Darkness Within Light [Nol]

Stress.

Stress often made one question what they were for, and second-guess if they were making the right choices. And as Holly had her exams coming up, this remained doubly true for her. Thoughts of her colored past would inevitably force themselves to the front of her mind, distracting her, leading her every-which-way except for the goal at hand. It was perfectly normal to go through, and as the sun started to set over the islands of Luminas, the Meiphemon would be left a lot of time to think.

... Which may have distracted her from her surroundings. As the sun started to set low, as the normal shadow would be cast from her windowsill, something dark would slip into those shadows, right in the corner of her vision. A rat, a leaf, maybe? Hard to tell - but her shadow would give a small dark pulse, fading right to its normal color afterwards - something brief enough to be considered a trick of the light, or maybe a flicker of a branch outside.

Maybe Holly was tired.

”Maybe… I can sleep a little early today… No point in burning myself out.”

As it was, probably a good idea. Holly would drift off, slowly, into a nice, deep sleep, one that might have felt warmer than usual. And as her mind stirred, and as Holly started to dream, her own dark shadow would start to envelop her like a blanket, the eye of a familiar Shademon watching over her.

Guiding her along.

It would be hard to know if Holly would even remember it in the morning, but Holly's dream that night would be of her as a Meicoomon, practicing on a balance beam in front of Dark, the Impmon, as well as the Ravemon. It would be of her piecing together maps in the planning room - and it would be of her pouncing, trying to catch Shade's eye as it slipped around the room, a sort of training exercise.

Oddly happy memories, considering what they related to - perhaps of a time that Holly thought of them all as family...

Nine books, eleven days, as well as class and study sessions on top of it all? Holly had a full plate!

She was close to her goal, after all, and even as her thoughts and dreams leaned towards the past, she couldn't lose focus on what was right in front of her. During the day, the Shademon kept itself hidden and silent, helping her out in more 'unseen' ways, like preventing her from stubbing a toe or helping to find just what book she was looking for. During the day, she'd be busy, and during the night, when she finally dozed off, those happy dreams would return.

Memories of Dark. Of the Peckmon, of the Lobosmon, of the Ravemon... at least for a couple days. But as exams neared, her dreams would take an interesting shift, instead helping to focus her on the studies at hand, 'reviewing the books' as she slept, with her focus entirely on the pages in front of her.

The specter wanted to help, and wanted to guide, while remaining unseen. And honestly, if Holly was thinking through it clearly, she might have caught on to what was going on...

... Or maybe she had her thoughts completely on her tests. Her finals were fast coming up, after all!

The tests were behind her, and Holly was left tired - and the Meiphemon had an entire weekend to sleep and recover. Mikemon would probably want to celebrate with her after the grades were all said and done, and she'd soon have to spread her wings and go out into the broader world.

As Holly would start to doze off for the weekend, the dreams would start to turn back to how they were at the start of the week, back to her time with 'them'. However, this time, it was not a happy memory. This one was of a Meicoomon, shuddering after her first job, wrapping her arms around her knees, whispering to the Shademon in her shadow.

"Please, take it away. I don't want it. I don't want it!"

With those words spoken, the Shademon's incorporeal body would envelop the Meicoomon's smaller frame, as the Meiphemon, watching the dream, saw it all in third person. As for what followed?

Every job.

Every single repressed thought. Each difficulty, each success, each failure - though Guru had unlocked them before, they were once more pushed to the forefront, in front of the current Holly's more mature eyes. The stress, her accomplishments, the good-and-bad balanced in her head - it would call come back to her...

... And Iris' voice would echo in her head.

"I've held onto this until you were ready. The real you. The capable you."

The memories would shift - and Holly would be reminded of the effects of holding herself back. Of Iko not even breaking a sweat, throwing her down against the mat. Of Holly only able to get 'angry' in response to a threat, and of all the pain that came along with it.

"You hold yourself back. You know you can do more - but you threw it away. Why?"

She threw it away because it didn't feel right.

Iris listened, the Shademon's voice calm, his presence warm as it had been for the entire week. The Meiphemon could speak honestly, and let her thoughts be known in the safety of this dream. Even as she stirred on the outside, Iris would help her to relax, taking the edge and frustration off of her thoughts.

"I am here. I've been here this entire week. Watching. Seeing the one that you became."

In that dream, Iris' voice continued to echo in her head. "I know it very well, Holly. Your internal thoughts, your fears. We were very close in those few months, and your shadow was one that was warm, and comfortable to rest in. But I confess, we were naive. We were impatient."

The memory was replaced with a blank space, Iris no longer wishing to distract. And before her, the shadow would stretch out, separating from her frame, standing separate from her.

"But I feel it. Those instincts never left your claws. That potential still remains, even deep in your core. What you have seen since than has not dulled it in the slightest. So I've come to ask."

"And you already know the question."

Naive, impatient, uncertain.

These were all words that could be used to describe the old Holly, but not the new one. Right now, Holly was able to calmly reflect on her own thoughts, and consider everything about the situation presented to her. She was so calm, that she was even able to control her own space, the 'white void' soon being replaced by her room, her own bed.

What if she said no? What if she said yes?

The Shademon, still tied to Holly's shadow, would approach, its body wrapping like a wisp several times around Holly's own. "What we do is for the benefit of the world around us, to keep it a safer place from tyrants and would-be monsters. Why would we dissuade you from your own path? A doctor."

The Shademon's eye gave a blink. "One who could doubtless save countless lives by their own merit, one who could avert or recover from the same disasters we try to prevent. We would never ask that you give up your training, nor give up everything that you learned to reach this point."

Iris held himself close.

"You would no longer be an apprentice, but an equal. It would not be your assignments, but your decisions. And, most likely, you would maintain your position as a doctor in Luminas - or wherever you would end up." That part, Iris  could not be entirely certain of. Such was the way of their practice.

As for if she said no? Iris seemed to consider it for a moment. "I may simply retire to your shadow. Boss cannot perform these jobs alone..."

"I see no issue with taking such an oath. The skills in one hand shouldn't impede the intents of another."

Iris' view was optimistic, but perhaps not entirely rooted in reality. Indeed, if this 'secret' life were ever uncovered, Holly might not be able to get a solid footing in a medical career ever again. It may come to the point where the Meiphemon would have to choose what was really important to her, whether that would be days or years in the future.

At least for the moment, however, Holly seemed receptive to Iris' offer. The Shademon remained gently coiled around the Meiphemon's frame, even chuckling at the comment given to him. "I meant to bring up these questions sooner, but your mind was far too occupied. I figured a bit of comfort would help to relax your mind going forward - as well as keeping those books in the front of your head." Naturally moving along with Holly, tied to her shadow, the Shademon heard that last comment.

'Where to'?

"If you'll lend me an ear..." And, if given permission, that room would be replaced with the vision of a street on the far side of Luminas. To a single alleyway, and to a small set of stairs leading down to an old, metal door.

"You will knock. And when asked, the password to entry is, 'A Dandelion'."