Its All Cos-Purr-Lay! (Tag Carlos - Private)

“Were you taking me now, hooman?” The childish creature that called himself Pagumon asked as he barely poked his head out from Carlos’ backpack. The man sighed at this inquiry. It was the fourth time the thing had asked him the same question.
“For the last time…I’m going to visit someone...”
“Yes I know, your friend girl.” The round blob quickly chimed in, interrupting Carlos. “What I’m asking is why are you taking me there?”
“Her name is Talia, and she’s my girlfriend, there’s a difference. And I’m only taking you because there’s no way I’m letting you roam around my place unattended. I saw the way you we’re eyeing my fridge and I know how much of a pig you are with your food.” He replied, pure irritation in his voice.
“Tch, how ruuude!” Pagumon said with a huff.
“Deal with it, kid.” Carlos replied drily, tired of being stuck arguing with something with the mental maturity of a spoiled eight year old kid.

Such a weird turn on the young man’s life had happened a mere day ago, when out of nowhere the small monster had spontaneously appeared inside the man’s backpack, and against his best instincts he had decided to take him home, guided only by a weird, primal urge to keep that thing from being harmed. Call it some sort of fraternal instinct. Oh yeah, and that was without mentioning the guy dressed as a cowboy that tried to detain Carlos on because he had somehow kidnapped Pagumon.

Boy, in hindsight his dad was right. Life in Japan was weird.

So now, after having had breakfast with the small round monster (Pagumon having eaten a whole box of cereal on his own, prize and everything) he had decided to pay a visit to the most important person in his life at that moment: his girlfriend, Talia Brandt. After the sheer insanity the day before he could use a nice change of pace.
And who knew? Maybe if he told her about this she could think of a solution to his predicament.
As he started climbing up the stairs leading to Talia’s floor, Pagumon spoke once again.

“Will Talia give me food? I’m hungry.” He complained, as his stomach loudly growled almost inmediatelly.
“Ignoring the fact you already ate breakfast, my breakfast, at that, you have a bag of crackers in there, it should last you till we go back home.”
“B-but I already ate that on the way here!”
"Tough luck."

He knocked on the apartment’s door, doing so in a very particular way that would let her (and anyone that knew him for that matter) immediately know it was him. Three knocks, three rapid knocks, short pause, one last knock. Why he picked the bass line for the song Under Pressure for their secret knock? No real reason to be honest, he just really liked that song and know him knocking on doors like that was just sort of his thing.
As he waited for a response Pagumon chimed in loudly once again.
“I smell food. Tell her to give me food!”
“Stay. Quiet.” Carlos said with a scowl, the annoyance in his voice now almost tangible. Having to look after this thing was really starting to get on his nerves. “Or I swear to god you’re not getting more food till we go back home.”

The way the human snapped back at him so suddenly after having acted relatively calm took the small digital monster by surprise, and he was unable to respond until a good second or two of stunned silence.
“Hmph, I will only cause I want to. Dumb human...” Pagumon replied with a pouty frown, sounding almost hurt by the rejection, which made Carlos roll his eyes as he sighed yet again, feeling...a bit remorseful, if still annoyed. That thing was just like a little kid, knowing exactly what to say and what tone use in order to get a reaction out of him.

It worked every single time.

Before Carlos could even apologize however he was distracted by the familiar feminine voice coming from the other side of the door telling him to enter, only to stop him immediately. Maybe a bird had entered her apartment again? The sounds eventually stopped, and he was invited to come inside.
“Hiii.” He greeted as he opened the door and entered the apartment, a warm smile pursing his lips as soon as his eyes saw his significant other. “How’s my favorite game coder?” He asked as he approached the blonde and held her tightly close to her in a loving embrace, giving her a small but sincere kiss on her lips before letting go.

“Eh, you know, the usual. Surviving, working half time trying to make a living…” He replied with a chuckle. He always did enjoy getting that sort of reaction out of her, acting all swoony over him. Not to say she couldn’t get that reaction out of him from time to time.

What did get a reaction however was she mentioning his backpack. You know, the one carrying a so far unknown life form that had completely shattered Carlos' view of how the world worked? He obviously froze for a moment upon hearing Talia ask what was inside, but was quick to lie his way out of it.
“…stuff. Work stuff and the like. Nothing important.” He said, trying to seem nonchalant as he carefully put the backpack on the ground next to the door. How he wished he had the courage to show the contents of the bag to Talia, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. For all he knew she could have a heart attack if she saw Pagumon. Maybe he would tell her some other day, hopefully after the little bugger left him and disappeared back into whatever world he came from.

