprising, Lilly." Mandrake said smiling at his daughter as she was now taking a few steps in her new bipedal form using her tail much how dinosaurs in the Human World did to balance herself out. Then Mandrake looked at Shouta and Hex before he said "Hex is right about digivolution. Not only is it unpredictable but even digimon of higher levels can be fairly small. I, for example, am a champion level digimon that is on the small side for that level. In my true form I am only four feet tall. That's even small for an adult human."
Then Hex began to digivolve as well into the shadowy digimon Eyesmon and was now loosely wrapped around Shouta his form likely fairly light due to his new form being a being made of shadows. Hex's excitement at digivolving seemed contagious as Lilly was bouncing in excitement feeling the other rookie's happiness.
When Shouta congratulated the two of them a thought came to Lilly's mind as she then said "Wait. How are Hex and I going to move about town? We aren't exactly tiny digimon anymore."
"Don't worry, Lilly. Mandrake and I bought you a holosuit shortly after you were born and were going to give it to you when you got a bit bigger." Lothar said as he had taken off his backpack and rooted around in it for a bit before handing a small device similar to his and Mandrake's. In their case the holosuits they used took on a form similar to a digital watch and placed it around Lilly's arm.
Lilly looked at the device for a moment and reached over activating it taking on the form of a woman that was clearly a magician by trade which seemed quite fitting for the young magical digimon and she smiled at Lothar before she said "Thank you, Dad." Then she made her way over to a nearby reflective surface before she said "Wow! I look so cute!"
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Post by eyesinthedark on May 1, 2022 13:46:04 GMT
Lilly raised a good question about how Hex would get around. While he was much smaller than Lilly and his flat, shadowy form was much less attention grabbing than the big red dinosaur, he was still large enough that it would be tricky to get around without being seen and visibly alien enough that there was no way he could pass for any kind of natural animal or toy. Sensing Shouta's worry about this, Hex grinned as he unwound his tail from around Shouta and lifted into the air, the ear-like flaps on his head beating like wings to keep him aloft.
"That's not a problem for me," he confirmed enthusiastically before diving to the ground at Shouta's feet. Rather than colliding with the ground and hurting himself, Hex instinctively caused his body to flatten against the ground and merge with Shouta's shadow. When it was done, he was virtually invisible except for the fact that Shouta's shadow seemed a touch darker than it had previously. A moment later, Hex's eyes and mouth opened up in the middle of the shadow. I was already good at hiding and now I can travel like this. So long as you don't walk across a glowing floor, I'll always be able to hide in your shadow," he explained, the top half of his body rising up from the ground while the end of his tail remained merged with the shadow as he spoke. Shouta had to admit, it did look like it would be an exceptionally useful skill for staying hidden. He would have to be careful around any bright lights that might expose Hex's form but it was unlikely anybody would notice if his shadow was a little more defined than it reasonably should be outside of exceptional circumstances.
"That should work for the moment at least. Though it still would probably be best if we found a way to disguise you as human as well, so that you don't have to always hide like that," he suggested, turning to Mandrake. "Would you be able to tell me where I could obtain a holosuit like that one?" he asked, eying Lilly's disguised form curiously. Even having seen her true form just moments previously, he could not pick up any sign that her human form was anything but genuine. The magician outfit was perhaps a touch attention-grabbing for a disguise but it was certainly capable of standing up to close examination.
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on May 1, 2022 23:14:21 GMT
While Lilly finished admiring her holosuit appearance Hex's movement caught her eye as he unwound from Shouta moving into the air before mentioning how hiding himself would not be a problem before merging with Shouta's shadow making it only a bit darker but most humans would not notice. Lilly then face palmed before she said "Duh. He's a shadow digimon so I should of suspected he could merge with the shadows."
Mandrake and Lothar seemed a bit uncomfortable as an memory regarding a different shadow digimon came to them before Lothar relaxed but Mandrake took a bit longer as he was visibly pale for a bit longer before composing himself as Lothar helped him calm down by gently placing a hand on Mandrake's shoulder. Sure they hadn't seen that monster that tormented Mandrake for quite some time but that was what subconsciously worried the disguised Wizardmon. Lilly picked up on this looking at Mandrake before she asked "Daddy, are you alright?"