If only it were that simple.

“Just water’s fine, I already lost enough sleep last night. Some annoying kid next door kept waking me up.” He said, leaving the bag as he approached the kitchen, shooting it one last look to make sure it didn’t move.

“That jerk face.” The blob cursed under his breath, quiet enough as to not bring any unwanted attention to himself. How dared that human speak about him like that? He wasn’t annoying, he was hungry, he just wanted to eat. It wasn’t an unreasonable request! He had only ate one cereal box and a bag of crackers, of course he was still hungry!

Speaking of which, something soon caught his attention away from his complaining. The always welcomed smell of food, and it was very close.Who cared about what that dumb human said? He was hungry! That made feeding and sating his anger his top priority, stealth be damned.

Plus, if he was sneaky enough about it nobody would notice a lost cookie or two, right? Right.

“Bwehehe, I can get my own food, I don't need you foolish human.” The digital creature thought to himself, as he slowly pushed against the inside of the backpack, carefully inching closer and closer to the kitchen and that hypnotizing aroma.

“Hmm, what you cooking?” The unmistakable smell of pork filled the apartment, making his mouth water. “It smells deli-“ It was then he noticed it: the backpack was no longer on his original place, having moved a good distance from the front door and close to the kitchen. It had just now bumped into the boy’s legs and was now trying (and failing) to find a way around them. Carlos cursed under his breath. That hungry idiot was going to blow his cover! If Talia saw how the bag had moved all that distance on his own she would definitely ask what was inside it. Carlos needed a quick diversion, something he could do to keep this whole thing from blowing up.

And he knew exactly what that diversion was. The one universal excuse that 9 times out of 10 was the best “get out of jail free” card.

“…sorry, I gotta use your bathroom.” And with that he took a hold of the bag and made a beeline for the bathroom, not knowing what was waiting for him at the other side of the door.

Carlos paid no attention to the blonde’s protests. It didn’t matter how the bathroom worked, he had to have a talk with this blob now before he got them both figured out.
“Sorry, I really have to go, its just really…” before he could finish the sentence however after he turned the knob and opened the door to the W.C. he came face to face with two small, big mouthed and big eyed blobs staring back at him and bouncing all around him. Even ignoring the fact that they looked awfully similar to the blob he was carrying around, it didn’t took him long to put two and two together as to what was happening. It did took him a while to actually get over his shock and be able to speak.
“So….you too?” He said turning to away from the chaotic creatures and facing his girlfriend again.

“Grrr, why must you stop my quest for pork, hooman?” Said an annoyed sounding voice from inside the man’s backpack, before the small Pagumon poked his face out of the bag with a rather grumpy and displeased expression while it shot daggers at Carlos. It didn’t took long for the child digimon to notice the other small blobs jumping up and down and making noise just below him. He blinked once. Twice. Then looked back at Carlos, somehow looking more annoyed than before.

“Gaahh, you oaf! She also has partners! Hiding me and denying me pork was pointless! Pointless I tell you!” He practically screeched out, outraged, making Carlos let out an annoyed sigh. He took a hold of the small round monster within the bag with his both hands, and he turned to face Talia once again.

“Talia, Pagumon. Pagumon, Talia.” He said, rather unenthusiastically.

“So, are you the friend girl he keeps telling me about?” He asked, his reddish eyes staring her down intently. He took a long look at her, as if silently judging her, but soon seemed to relax. “Well, you smell like food, so you can’t be all that bad.” He declared with a nod, his high standards apparently having been satisfied for now. And with that he slipped out of the man’s grasp, landing surprisingly gracefully on the ground despite…you know, lacking any sort of limbs.

“Now, which one of you two will bring me food?” He shot an annoyed glare at the other two digimon, as he pompously made his way to the kitchen and jumped atop a chair, eyeing the stoves cooking food impatiently.

“So. Where you find these? I found mine at the movies Kind off.” Carlos asked, his nonchalant tone doing a great job at hiding his utter bafflement at this bizarre turn of events.

“Thanks, I’m good with just one.” Admitedly he felt bad seeing his significant other having to endure such a big load, but the thought of having to bear more than one of the digi babies was almost unbearable.

“Careful, he bites.” He warned Talia as she took the small furry blob from his hands. Said blob wasn’t particularly amused by this turn of events.

“H-hey! Put me down, lady!” The small fiend protested as he was grabbed by the blonde, trying to squirm his way out of her gentle embrace. "I said put me do-!" His outraged tone was quickly silenced and escape stopped as soon as her soft hands began scratching his head. His eyes widened in surprise for a moment, before slowly closing, a pleased purring like sound escaping from him while Talia kept petting him like a small cat. Carlos was frankly taken by surprise by his partner displaying such a level of cuteness so far unseen coming from the small blob…except during the admittedly short time he slept. God, his snoring was the cutest thing ever.

“Wow. If I had known he was so easy to manipulate I could have gotten so much sleep last night.” He commented as he followed her into the kitchen, keeping watch on Pagumon from the corner of his eye to make sure he didn’t set fire to anything or something.

He was already used to everyone else asking him to reach for stuff in tall places, but it wasn’t something that bothered him too much. If anything, he liked being able to make use of his height to help others.

“Perks of having a very tall dad, I guess. And I suggest you don’t make fun of someone taller than you, maybe I’ll use you as a stool.” He teased back as he handed her the plates from the cabinet.

“Yes, a night terror at that: barely let me sleep last night, kept yelling threats at a pigeon on the window until he fell asleep.” He said pinching the bridge of his nose, sounding tired. “It's like pet sitting an annoying dog...with a comprehensive knowledge of every word in the English language."

“Also a little pig when it comes to food. He ate my whole cereal, prize and all!” He said, a clear tone of annoyed outrage in his voice. No he was not going to let that go. He really wanted that cereal, damn it.

“I honestly don’t know what to do with him. Feels bad to just leave him out in the open to fend by himself, you know?” He admitted somewhat somberly. True, the small bastard was kind of too obnoxious sometimes, but he was still a kid, and Carlos couldn’t help but sympathize with the small critter, being alone and away from everything he ever knew.

Then again, Pagumon wasn’t really good at making the best of first impressions on anyone. He obviously didn’t care, as evidenced by the angry glower he shot at Koromon soon after demanding for food. That he had been knocked off the chair by force of Koromon crashing into him was bad enough. That his attacker was trying to cuddle him only made matters worse.

“Get off me, you big cabbage! The dark lord Pagumon doesn’t care for your games!” The small fluff ball yelled back, trying to shove away the Koromon that still kept trying to hug him. He had met the hyperactive blob for all of ten seconds, and he was convinced he already hated him. How he loathed these overly loving types that always invaded his personal space in search of approval.

Then again, his sister wasn’t much better, already coming off as standoffish towards him.

“Oh yeah? Well I’m the guest, so I should get double special treatment!” He complained with a huff. “And twins? I can tell, you’re both equally annoying!”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Spend the night with him and then we’ll see just how lovely he is.” The man said, unamused as he glared down at the blob. Pagumon was quick to notice, and stuck out his tongue out in his direction, before resuming his march towards the kitchen. The man simply rolled his eyes, too over his partner’s nonsense to even be bothered by it any more.

“Maybe I should hire you as a nanny, I don’t think I can leave him at home alone.” For all he knew the little bastard would sleep inside the fridge and eat everything before Carlos came back from work. Maybe he oughta buy a chain to keep his fridge secured from the hungry claws….er, ears of his partner.

“Aww, will you buy the chocolate ones too? I know you like those.” He said in a teasing tone, before taking a bite out of the cutlet on the fork. He chewed for a moment, letting the taste settle in perfectly before giving her an answer.

“Hmm, this tastes awful!” He said in a cheery voice, even giving her a thumbs up…before letting out an almost childish snicker. “Nah I’m just screwing with ya, it’s delicious.” He said reassuringly, giving her a gentle kiss whilst giving her a hug.

As much as he hated it, she knew she raised a good point. Maybe he was being a bit too hard on the small creature. After all, it was only a kid, possibly away from his home, it was only understandable that’d he would be so grumpy. “I know I know. Heh, what, are they bringing out those maternal instincts of yours?”

The small self proclaimed monarch meanwhile couldn’t do much else than huff and puff, annoyed at the other creature that clearly had no regards for personal space. Not only that, he had his mind dead set on getting Pagumon to play with him. The worse was certainly Moonmon thought, who saw fit trying to put him in his place.

“Hmph, you should be respectful, the dark lord’s wrath is one filled with pain and terror!.” He threatened the small tulip, before turning again to face Koromon…who proceeded to boop him in the forehead before he had any chance to talk, running away afterwards while laughing, his sister following close behind.

“I said I don’t want to play-“ The tiny egomaniac stopped himself, his scent catching the delicious aroma of the pork cutlets being ready. He looked back and forth between the food and the direction the twins had ran to a couple times. A big, evil Grinch like smile would soon split across his face. If those two weren’t around, it could only mean he would be able to eat it all himself unimpeded. “…bweheheh, so finders keepers, eh?”