Was he alright. Not really but he had to answer Lilly and knew the best way he could without lying to her as he said "I will be, Lilly." Then when Shouta asked about where one could get a holosuit Mandrake said "I don't know if they are available in the Human World for purchase but they can be acquired in the Digital World in most shops and are customizable to fit a users needs."
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Post by eyesinthedark on May 2, 2022 0:32:52 GMT
Hex's attention instantly switched to Mandrake and Lothar at their upswelling of negative emotions. He had no idea what had prompted this sudden surge of anxiety and discomfort, which was honestly somewhat annoying as he rarely got to experience such a mix of emotions, but he couldn't help but focus on them now. "Are you alright? Was it something I said?" he asked, hoping they would be willing to tell exactly what he had done to gain that reaction. With luck, it would be something he could reproduce in the future if need be. He rose up higher from the shadow until he was only just connected by the tip of his tail, curious to see if this would also have an impact on them.
Shouta also noticed the pair's unease, empathic abilities unnecessary when something provoked a response like that. While he was also curious about what had caused their reaction, he was also aware that it was likely an uncomfortable subject and fortunately, Mandrake had provided a suitable change of subject for him. "The Digital World? Is that where you all come from?" he hazarded a guess. The name did seem to confirm his earlier theory about the digimon being connected to data and digital information.
"Yes, the Digital World is where all digimon come from," Hex confirmed. "The two worlds are mostly separate but there are ways to travel between them. The most reliable way is to ride a Trailmon, which is how I got here to find you," he elaborated. Shouta noted the new term, guessing that it referred to some other kind of digimon.
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on May 2, 2022 0:52:59 GMT
Mandrake looked over at Hex as it was clear the Eyesmon had all his focus now on him. After releasing a deep sigh Mandrake said "You didn't do anything wrong, Hex. I just have had some rather unpleasant experiences with another far more powerful shadow digimon over the last couple of years."
"Unpleasant experiences is an understatement, Mandrake. That creep would go out of his way to torment you in his efforts to enslave you and as a result you have had nightmares that the fiend would destroy what you find dear." Lothar said becoming quite outspoken at his fiancé's attempts to sweep the issue under the rug making the disguised Leomon mildly unhappy. "Not only that that monster murdered your mother when you were barely a week old."
When Shouta spoke up asking about the Digital World Mandrake was glad to have a change of topic. "Hex is right. The worlds are mostly separate except for a handful of natural portals world wide and the Trailmon which arrive in a secluded part of Shibuya Station. It is not uncommon for digimon and humans to make use of that entry to the Digital World."
Lilly moved closer to Mandrake and Lothar before the disguised Guilmon rested a hand on Mandrake's other shoulder in an effort of showing support.
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Post by eyesinthedark on May 2, 2022 11:44:59 GMT
Hex enjoyed the interesting blend of feelings in Mandrake and Lothar that the mention of their old enemy provoked - fear, anger pain and more - though he was disappointed that this was apparently a phobia specific to them. He would not be able to get similar responses from other digimon and it was likely that Mandrake's response to his apparent similarities to this other digimon would only fade with repetition. Disappointing.
"I am sorry to hear that," Shouta offered sympathetically. I've lost two fathers in my life and know how painful it can be. I can only imagine how much worse it would be to have somebody actively trying to cause such pain," he acknowledged. The familiar stirrings of pain rose in his gut at the topic. In truth, he had only the vaguest recollections of his biological father and even those might just have been dreams his mind had conjured up from nothing, but he did remember his step-father's sickness and passing, not to mention his mother's subsequent decline. He pointedly did not include his mother's third husband in the list of fathers he had lost, feeling nothing but contempt for that scum.
Hex picked up on Shouta's own complicated feelings - less intense than those of Mandrake, perhaps, but still very interesting by virtue of the complex mix of emotions - and considered probing at that as well but ultimately elected to let it pass. He still didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize his new partnership and there would always be plenty of other sources of interesting emotions around without poking at what seemed to be a largely faded scar in Shouta's psyche.