He jumped on top of the chair once again, and after putting his best “innocent wittle digimon” eyes, he talked to the humans. “Is the food ready?”

"Eeeh, I don't know if Sesame Street is a good idea, it has Big Bird in it, and he's...not too fond of birds." Carlos said, scratching the back of his head. Truth be told he was worried about exposing Pagumon's young, impressionable mind to television, who knew what sort of weird idea he could learn from there.

Carlos then immediately felt surprised at that sudden train of thought he had. He was starting to sound like his mother, worrying about her child watching too many violent shows. Maybe the life in Japan was starting to take a toll on him.

"Nuh uh! Am not! I'm big, mean and way smarter than you!" Pagumon stuck his tongue out at the Moonmon, feeling offended at the blob's gall of insulting him. He wasn't a baby dang it! He was just...a ruler in development, that was all! They would need to learn respect, one way or another.

The man chuckled, seeing her teasing had hit the mark in getting a reaction out of the blonde.
"I mean, rhinoceros are pretty maternal, ever seen a pissed off rhino protecting their offspring? Not a pretty sight." He mulled, shrugging slightly as he did so, though he chuckled with her following comments, "Heh, we are a pretty charming bunch I suppose. But...I do suppose they're too cute to completely dislike. Wish mine would stop trying to bite me though." He said, glancing at the little devil sitting on the chair. His cute front might have worked on Talia, but he knew better than to trust that sly smile.

Yet, even so the man couldn't help but feel...almost caring for the little bugger in a way. He wasn't sure why exactly, so he chalked it up to just some sort of fraternal instict and didn't thought too hard about it.

"Come on, I'm starving here!" The small blob demanded, bouncing up and down impatiently from his chair. He was promised pork, so where was that fabled pork?! He wasn't able to question that for long however, as he suddenly felt something tugging at him from under the table. In a swift movement, he found himself lying back on the floor, having been somehow moved from the chair. He looked up, confused, only to confirm what he suspected: those twins again! They were not going to stand in the way of his pork, damn it!

Making sure no eyes were staring at him, he took a bit of distance from the chair, before rushing towards it rapidly, leaping to the top and knocking the twins off the chair, leaving him sitting smugly alone in the top once again. Giving the humans a toothy grin, he once again said "Can I have some pork now, please?"

A run in? That would be putting it mildly.“Yeeeah, he tried eating one. Like, the whole thing, swallowed whole in one bite. He somehow later ended on the roof and I had to break the lock to get in!” Sure he could have asked the landlady to open it for him, but then he would have had to explain where he had found a sentient blob with big ears and the like, and he wasn’t all too keen on having to go through that.

Even if he smiled back to the girl, Carlos had some doubts with her words. Would that little demon really come around eventually? Wasn’t this how horror movies started? A young idiot brought something that clearly was a monster into his home, took care of it, fed it…until the creature eventually grew and decided normal food wasn’t satisfying its hunger.

Granted, this Pagumon was miles and beyond far cuter than any of those monsters…for now at least. That and he was too chubby to fit on a basket case, so that was another thing from the horror movie checklist he didn’t fit.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He added, giving her a gentle kiss back in the cheek, as he helped her out in preparing the table for the ensuing lunch.

All the while Pagumon simply sat on the chair, a sly devilish grin on his face worthy of a James Bond villain. Everything had gone according to his dastardly plan, and was now going to have all the lunch for himself! Or at least…so he thought, as before he could sink his tiny teeth into the delicious treat, he was once again knocked down to the floor by those meddling kids! Even with Talia telling them that there was enough food for everyone, his anger was too great to quell, even with the promise of food!

“No! It’s my pork! I’m the pork lord!” The Pagumon cried out, outraged and angry at this. Such a transgression against the Dark Lord would not go unpunished! “You have angered the lord of tasty salty treats! Now I’m going to eat you!” With no other warning, the small blob opened his rather wide mouth, and bited down on Koromon’s feelers. Granted, the strength behind said bite was…rather underwhelming, and even an In-Training like Koromon would probably feel nothing more than a slight discomfort, as Pagumon didn’t so much bite down as he sort of just tried to nibble his foe away. Even going so far as making stereotypical “nom nom” noises.

Carlos rolled his eyes a bit, but was quick to grab on to the small fiend and pull him away from the other two.

“Goddamnit Pagumon! What did I say before? It’s not good to bite others!” He scolded the creature, who merely stuck his tongue out at him, clearly not taking the human seriously in the slightest. The man turned and looked at the blonde, a mildly embarrassed and apologetic look in his expression. “So sorry about this, I knew it was a bad idea bringing him along.”