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on May 2, 2022 12:40:22 GMT
While Hex was enjoying the blend of negative feelings rolling off of Mandrake and Lothar, Lilly was not. She never enjoyed the feel of negative emotions and hated not knowing how to make things better. This was an ongoing issue for her father's that had started well before she was born and she knew very little about this shadowy digimon who killed one of her grandmas. She would ask more later cause now was not the time for such questions.
Mandrake had gone silent as he was looking at the ground though he heard Shouta's words regarding loosing two parents. After awhile he spoke but he didn't lift his head and seemed struggling to maintain composure somehow managing if only barely as he said "What is even worse is that.. that monster is also planning to kill Lothar and I shudder to think of what he would do to our children especially after he learned of our eldest. Fortunately his movements have been slowed by my father's efforts."
"That digimon is a super mega known as Ravemon but unlike others of that species seems to have inherited shadow powers from another relative making it half bird half shadow digimon. He is a digimon neither Mandrake and I want to cross paths with again and the reason is understandable." Lothar said as Mandrake seemed to be unable to speak anymore since the disguised Wizardmon was now quietly sobbing. Lilly, meanwhile, was still right where she was with a hand resting on Mandrake's shoulder.
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Post by eyesinthedark on May 2, 2022 13:48:52 GMT
"I... see," Shouta finally managed to offer although in truth, he didn't understand at all. As much as he detested his mother's last husband, he could recognize that the man's primary fault was being an irresponsible, self-interested lout who had neither the ability nor the desire to improve things for himself or those around him. He honestly couldn't understand why somebody would persistently go to homicidal lengths explicitly to make Mandrake miserable. The suggestion that Ravemon would target their children as well prompted a further surge of horror within him.
Hex, meanwhile, was finding the entire conversation stimulating on an entirely new level. He couldn't resist the urge to try and provoke a further response to maintain this emotional outpouring but he was conscious enough of the situation to realize that it would be best to proceed with a touch of subtlety. Lilly's empathic abilities would make that more difficult but hopefully she would mistake his intentions as more of an innocent and tactless curiosity rather than active irritation. And if not, her animosity could be interesting as well, so long as it did not come to the point of open conflict with the Mandrake and Lothar.
"Why does he want to hurt you and your family so much? If he's specifically targeting you, there must be a reason," he asked, carefully emphasizing the curiosity in his tone of voice to cover up the eagerness behind it. Not only did he hope this would provoke further complex feelings from Mandrake and Lothar, he was also genuinely curious. As a creature of desires himself, he was very interested in why this Ravemon would have such an obsession with Mandrake specifically.
"Hex, that's inappropriate," Shouta interjected, chastising what he interpreted as rudeness born of naivete. Hex took the opportunity to retreat part way into the shadow, as if recoiling in shame, focusing deliberately on the fact that Shouta had been upset to provoke stirrings of dismay within himself that Lilly would hopefully interpret as remorse over the question. It would also hopefully emphasize his youth and vulnerability to make Mandrake and Lothar less likely to actively show anger towards him.
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Post by ricochet6-Mandrake on May 2, 2022 23:52:10 GMT
Lilly sensed that Hex was clearly stimulated by the conversation but didn't take it personally as Hex was made of negative emotions so such behavior was his very nature. Sure it was unsettling for her to feel such emotions herself but she seemed able to handle it better than when she was a helpless newborn.
Mandrake wasn't offended by Hex's question as it made sense for the Eyesmon to want to know. Taking a deep breath Mandrake looked over to Hex and Shouta before he composed himself as he said "I'm not sure why he wants to torment me other than once controlling my mother. Maybe it is because I was born of two fairly strong digimon with one being an skilled but ancient magician. I was just grateful that when he captured mine and Lothar's eldest son LJ that my father stepped in to help or I might of had to surrender to that monster to protect my son. Yet even then that wasn't a guarantee."
"What I find more curious is that Ravemon might be afraid of Mandrake and I when we are together since he mentioned it to me after an even earlier time, before LJ was even born, he captured Mandrake." Lothar said his grip tightening a bit on Mandrake's shoulder before Lilly gently swatted Lothar's hand and he eased his grip.
"Why wasn't I told this?" Lilly asked sounding sad.
"We were planning to tell you when you were a bit older. I guess since you are a rookie it is a good time to mention this. We'll tell you everything in private later." Mandrake said and Lilly nodded in understanding.
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